My little Girl

[trtlhanmer]

I think my 6year old daughter may have ADD/ADHD.  I am a skeptic however my daughter displays all the 'classic' symptoms of the disorder.  She is restless, she cannot pay attention even if there is nothing going on, she argues everything, she picks and peels anything she can (ie. paint, wall paper, stickers etc), she puts her hands in our faces all the time, the list goes on and on.  I am willing to medicate but I want a true diagnosis, what should I do... she is exhausing me...

[theotterone]

I left you a note, but in fairness I need to say it here too:

I apologize if I reacted strongly or misinterpreted what you said.  I admit I get a little sensitive, especially with the battles my mom fought for her school kids.  (Got to admit, I was NOT at my best yesterday).  I appreciate your willingness to share your story and experiences so that others may learn from what you went through with your son.  I am truly glad he is doing so well and can only hope I do as well with my girls!  You share your gift of experience, and I am sorry if it seems I don't appreciate it.  I do!  You have helped me stop and think and research ALL possibilities for my kids, instead of "defaulting" straight to medication.  

You and Sandman are both blessings, and appreciate your willingness to share.

I will try not to be so cranky... ;o)

[Vako23]

Where in my post did I say that I believe all teachers should catagorized the same way? Where in any of my comments did seem that my concern was what my point of view  and not the children and parents that are having a hard time and have questions for parents like myself that have been through the same. That is why I am here, to help by telling my story, not to bash or blame teachers or to argue with other forum members that may have a different opinions than mine, Not everyone hear has had a bad experience,  and that is great, but I did, and so have many others.

I have not, nor will I ever claim to be an expert on the subject of ADHD, medication, teachers, or anything else for that matter so please do not twist my words into inaccurate statements.
And in regards to  Sandman, I was upset over many untrue and misinterpreted comments he had made towards me on other posts.  It was not just the one comment from him that I was responding to, ..

[Sandman2]

I said, " More importantly since schools can not prescribe medication.  Only Doctors can, and then only with the parents permission."  I never said you were made to do anything and if you took it that way I am sorry.

[theotterone]

Ok, so because you believe that ALL teachers are to be categorized the same way, Sandman doesn't have valid points?  Are the only valid points of view yours?

I WISH EVERY DAY that a teacher had the information then that they have now and realized what was going on with me!!!!  Then maybe I would not have spent 24 YEARS THINKING SOMETHING FUNDAMENTALLY WAS WRONG WITH ME!  Do you WANT a CHILD to go through that too?!?!?!?!  My Mother was an elementary school teacher for 36 years and still subs.  She FOUGHT for the EBD kids that were streamlined into her class.  She was one of the only teachers that would take them since they can be difficult.  She is still known as the B****of (Name Withheld) Elementary School because she fought for them and fought to have more TIME with them!  

Just because someone has a bad experience does not invalidate other's points of view.  I think Sandman was respectful.  Had I been more informed, I would be in a better place myself.  Now that I am I hope that I can help BOTH my daughters learn coping skills I never had myself.  But I wouldn't be able to do that if I didn't TRUST THE TEACHERS, THERAPISTS and DOCTORS!  I appreciate your point of view, though I realize you may not think so by this post, but I DO.  Why do you think I am trying the medication first, especially since I am diagnosed the same.  I not only want help that medication can give, but know how it affects me before I make any decisions about my daughter and medication.  Your point of view has helped me make the decision that I fully understand what can be used and how it would help my girls.  Sandman reinforces the fact that my girls' teachers are partners with me and on my side to help me raise my kids to be better coping, kind and caring adults.

[Vako23]

No wonder why you are so angry about the comments I have posted. You are looking at it from the teacher point of view and you are not hearing what I am saying, your just pulling out what you want. I never said I was made to do anything by a teacher or the school, read it again if you have to because you are putting words in my mouth and you obviously have no clue because you are to narrow minded to think of the kids that are being misdiagnosed and that is my main concern and my focus is that, not what is good for the teacher. Maybe you should stop responding to my comments if your not going to be respectful of others opinions, because that is what it is, my opinion, wrong, right, or indifferent. Do not reply to my posts with inaccurate responses please.

[Sandman2]

   Over 10 years ago the school your son attended may not have made a good decision.  More importantly since schools can not prescribe medication.  Only Doctors can, and then only with the parents permission, I find your rant against the school system upsetting.  They looked at a child and for some reason said this child is different then the other kids in the classroom.  They informed the parent and from there, it was out of their hands as far as medication goes.
   Now schools do try (at least in California) to include the special ed kids in the regular class rooms.  I know as I would have all of them in my science classes..  It is different at the elementary level and that still needs to be worked on.  There is absolutely no excuse for kids in special ed being teased and frankly the principal should be shot for letting that happen (assuming the parents bothered to let him/her know what is going on).
  I guess my point is that I have watched (or participated) in the system since the 70's.  I have watched us go from absolutely no information about ADHD to at least some kind of awareness.  I would hope that in the last 10 years the system has changed.  I know the medications certainly have.  So my point is (outside of the "quit bashing what happened 10 years ago"), don't be "naive" to the ADHD world.  There is now a tremendous amount of good scientific information out there.  Become informed and use that to educate people.

[Vako23]

I understand what your saying about the self esteem issues and kids feeling like they are different from the other children, like my son for instance, who, in my opinion never had ADD, but had a couple characteristics, and the immediate response from the school is ADD and medication. I understand  teachers have it tough with overcrowded classrooms, and that kids like my son, who do not fall into the black and white catagory of what "they" consider the norm, end up paying a huge price. There is no inbetween, which is so unfortunate, and the reason I bring this up is because my sons self esteem was horrible after I allowed the school to decide what was best for him, and I trusted them because I figured they knew what they were talking about, it was the worst decision I have ever made. My son knew he did not belong in the special ed classes, he felt that he was stupid and an outcast due to other children in regular classes that teased the special ed kids. So they basically take all the "non-norm" kids, throw them all together in a room, seperate from the rest of the students. Of course these kids are going to feel different, because the schools made them feel that way (normal children in one room and the rest in another) I bet if these educators had to experience the same thing as these kids do they would think twice about what message they are sending to these kids.

It is a difficult decision all the way around, especially when there is no way to prove the diagnosis of ADD. I wish there were more options for parents other than feeling pressured into medicating their child.  I totally agree that some kids absolutely need to be on meds, but if you look at the ADD explosion in the past 15 years, it is so obvious that diagnosis is a gold mine to the pharmaceutical companies, a cop out for the school system, and for some parents, well they would rather take the easy way out, but there are those parents like myself and many others  that were naive to the whole ADD world.

If it is only an attention issue with your daughter and nothing more, I would think that she may just be a hands on kid rather than a kid that can sit for hours reading a book, which I think most of us would rather learn interactively rather than learning from a book.
I had a few teachers that taught without books, and I learned the most from them and they always had my attention.

Sorry this was so long, as you can tell I am very passionate about this issue because some think that it is ok to give a controlled substance to a child that never needed it, and it changes them forever. Take care and I wish you and your daughter only the best.

[theotterone]

You do make a good point.  I would like to point out, though, while young, and she very well may grow out of the "hyperactivity" part, she could still have lingering attention issues.  I agree 6 is a little young, and I have not had my 6 year old checked out.  But on the flip side of that coin, I was told at age 10 I was NOT ADD, and have thought there was something wrong or I had character flaws.  My self esteem took a BIG hit and I had issues with depression and anxiety.  My 9 year old is having issues with attention and has been diagnoses ADD, but I am being the test run on medication before I even consider it for my daughter(s).  I guess that way I am lucky.

I am glad your son is doing well now! :)

[Vako23]

All I have to say is don't do it, do not medicate your daughter, she sounds like a normal 6 year old to me, and exactly like my son was at that age when I was told by the schools that he has ADHD. Some kids just need more stimulation than others, and your daughter is probably just more creative than most and needs more to keep her entertained. I know it is exhausting, believe me, I've been there. My son is now 17, he did outgrow his busy body ways, and is a wonderful young man.  please keep being skeptical, something is telling you that she is just being a kid, don't get sucked into the overly used and abused ADHD nightmare, because your daughter will be the one to suffer for it.

Just my point of view

[theotterone]

OK, just so I don't SEEM crazy, there was a post before my second one, but it was removed...

[Natalie25]

my 3 year old boy does the same exact thing i did not think of it as add/adhd ,everyone that i know says that he is to young to have that but i saw your question and i said wow this gotta be the same thing , i am now going to go and see if this is really what he has!! i hope all the best for ur daughter...

[theotterone]

Many believe as you do.

That being said, not every teacher recommends medication.  In fact, it is illegal for them to do so.  They do spend a lot of time with our children and notice things we don't always see since we are not with our kids for testing or all school work.

It is a disservice to say that teachers are using this as a cop out.  My daughter has issues completing homework and paying attention.  Is that due to my bad parenting?  The teacher's lack of teaching skills?

There has been an un named thing wrong with me all of my life!  Now that I know what it is I can do what I need to do to concentrate.  I am lucky, in a way, that I am now expirencing it and can be a "test subject" myself when it comes to medication.  Get ALL the information about medication, not just the negitive information.  Medication has by all means NOT gotten rid of my symptoms, I still have a lot to learn.  It HAS helped my focus at work and my anxiety.  I am not "Pro Meds" or "Anti Meds".  Everyone needs to do their own research and make their own decisions.

[theotterone]

When my 9 year old daughter's teacher told us that she thought our daughter was ADD, my first reaction was "no way!" (no hyperactivity, but attention issues).  I had been tested at 10 and they said I did not have ADD, and her issues were similar to mine.  We took her to a child/family psychologist.  The therapist had her teacher, my daughter and I fill out observation evaluations.  They were then scored.  The good news is that my daughter, while a little anxious, was not depressed.  However, the scoring of said evaluations showed she was ADD.  I talked to my psychiatrist about myself (and being tested at age 10) and my husband and I filled out CAAR evaluations about me.  Sure enough, I am ADD also.

Talk to her GP about your concerns.  Her doctor can then recommend a child psychologist (diagnosis and talk therapy) or psychiatrist (prescribing doctor who specializes in children's medication for mental health).  If her GP feels he is knowledgeable enough, he may handle the medication part.  If you can, a therapist helps not only with the child and her issues and gives her another trusted adult to talk to (our sees our therapist and we don't ask what was talked about, and take what recommendations the therapist offers).  My husband and I also see the therapist to talk about what we can do to help her and myself. My psychiatrist thinks it is great that we found the diagnosis now, so my daughter does not grow up thinking her ADD issues are character flaws like I did.  I was just put on medication and we are waiting to see how I react to them.  I think my 6 year old daughter is ADHD, but we are trying to get a handle on me and my oldest before we look at that.  We went from "absolutely no medication" to "lets see" approach.  

It is great that you are willing to see these issues and then seek help for them.  This will help your daughter, even if medication is not the right thing.  At least she won't grow up thinking some nameless thing is wrong with her, as I did!  Thank you for being a loving parent and willing to go down what can be an uncomfortable road!  

Remember, you have support here!
The Otter One (Alyssa)