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7 yr old boy school behavior
My 7 year old son just recently changed schools in December. He is continuously getting in trouble for talking, not getting his class work done and being silly. I have never had this issue before! My son says that his teacher does not help him and explain to him the class assignments. I have punished him for his behavior, I have broken down and cried in front of him! I am stressed to the max! Every day before I drop him off at school I beg him to be good. He is a good kid at home, although he may have focus issues he is not disrespectful. I do not know what to do. His teacher is saying maybe he has add, this is the first teacher that has ever said this. Please help me!!!
COMMUNITY LEADER
Oh, it's ok to say how did your day go, and, that's too bad - not a good decision to make. What could we do differently next time. Let's practice that, etc.
Hopefully, a lot of this is just being the new kid. But do keep an eye out for him being frustrated with school work.
Good luck!
Hopefully, a lot of this is just being the new kid. But do keep an eye out for him being frustrated with school work.
Good luck!
Thanks for all of the responses!!! They are helpful. Anthony had a great day all around at school yesterday! He ate lunch with the counselor and told me that they spoke together and "everything is straighten out" lol..He's so funny. I am hoping and praying that maybe their converstaion sent him in the right direction. I read somewhere else not to punish him at home for his actions in school. I guess it didnt make sense bc I felt as if I was saying it is ok to misbehave in school. I will have to change that then!!
COMMUNITY LEADER
Ok, thanks for the info - it does help.
First thing is something that comes up a lot and that is punishing a child for their actions at school. At this age, it just doesn't work, as you have found out. Main reason is that at this age, the consequences have to be immediate to be effective, and only the school can have immediate consequences. What you can do at home is to work on certain behaviors that he can learn and carry over to school. But you need to stop punishing him for what he is doing at school. And given that this all is very new to him - I think it could even be making the situation worse.
He really needs to associate school with good feelings. And he needs to come home and get some understanding after a tough day. What you can do is to work with him on not talking out or interrupting up home. You can also buy the book, "know and follow rules" . It is part of a set of books meant to be read out loud to the 4 to 7 year old child and then talked about and practiced. It can found here.
http://www.amazon.com/Follow-Rules-Cheri-Meiners-M-Ed/dp/1575421305/ref=pd_sim_b_4
And there are other excellent books listed below on the same page.
Rockland had a great idea about visiting the school to watch him. I recommend it highly. Something is going on between this year and last year. Its a good chance that its just the fact he was in K last year which was probably pretty non academic - thus the difference in teaching styles, etc. But, you also need to get a feel for the dynamics of the class. Does the teacher have control, is super controlling or lacks control? When does he act silly? Is he just being a typical 7 year old trying to make friends since he is the new guy? In fact, trying to get a few weekend play dates going with him and a friend might be very helpful.
As far as ADD goes - wellllll? Well, there are a few other factors going on. I do understand you not having been told before. A kindergarten teacher would find that hard to pick up (thanks again for answering my question on his age and grade). Being the new kid, the discipline style of the teacher, the move to a new school all can have an effect. Even things like the amount of sleep. Lack of sleep can really mess up a child of this age. Moving from Florida with much more daylight hours (where I am guessing he might have been used to going to bed later (?)) to PA where the days are shorter can make a difference.
But the fact that the teacher mentioned ADD would indicate that she has some experience with this. And you did mention he has some focus issues. How does he do with homework at night for example?
All in all, we/you need more information.
This is an excellent site for information on ADD.
http://www.help4adhd.org/en/about/what/WWK8
and I have tons more info on working with the kids, etc.
But your first step is to find out what it is through the link above. Then to visit the school so you can see what is going on. Also think about his sleep habits (just in case). And, of course, stop punishing for school behavior and start working on behaviors at home that can carry on over to school.
Oh, by the way - at this age I wouldn't expect daily progress reports from his teacher. That really just adds a lot of unnecessary stress to all involved. As an elementary school principal, I did not like it when the teachers sent home little red/yellow slips, etc. I always felt that as a teacher you need to immediately deal with the problem. Once you figure out what is going on, then more communication is important.
I hope this helps. Please keep us posted. Best wishes!
First thing is something that comes up a lot and that is punishing a child for their actions at school. At this age, it just doesn't work, as you have found out. Main reason is that at this age, the consequences have to be immediate to be effective, and only the school can have immediate consequences. What you can do at home is to work on certain behaviors that he can learn and carry over to school. But you need to stop punishing him for what he is doing at school. And given that this all is very new to him - I think it could even be making the situation worse.
He really needs to associate school with good feelings. And he needs to come home and get some understanding after a tough day. What you can do is to work with him on not talking out or interrupting up home. You can also buy the book, "know and follow rules" . It is part of a set of books meant to be read out loud to the 4 to 7 year old child and then talked about and practiced. It can found here.
http://www.amazon.com/Follow-Rules-Cheri-Meiners-M-Ed/dp/1575421305/ref=pd_sim_b_4
And there are other excellent books listed below on the same page.
Rockland had a great idea about visiting the school to watch him. I recommend it highly. Something is going on between this year and last year. Its a good chance that its just the fact he was in K last year which was probably pretty non academic - thus the difference in teaching styles, etc. But, you also need to get a feel for the dynamics of the class. Does the teacher have control, is super controlling or lacks control? When does he act silly? Is he just being a typical 7 year old trying to make friends since he is the new guy? In fact, trying to get a few weekend play dates going with him and a friend might be very helpful.
As far as ADD goes - wellllll? Well, there are a few other factors going on. I do understand you not having been told before. A kindergarten teacher would find that hard to pick up (thanks again for answering my question on his age and grade). Being the new kid, the discipline style of the teacher, the move to a new school all can have an effect. Even things like the amount of sleep. Lack of sleep can really mess up a child of this age. Moving from Florida with much more daylight hours (where I am guessing he might have been used to going to bed later (?)) to PA where the days are shorter can make a difference.
But the fact that the teacher mentioned ADD would indicate that she has some experience with this. And you did mention he has some focus issues. How does he do with homework at night for example?
All in all, we/you need more information.
This is an excellent site for information on ADD.
http://www.help4adhd.org/en/about/what/WWK8
and I have tons more info on working with the kids, etc.
But your first step is to find out what it is through the link above. Then to visit the school so you can see what is going on. Also think about his sleep habits (just in case). And, of course, stop punishing for school behavior and start working on behaviors at home that can carry on over to school.
Oh, by the way - at this age I wouldn't expect daily progress reports from his teacher. That really just adds a lot of unnecessary stress to all involved. As an elementary school principal, I did not like it when the teachers sent home little red/yellow slips, etc. I always felt that as a teacher you need to immediately deal with the problem. Once you figure out what is going on, then more communication is important.
I hope this helps. Please keep us posted. Best wishes!
Hi angel!
I just caught your post and I'm sorry you're running into some difficulties with your son's behavior at school. I know that can be frustrating as a parent to try and get to the bottom of this when you can't see for yourself what's happening. So, along with the great advice Mark offered, I wanted to suggest that maybe it would be helpful to sit in on your son's classes and just observe him. Maybe that will help you get a better idea of what's going on and how to respond. Of course, getting some input from the school counselor or getting your son tested may help to know what direction to go here. It also may be worthwhile to talk with your pediatrician about what's going on. They may be able to help you know whether to pursue your son's teacher's comments about ADD. So, just a couple thoughts to consider. In the meantime, hang in there-my prayers are with you!
I just caught your post and I'm sorry you're running into some difficulties with your son's behavior at school. I know that can be frustrating as a parent to try and get to the bottom of this when you can't see for yourself what's happening. So, along with the great advice Mark offered, I wanted to suggest that maybe it would be helpful to sit in on your son's classes and just observe him. Maybe that will help you get a better idea of what's going on and how to respond. Of course, getting some input from the school counselor or getting your son tested may help to know what direction to go here. It also may be worthwhile to talk with your pediatrician about what's going on. They may be able to help you know whether to pursue your son's teacher's comments about ADD. So, just a couple thoughts to consider. In the meantime, hang in there-my prayers are with you!
He is in 1st grade and his birthday was just on Jan 4th. The school is completely new to him. We came from a school in Florida to one here in PA. I reward him with small things when he is good and I ounish him when he acts out. It does not seem like it even phases him. I never had this issue..
Thanks a lot Mark! I did speak to his teacher yesterday and she advised me that she was going to speak to the counselor and see if she has any suggestions. I have tried everything. I have also asked the teacher to update me daily but that never happens. I can not get full communication from his teacher. I basically got a little stern with the teacher yesterday so I am hoping I can get better results from her. My son is a good kid, just an ordinary boy. I do not know what is causing him to act out like this!!!
I have a couple of recommendations for you:
1) It sounds like you have spoken to the teacher regarding your son's behavior. However, I'm not sure which format was used to speak to the teacher. I would strongly recommend meeting with the teacher for a conference. I also strongly recommend that your son be present and provide input during this conference. This will help your son understand the importance of the situation as well as help him understand the specific behaviors that are being called into question. Also, this will allow your son the opportunity to explain his concerns regarding his teacher. Open communication is always best when resolving these type of conflicts.
2) You should maintain daily communication with the teacher so that you could discipline and/or reward your son for daily school behavior.
3) You should have your son evaluated for ADHD. The school psychologist should be able to provide this service to you at no cost. However, it might be better to have a child evaluated by a child psychiatrist in the event that medication is recommended. At least, this will rule out whether or not your son has ADHD.
1) It sounds like you have spoken to the teacher regarding your son's behavior. However, I'm not sure which format was used to speak to the teacher. I would strongly recommend meeting with the teacher for a conference. I also strongly recommend that your son be present and provide input during this conference. This will help your son understand the importance of the situation as well as help him understand the specific behaviors that are being called into question. Also, this will allow your son the opportunity to explain his concerns regarding his teacher. Open communication is always best when resolving these type of conflicts.
2) You should maintain daily communication with the teacher so that you could discipline and/or reward your son for daily school behavior.
3) You should have your son evaluated for ADHD. The school psychologist should be able to provide this service to you at no cost. However, it might be better to have a child evaluated by a child psychiatrist in the event that medication is recommended. At least, this will rule out whether or not your son has ADHD.
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