Do I diagnose, medicate or let him be him.

[moelina]

My name is Stephanie and my son is Austin. Austin is a 10 year old boy who distributes all the signs of A.D.D and has for many years. I have always been against medicating him due to the fact my brother had A.D.H.D and I witnessed what he went thru and how much it changed him in a very negative way. I have tried controlling the A.D.D by diet and now that he's 10 and all over the place it's very difficult to control his eating. His behavior is out of control and of course it pushes me to my limit and I always feel like I am in a state of insane sanity with him. The amount of patients that it takes just to get him out the door to school is crazy and to be honest sometimes beyond me. I am now speaking to our family Dr. and have an apt shceduled for blood work and with a pschycologist to see what else is we can do to help him.  I know that he's struggling with feeling like he can never do anything right, he has a hard time making friends and I he's so smart and wont apply himself in school.  I am so cared to medicate him and question if I am doing the right thing.  I know that selfishly I would love for my home to more sane and not so chaotic.  I would love to see him more balanced and more focused at home and in school and for his behavior to more on an even keel so he would have an easier time with other children. I read about how the medications can be addictive and change them for the worse, and I would rather sacrifice all the sanity in this world than for him to be all doped up and not himself.  I dont want to see him calm at the risk of  losing him all together.  Somebody please help me. I am a mother just trying to make the right choice for my son that I love more than life itself.

[Sandman2]

It always darkest just before the dawn.  You still can succeed!  My last school principal at the middle school level was highly ADHD.  She also was highly successful because she realized what her shortcomings were and dealt with them (conversations with her got a little interesting because she kept switching subjects and you would have to keep pulling her back to the point - which makes me think that she was not on meds of any kind).  The point being she understood what was going on and almost always found a way to deal with it.  You can do the same!!!!!!   But you gotta know and understand what ADHD is - then you can deal with it.

[Darkestlight]

To tell u the truth I wish someone would have diagnosed me as a child. I would have succeeded so much more in life.

[Sandman2]

   The very simple answer is that medication can work and will seem like a miracle - and they won't.
    A lot can really depend on your doctor and the amount of time he spends working with your child.  You need a person who specializes in ADHD - not a GP that will prescribe and run.  The medications are all slightly different (and some that are a non-stimulant are very different) and react differently due to body weight and severity of ADHD.  
   There are a lot more options now then when your brother was dealing with ADHD and a lot more scientific evidence to help the doctors.
   I am not sure what you have been reading but scientific evidence has shown that kids who don't receive help are much more often to have problems in later life then those that do.  The medications are not addictive to a person with
ADHD, they are very addictive to a person who does not have ADHD. Remember that any medication you try, you can stop.
   I think the most important thing is to realize that the meds are not an end into itself.  How you work with or treat your son is equally important.  There are several good books out there that will help you will he is or is not on meds.  You might want to check out  "Driven to Distraction" by Hallowell, and "The Gift of ADHD", by Honos-Webb.   It is extremely important that your child realizes what is happening to him (and that it is not his fault).  Sometimes it takes a good psychologist to do this.
      I guess one thing I am saying is that (if you haven't already done so) you need to become an expert in ADHD.  One source that can get you started is  this article from the WebMD.  It seems fairly unbaised.
http://www.rxlist.com/attention_deficit_hyperactivity_disorder_adhd/article.htm
     It should be obvious to you that neither of you can continue to go on the way it is now.  It is certainly time for a change listen to the professionals - hopefully, it will get only better.   Good luck.  If you have any other questions - ask!!  And don't forget that there is also a medical forum with a doctor that specializes in ADHD that can also answer your questions.  She is very good.