SICK MIND

[KERRY_JTR]

Hey... when i realize my thoughts, i notice when i am tired or not in the straight mind...  i have sick thoughts. i have cured myself, and it is not a big deal anymore but iwoud love to hear w hy i have sick thoughts, horrible ones such as killing a baby, or thoughts of killing someone i love or perverted mind, i have a sick mind at times... Although it never interferes wih my real life, i am curious because it doesnt feel too good.  How did it develop? Does anyone know ? Please respond ASAP,thank u. o i have mild OCD and ADD,

[1centwiz]

It's the garbage in, garbage out theory. All the things you've seen in the world find a place in there to stay and annoy you. It's a circle of negativism that continues to roll around in your head, and yes, the more you try to rid yourself of it, the more you pay attention to it. Weird how that works...
I've heard voices in my head, like the little devil on one shoulder trying to get me to be bad, to hurt myself, to drive into another car or off a cliff. But then I have the angel on the other shoulder who is the rational side of reality and points out to me that there is no point in doing bad because I'm actually a good person. It's the classic good verses evil that live inside each one of us.
You didn't mention if you are religious or not, but for me knowing and believing the promises of God, that he will continue to work on me until the day of Christs return, has brought me through many tough mental moments.
I also chose a number of years ago to filter what I take into my mind in order to control what rattles around in there... so I do not watch the news or horror movies anymore. I also had to stop watching certain shows that had sexual situations in them as I was OCD about sex for a while too. I watch kids shows and game shows and try to stay away from situation drama unless it's comedy. I don't play war games but mind games that keep my memory sharp or ones that challenge my spelling, math or all the useless bits of knowledge I've collected over the years of reading everything that I see.
It's really helped me get the negative thoughts out of the forefront of my thought process. I also decided to look for the good in people and not pay attention to the bad. I just let it go as much as possible but if I feel like I'm having problems with them, I just tell them nicely that I don't feel that their actions were appropriate in the situation and that I find it unacceptable in my life. I had to leave a lot of really "good" friends because they were choosing to go down a road that I could not go with them on. Most of them now are all messed up on drugs and totally out of it, so I guess in the long run I made the better choice, but not before I tried to get them to follow me. It was their choice in the end and I'm the one who turned out to be successful and have something to show of my life.
Although our lives are not always easy, reaching out to others like you are now and helping others like we do here, make a lot more positive thoughts possible in our lives on a daily basis.
Bottom line is that if you want to get well, and you work the program, do what you need to do, then you will reap the benefits of a choice well made. If not, then you will be haunted by the bad thoughts that have consumed many and left dark holes in the lives of those that loved them at some time.
What path are you going to choose and are you willing to do the work it takes to stay on it?
Best of luck to you... keep coming back and continue to ask for help. You may not find all of the answers here, but maybe some of the answers you will get will help you re-program what is playing on the loop in your head... Cheers!

[April2]

I hear this is actually fairly common with people who have OCD. It's as though your mind finds something that scares you and fixates on that and because it does scare you and bother you so much you try to push it away but in doing so, you actually are paying more attention to it which only increases the thought in your mind. It's a vicious cycle. It actually is best if you ignore the thoughts and immediately fill your mind with something else, good thoughts. If you pay too much to the bad thoughts you make them stick around more. Does that make sense?
Stay busy, fill your mind with good things and pay no attention to the bad thoughts. Don't show fear, don't give power to these thoughts, just let them come in and out. Eventually, because you're able to dismiss the thoughts without reacting to them, they will disappear.
I used to have some scary thoughts when I became a new Christian and I found it helpful to quote comforting scriptures in my head or out loud. Out loud is best if you're alone. In time the thoughts went away. I wish you the best! Take care & God bless,
April