Is my son displaying typical 7 year old behavior?

[jdsr]

My 7 year old Son! (grade 2)
I often tell myself he will grow out of this and that it's because he's a boy, but you know when 3 people now have asked or made comments about my son I wonder if i need to turn off the blinkers and some how turn my husbands off too....
My Son would have to be the most loving child but certainly is a handful. I find myself battling with "should I seek help for him or am I just worrying too much?"  
Perhaps he is a normal 7 year old boy who behaves no different to his peers but I want to know if taking him to the doctors to be examined will only make it worse especially if there is nothing wrong..
My Son cannot sit still for too long, He has to annoy someone, his name is constantly being yelled out, he rushes his work at school (his writing is very hard to understand and yet he is very smart) He is silly alot of the times and friends of ours are constantly telling him off and becoming fed up with his behavior.. (mind you, there son has no personality and u can hardly get 2 words out of him)
my son hates sleeping in his own bed and will often end up in our room (made up bed on the floor for him ). He has just started to not wet his bed though he will have an accident now and then.
I find his teacher this year hates all the boys in the class and this makes me feel that perhaps it is just typical boy behavior....But the other day at a family outing, a lady asked me if my son suffers from some form of ADD?  I brushed the comment off and said "all the boys in his class are just the same, He's just a happy energetic child."
I find that as he his getting older he should be settling down more but it seems he is not and perhaps the other boys are starting to settle more so than he is and it worries me a lot, I am scared for him and deep down I know that he cannot control himself but really wants to....
Please help!!!!!

[margypops]

The phrase that stood out for me was"His Teacher hates all the boys in the class"and this is definatly not good and you and your husband and the other parents should address this problem,and speak to the Teacher and the Head Teacher,as the root cause could stem from this, how does the Teacher display this this hate, dont worry about anyone saying to you is your ADD it is simply that there is so much misdiagnosing going on that everyone who sees a child being exhubrant wants to put a label on it ,when very often it is the way the child is Naturally.I never knew in my long years with Children them sit still for too long, your friends arent too kind to be telling him off for his exhubrance, certainly if you are concerned your Doctor is the person to talk to, Go by your own gut feelings , dont worry what other people think.

[Sally44]

Are you concerned because you see that his behaviour is causing problems at school and with social interactions?
To give you a better idea of what ADD/ADHD is then I would suggest you google DSM IV for ADHD and read what the clinical criteria is for that to be diagnosed.
Not feeling comfortable at school (because of the teachers attitude) could be part of the problem.  But you say he is also like that out of school in other situations.
If you do feel you want your son to be assessed then you need to go to your GP or paediatrician and ask for a multi disciplinary team evaluation of your son.
It maybe that he has aspects of ADHD or not at all, or there could be other things causing the difficulties.  For example does he have any speech or communication problems.  Does he understand and can he follow verbal instructions.
You say his handwriting is very messy.  Does he know his letters and numbers.  Can he read and write.  All these things will give you a better idea of where the difficulty is if there is one.  For example my son is 7.5 years old and is very bright.  He is diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum.  He cannot grasp the concept of letters at all and so we will soon be looking at other ways for him to demonstrate learning apart from writing eg. voice recognition computer software etc.  My son maybe severely dyslexic, we don't know yet.  But my point is that if the intelligence is there then it is up to the school to help your son learn and demonstrate learning.
If he has these attention diffficulties then it needs to be discovered if it really is due to 'attention/focus' problems or maybe he has difficulties with Executive Functions for example.  If you cannot understand/follow classroom instructions then you are going to give the impression that you cannot pay attention when actually that is not the problem at all.  Do you understand what I am trying to say?
If medication is ever suggested I would seriously think about it before going ahead.  Personally I think the school/education should be adapted to fit the child and not the child medicated so that they can sit still in a classroom.  A 'typical' education is not the be all and end all.  Infact builders/electrician/plumbers etc all get paid better than degree students in the UK.  There are also many parents who post on this forum about medication side effects etc.  Remember these medications are not proven to do anything, each childs brain works differently and there is no studies into the long term effects of these drugs.
If you decide to take it further it will probably take a while before you get any answers, but if you have your doubts you can get the process started.  If your son does calm down with a different teacher/classroom then okay, if not then you are in the process of hopefully getting some kind of help for your child.
I would also say don't worry too much about 'a label'.  If your son gets a diagnosis of ADHD then specialist teachers should have a better idea of how to help him learn in a classroom environment.  Without a diagnosis he will still be given such labels as 'naughty/disruptive/lazy' etc by teachers/pupils/friends etc etc.  He will also judge himself which could lead to low self esteem.  I think it is better for everyone to be in the picture and postive about the strengths the child has and put structures in place to support him in any areas of difficulties he has.

[jdsr]

hi
im the husband of the wife concerned about 7 year old. yes i can see some aspects of 'full on' behavior but...i find it hard to sit still at the best of times. im not a tv person so id rather do something...even if im tired. yes his teacher isnt good and i think its def part of prob. he is somewhat ambidextrous, so to me that explains his left hand, hand writing. he is hard work, but he's not. i know that is somewhat ambiguous, but i think all kids are hard work, at some stage. He is loving and affectionate. he doesnt smash or demolish things. the few people that have said "oh he's add" like their kids to sit, be quiet and leave us alone. both my wife and i do and share lots with our kids, but i do know the parenting job, was def not meant to be easy, or predicatble.

[margypops]

That was a great Post and how happy I felt on reading it, you have a handle of the aspects  for your son, and you are right,my husband writes and does a lot with his left hand and is ambidextrous , no one told him or even suggested (a few years ago) he had a Disorder at anything, The problem is that so many other Parents(not all) really need an excuse for poor Parenting skills and actually if they would say to them selves "I am handling this all wrong and took advice ,they would be able to see it was the way they dealt with Parent/child interaction. He sounds to me a great Guy with Parents , both with a caring attirude, read all the other Posts we get, its very interesting and quite an eye opener. Good Luck

[margypops]

PS just a thought perhaps keep an eye on how he does with the Teacher who Has "some difficulty" with the Boys in the class, for the sleeping it wouldnt hurt if you were consistant in telling him to sleep in his own bed and sticking to it., he will if you stick to and do not listen to the people with problems they just want to share it !