Lying/Stealing

[lovesmybabies8]

My step-son is 12 years old and constantly lies and steals. He lies about stealing so he won't get into trouble even though we have told him he will not be in trouble if he just tells the truth. He was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 6 years old and then when he was 10 he was diagnosed with bipolar with psychotic tendencies. He's been on a ton of different meds, he's seen a ton of different therapists, all just trying to help him. Most therapists tell him and I that it's all because of ADHD, he can't help what he's doing. Is this what I have to look forward to the rest of his life? When is enough enough and he will start taking responsibility for his actions? He knows the difference between right and wrong... Last year the school made a referral to juvenile due to his actions. We have been seeing a juvenile officer for 7 months now. Any help is appreciated!

[Sandman2]

   There is a difference between a child with ADHD lying at 7 or 12 or 16.  As the child ages they do gain more control and the behavioral modifications should always fit the age and occasion.  There are little lies and big lies.  There is shop lifting and grabbing a pencil from a kid as you walk by.  It is not all the same thing.
   Here are two very good links on techniques to use with your son.
            http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/5705.html
           http://childrenwithadhd.net/the-truth-behind-your-childs-lies/

[MarkLakewood3367]

I agree with you!  Stop blaming ADHD for everything and have him begin taking responsibility for his behavior.  If he is seeing a therapist that is giving him the message that he doesn't have control over himself because of ADHD, it is time to look for another therapist!

What are you doing as far as discipline for these behaviors?  I would think this is where the focus should be.