depression and adhd

[Samborina]

My son has always been a unique child.  He is nine years old and was diagnosed with adhd when he was six.  He has some conversation issues especially when it comes to other children.  He will talk for long amounts of time about science topics without noticing that the other person wants out of the conversation.  He begins many conversations with a statement such as, " I know how air pressure works"  Then he will talk about it without pausing.  Now that he is older he has noticed that the other students have tight friendships and he doesn't.  He is very sad about this fact and has even said things like what is the point of being smart if I can't have friends or I wish I was someone else.  He is a very kind boy, but every social stride he has made in his life has been a struggle.  He was tested for Asperger's, but the doctor said that wasn't it because he was outgrowing some of the signs.  I am not sure what steps to take next to help him.

[Sandman2]

   I disagree a bit here.  Intelligence does matter simply because it allows a kid with ADHD to skate by in school.  Kids who should be getting A's, get B's and C's, and everybody says thats cool.  Or if they have really good intelligence, they can go through most of middle school (usually Algebra does them in), until it becomes too much.   The problem is by now, psychological damage has been done.  They also have missed some of the building blocks they need for later on - and many times their life has been kind of miserable.
    I would suggest that both you and your son read a book by a UC Berkley honors student about growing up with ADHD.  The book is  called - "ADHD and Me,  What I learned from lighting fires at the dinner table," by  Blake Taylor.  It will give you a different look at the whole situation.
   Finally, I think you need to do a little research into what ADHD means and how it can affect people.  The best thing that you (and eventually your son) can do, is to become an expert in this field.  This will not go away.  You need to know as much as possible about this.   A good, non biased starting point is this link from webMD.   http://www.rxlist.com/attention_deficit_hyperactivity_disorder_adhd/article.htm    
    Good luck

[maler]

You are right in that all kids are diferent, Not that his charachter of who he is changes, But that he learns to cope.  In school I could never cope. I felt like I was trapped in another world Alienated!     I am not your avarage intelegent kid. I did not excel with phd,s later.   but whether a kid is intelegent or not has nothing to do with it!  

For myself:  Realizing who I am and working that into this world was the key.  Studying alone when possible or with one on one help was another key. Studying at my own speed without outside interfierence the third key and so on.    Its not about adjusting to the world as I tried to do as a kid.  Its about adjusting to ones self. Knowing what your weakneses and strengths are. Never looking at people as if you have to compete against them. The competition is not about them its about mastering yourself.  

Today I can look at my adhd as a gift even with its negatives there are positives too if you look hard enough!   half the chaos by doubling the order!

[therese83]

He is going to grow out of all of this.  He is exactly like my son, who is now a very sociable (a far better social life than me) young man.

My son has a very high IQ, when the intelligence is so high the social skills often lag behind.  This is perfectly acceptable. Not all children develop in the same way, fir into the box can be a 'brick in the wall'

Gently lesson are all that he needs, like say, listen now it is someone elses turn to speak.  He cant help it at the moment.  But he will learn by experience.

My son is going to study medicaine and I really believe that everyone has a place on this world.  I am sure that my son will do something great, he has a very unusual way of thinking and can see connections that other people cannot see.

Love him, adore him and keep building up his confidence, he probably feels that he doesnt fit in and cant see why.  Reassure him and help him with self esteem issues.  It is up to the school to differentiate in the work and strech him, keeping him satisfied.

Many friends who have PHD's were like this as kids.  Do not let anyone put him down!

I wish him the best.

[maler]

I do see the point in getting him involved with other kids with same interests, But at the same time when I look back in time to when I was a kid I can remember me at school being exactly as this kid is and for me that was a living nightmare.    One one side I drove freinds I made away because of constant talking and other adhd related stuff.   That in turn makes you wan to reach out more and try and find other freinds, Even to mix with the wrong crowd if it makes you feel accepted? But that was not true for long either.That in turn after years maybe makes you do the complete opposite.   I stayed in my bedroom for months on end after school because I was afraid to go speak to someone, So I spoke to myself instead.  (luckily I never answered myself back :)  

if I had to do it all over again I would join only clubs that did phisical activities. I was not great in those areas either, But there are many positions in sport that don,t require you to be superman.   it tires me out,keeps me healthy and keeps my mouth shut more often!    An other alternative would be to find others who have similar problems, But I am not sure if thats smart either?  I mean do we want to get together with people who are like ourselves?  All talkative and next to no patience???    

I meet with a group now mostly for advice, But anything other than that hardly likely!  

  

[Six56]

has he taken any type of gifted testing. Many gifted children have social issues, and he sounds like many kids I know.
Personally I think that the social side of school and work is extremely important because you should want to be their, and having friends there can really help.
You should try to get him involved in some type of school activities he is interested in like some type of science club or something were there is likely to be other kids their with the same interests as him.
You shouldn't push meeting friends on him to hard, because if he gets to the point where he would do anything for some friends, he could get involved with the wrong crowed, and get pulled in to some bad situations by peer pressure.