sounds to me like you don't have somebody you care about with add/adhd. If they turn into zombies it is only because thier meds aren't right for them. Be very careful what you say till you have walked a mile in thier shoes!!!!! If you have a heart condition why would you want to take any meds to help your heart function better? Maybe you wouldn't. But think about that.
Hi. It was great to read your post because my daughter has suspected ADHD at 18 and all the info I have been able to find about it refers to much younger kids. She,like yourself, has never acted out and I partly blame myself for her late diagnosis because I did not realise it was such a serious problem. She broke down in tears the other night and finally told me what life is like in her world. She can make friends but,in her words:" once they find out how strange I am, they lose interest" She celebrated her 18th last week and I think this is what brought it all to a head-she invited about 20 "friends" to a meal and booked a whole room in a restaurant. Almost all of them cried off at the last minute and in the end only five turned up.She felt really humiliated and unloved and what should have been a special night turned into a bit of a nightmare. These social issues seem to be the worst factor of the disorder for her although concentration is also a big problem. I think she would benefit a lot from talking to fellow sufferers. I desperately want to help her but don't know where to start.
I definitely agree. I am only 20 years old and wasn't diagnosed with ADD until I was 17. Before I was diagnosed I felt stupid. I couldnt remember homework and when I did sit down and try to finish assignments I was up and down every 2 minutes getting pens, getting a drink, going to the bathroom, getting food, it was aweful. I interrupted people when they were talking, forgot what I was talking about in the middle of sentences. People would try to explain things to me and I would listen to what they were saying without actually HEARING them. I have no filter on my memory. I remember some things and not others. It's still a struggle for me and I used to be embarassed about having ADD but now I tell people and talk about it. I have become a much better student and my self esteem has sky rocketed since. I go to a psychologist now to help with my memory issues because apparantly I have severe ADD but because I didn't act out it went unnoticed for so long. Its an aweful disability but I've learned to except it.
i COMPLETELY agree with what other people have been posting - someone wrote "Kids with ADHD that have parents in denial about it, have a low self-esteem because they get in trouble a lot and are labeled as "problem children". They aren't bad kids"
I felt so horrible about myself when i was younger, becuase by all accounts i was "gifted" and "a genius" but despite my efforts, was unable to remember and complete my homework assignments and such. Teachers and parents viewed me as a "problem kid" and a "slacker" because I wasn't getting my stuff done and had issues with impulsivity, excessively socializing in class, etc... I believed there was something seriously deficient about myself. I truly thought of myself as someone without will power, discipline, or the ability to be "good", and it lead to a number of other issues throughout my life.
Take your kid to have a thorough examination done - when I was tested (finally), I had to go for 3 separate sessions with the psychologist who was examining me - about 6 hours of being tested in total. She did a lot of things that seemed unrelated, but which were actually ruling out other psychological disorders which would cause similar symptoms. Her diagnosis was great becuase it identified another issue which Ihave benefited immensely from working to overcome, and also the formal report she gave was perfectly suited for getting a 504 plan set up (accomodation for ADHD students, such as extended time on tests and a kind of 'advocate / assistant' who would help me stay on top of my assignments and obligations)
I wished I had been diagnosed earlier than I was - at 40. My son who has severe ADHD did not respond t the medication and we do our best. In my daughter, it was a miracle (though we take a medication break in the summer).
Self - esteem - Going form being below grade level to straight A's - that was a boost not the other way around.
For the experts advice, go to Breggin.com there ia plenty of advice and details by a child psychiatrist, that back up your original Post.
I agree that there have been alot of children who have been diagnosed,
when the need was not neccesary. That is why, further research on the
subject should be taken into consideration.
Although, I believe that EVERY possibility must be ruled out before
taking the step of diagnosing a child. Because when you think about it,
there are so many factors that should be taken into thought.
So much of the following could have an impact on their education:
educational material, environment, study habits, teachers, etc.
So many people are quick to overlook these possibilities.
If there is one thing that I would want people to understand,
is that ADD/ADHD is NOT a handicap. If anything these people
are much more eccentric, and smarter than we are!! There are
plenty of successful athletes, doctors, CEO's, movie stars, artists, etc,
who have this and continue to be completely successful in life.
I agree with the posts above that talks about being better after meds. Not all kids need meds but that's for the drs. to decide. Children know when they cannot control impulses and are grateful when they can.
I have to back up OCWhiteGirl. It was before the diagnosis that I felt horrible. Can we please give the doctors a break. I am 29 now, and I was expecting to grow out of ADHD. I recently went off my meds, and I realized how grateful I am that they were around for my developmental years. If I didn't have the meds I would have just come to terms eventually that I am dumb. Today I know I am not dumb, and I have the patience with myself I deserve. I just have ADD/ADHD.
Also, parents, don't be so hard on yourself. This spring I had a talk with my friend, Linda. Her son has ADD/ADHD. It was obvious to me after observing me for 5 minutes. She was struggling with the decision to put him on meds. She attended some kind of support group for it. The woman running it asked her, "Would you be putting your son on meds because you are seeking relief from his problems?" Linda had to answer, "Yes." There was a part of her that was exhausted from her son's behavior. As someone with ADD/ADHD I had to assure Linda that her son was surely suffering, too. He is obnoxious and beliggerant (sp?), and looks like he is acting that way for his own enjoyment, but I can surely tell that he is suffering. He has no idea how to control his impulses, and I never could either. After I got on medication it was much easier.
On the self-esteem end of it, I have to say that my son's self-esteem is much better now that we realize what is going on with him and doing what we can to help. He is now able to accomplish things and in turn, have a higher self-esteem. Kids with ADHD that have parents in denial about it, have a low self-esteem because they get in trouble a lot and are labeled as "problem children". They aren't bad kids, they people who understand them and are open to different ways of treatment because the same treatment isn't right for every child.
My husband has ADHD as well as my now 20 year old step-son and my 9 year old son had ADD. I did not believe in medication when raising my step son and he struggled thru life, often even crying because he "couldn't be good like the other kids". Studies were very difficult for him because his lack of focus impaired him. He is now in and out of jail and still having a difficult life. With my 9 year old I decided to try Concerta and he has been doing so well. He used to get in fights at school because he had lack of impulse control, he now has the split second to think about acting on his thoughts. He was in third grade last year at a sixth grade reading level. I do not believe in Ritalin but I was open to trying Concerta. I started him on the minimum dose and at one time tried the next dose up, but put him back on the minimum dose . Deciding to put children on medication is not an easy fly by night decision, but it was the right desicion for my son. I appologized to my step-son from the deepest place in my heart for not trying him on medication. My disbelief in medication for children at the time my step son was a small child could be part of his present difficulties in his life. I know his choices are not all my fault, but if I had medicated him he could have focused on education long enough to have it as an option. ADHD is a real disorder and if you have trouble believing it just look at the fact that an amphetamine would have you up for days or doing housework for hours with a toothbrush, yet people with ADHD get relaxed. That must show something of the differences in our chemical make ups.
I agree with you read some of the posts here, it is reaching epidemic proportions apparently and its not that masses of children have ADD and AHDD its that it is being misdiagnosed for children you have ordinary Behavior problems.