Grandson's Behavior Problems

[MumMum2]

My grandson is 2 1/2 years old & has done things that I know are way beyond terrible 2 bahavior. Since he was around 1 or 1 1/2 years old, he has been destructive! It started with him dumping, spilling, knocking over anything that would make a huge mess. For instance, he would take a bag of chips & act like he was going to take some out of the bag, look at you standing right there, & dump the whole bag on the floor. Anything & everything that he gets his hand on is dumped on the floor. This has went on for 1 to 1 1/2 years. We put everything up out of reach now (or so we think) & no matter what he finds SOMETHING to spill! I have been watching him (since he was around 1 1/2) while his Mom & Dad works & by the end of the day I am so exhausted that I neglect my home! We used to take him every weekend (before they both started working) to give my daughter a break & by Sunday afternoon I was ready for him to go home & I'd be totally exhausted! When I started watching him Mon thru Fri from 7:45 to 5:15, I was so worn out that I couldn't take him on the weekends anymore. It was just way too much for me. It's non stop with him. From the time he gets here until the time he leaves he goes from one thing to the other & makes sure that anything & everything that he touches is on the floor. It takes me hours to get my house back to the way it was before he got here even though I clean up after him the whole time he's here. The other day he was here (& this is just one of many instances) & he went into the kitchen, grabbed my glass of pop on the table, took a drink, looked at the full glass & dumped it on the floor, sat the glass back on the table & walked back into the living room. Then while I cleaned that up he went into the living room, pushed everything off of the table (candles & all) & broke one of my candles. Later on I was sitting on the couch holding his little brother (he's 2 months old) he walked over & looked at my glass of pop sitting in front of me & I told him 'no don't touch it'! He looked at me & before I could grab it he slapped it off the table all over the floor! We tried spanking, time out, slapping his hands, putting him in his bed, sitting him down explaining what he's doing is bad, you name it, & NOTHING has worked! I need to know if anyone else is going through (or has went through) a child who does these things. I've told my daughter a million times that this is not normal terrible 2 behavior! There is something wrong with his comprehension or SOMETHING! He is very smart, knows & recognizes his ABC"S, talks in sentences, can even recognize small words (he watches a lot of Super Why) & has since he was about 1 1/2. I'm just at my wits end & don't know what to do! His Dad will be going back to work within a month & I will be watching both of my grandkids & I need help before then. I don't know that I can handle him (& his ways) along with a baby! I don't want to have my daughter put him into daycare for several reasons! 1. I'm scared that he will be mistreated because of his actions (if not right away, in due time) or get kicked out! 2. I'm scared that he will think I don't love him because I'm watching his brother & not him & that he may act out towards his brother! I would love to get some feedback because I would like to watch them both but my sanity as well as my health (I have a pacemaker) can't handle it..Any help would be greatly appreciated! Cheryl

[Sandman2]

Therese83 has a very good point, but its not so much getting addicted to excitement and just getting attention.  Either way - even if he has ADHD- you need to get good behavior management skills.  What therese is suggesting is just one of many techniques that can be used.  You can get many more from the child behavior forum

[therese83]

I think he is doing it for a reaction, I  really do.  I would say he is a very bright boy who has got into the habit of pushing for a negative reaction.
Some kids get addicted to this excitement, and yes a slap is excitement.  Do me a favour.  Try commenting on him in a positive way every 20 minutes, "I see you like sitting on that chair" any little comment like that.  then when he spills the milk just say,"There is no point in doing that , Nanna isnt going to react" then go back to the positive reinforcement + see what happens

Has he got lots of drawing paper + baby scissors, I would say he is ready for this, read him lots of stories.

Now you may think i am a crackpot, but i have seen this work. My son has completely turned around.  He may never be an angel, but you can modify him + he needs some of his spunkiness to get through this life.

Good luck to you

[Sandman2]

Hi Cheryl,
  I feel for you. You really need to copy and paste your entire message into the Child Behavior forum.  Good Luck!