Disciplining issues...please, need some advise...

[mommameahh]

I have a 4 yr old son who is my  youngest, He is a sweet natured child, plays well with other's, can easily make freinds but doesnt have any,  listens to anyone else and can be an adoring little boy in the company of other's who cares or spend time with him, but when it come to me and disciplining him, most of the time I'm always facing a challenging time. He's non stop yelling, always got to be center of attention daily, wherever we are, even when I'm calmly discipling him at eye level asking him or trying to get him to listen to stop banging the walls, throwing things around, not eating at the table during dinner throwing food water or juice all over the place, and hitting and just overall to behave. He's the total opposite from my older child  who he gets along well with, who can get him to listen but he refuses to listen to me for any timeouts. It has gotten out of hand of hearing him demading everyone and whining or crying for something he wants daily involving kicking and screaming at the top of his lungs in my ears to the point  that I might  go deaf soon. He's so destructive and constantly ruins toys or things in the home, I'd like to stop this behavioral problem before it progresses since he begins full time k school soon which I feel he's not ready for and makes it difficult for me to attend school and work or focus projects without waiting til hes asleep late at nights where I usually feel overtired and un-rested since birth. I am a single mom so they don't have any guidance from a father figure which makes my situation hard for me. Im not used to the challenges I face daily with him for my older son had not shown such behaviors or demanded such constant regular demands from me as my little boy does. Speech is slowly progressing, he is a bit lagging  behind and shows no interest at all in learning anything besides sometimes reading a book and fights me about it to the point of me giving in.

[Sandman2]

     From your description, it is hard to tell if he has something like ADHD or is just one of those "out-of-control" 4 year olds that is posted on the child behavior forum.
    Do try posting over there, there are many good answers over there.  One resource that I do suggest a lot is to get the book,  "SOS Help for Parents," by Lynn Clark.  I do think that it will be very helpful in your situation.  Also, the ideas by craft9 are valid.

[craft9]

I mean I did NOT medicate him.

[craft9]

I have a 21 year old son who was diagnosed with ADHD.  I did't medicate him.  I  took the holistic approach.  The best thing to bare in mind is structure.  A child with this condition needs routine and structure.  Eating, sleeping, playing at the same time everyday.  Early bedtime.  Avoidance of certain foods.  Particularly foods with red dye in it.  They don't like surprises and they are much calmer when they know how their day will go.  It may be hard to impliment this, but it is worth a shot and it worked for me. Also, giving choices helps too.  For instance, he can pick up his room or take a bath.  Go to the park or play on his bike.