why is my 8 yr old out of control

[stephnkids]

why is my 8yr old so out of control. lets see she was diagnosed when she was 5yr old at a big universirty hospital near chicago. we went through different places and didnt do meds for a year. we did counseling and that was ok. now we have been on tenex for 3 yrs and it seems to have stopped working. we see psycatrist every 3months and alll he wanna do is change meds but i wont let him. she was diagnosed with mild tuerets as well so we cant take adhd meds. lately she has become a angry and violent person. she beats herself up, throws and breaks things, and just freaks out on me daily. she has same routine, off school at 3pm starts fighting and screaming shes starving and wants to go to grandmas ect. i tell her to help clean the house and she wont move she cries and throws things. it gets worse daily. im now on meds for depression and my 3yr old is starting to act like her its hard. does anybody know what i can do to help change her? i called big brother big sister program and she getting setup with that but i need some at home help. i work 2 jobs and get home in the afternoon and all hell breaks loose. somebody please give me advise, websites, books anything to help

[dollyn]

Oh and I forgot to put this child has  aspergers syndrome.

you may want to look it up.

my son has seizures and he doesn't always seem to know what he is doing .I would think they would have your daughter on something for seizures .and most people who have seizures have a hard time learning and controlling them self  when they are young.

[dollyn]

I am sorry you are going threw this.

1.Dose your Daughter have Friends.

2.Dose she have a Concealer at School she can talk to ?

3. Do you give her Vitamin B6 and Omega 3-6-9 Vitamins daily?

All these thing would help her and you.

Most states have what they call respect care for family's to help them with people who are sick .They send someone to take care of your child for you so you can do things that you need to do and give you a break.  You should look into this.We have this for my son and we get 35 hours a month if we need it.

I know a child who has what your daughter has and one of the school teacher came up with an idea to take a few of the children once a week and let them have lunch in the class room and play games together with other children since her Daughter feel's like no one likes her to try and help her.And she had then add counseling with the school counselor back to her IEP witch she didn't know was ever taken off of it from last year.

this girl gets mad to and I try and talk to her like I would any other child when she tries to walk away from things or handles things poorly. I have told the Mother I don't think all the drugs they are and have been trying to give her helps her any.And this little girl turns things around so when you say something to her sometimes she takes it the wrong way,and even I have to go back and make sure she understand what I am saying so she things I am not being mean or hurtful to her.

[benjimom]

Yes, maybe some downtime would be good. Sometimes after school I take my son to the library, it's relatively quiet and a calming environment there.  

It is hard and it sounds like you are a single mom, everything falls on your shoulders. It's REALLY tough!

[specialmom]

This is just a parenting suggestion not related to add/adhd or tourettes.  After school, kids are really tired.  It is a long day and if a child has other issues that they are trying to control such as her tourettes or add/adhd . . .  it is even more exhausting.  Home is that safe place to fall into.  She should be able to come home and have a nice snack.  She should be allowed to relax and wind down.  I think an expectation to clean the house is a bit much.  Of course, she would like to do something more fun and relaxing than that.  So I'd give her some time and then have clean up time later.  Just my thoughts.  I'm not suggesting she have no responsibility but that you change your timing for it and that she be cut some slack that she is still a child and works twice as hard as other kids during her school day just to hold it all together.  goodluck

[Sandman2]

  The most important question is does she become this angry and violent person only with you?  or also at school?
  If it is only happening with you, than she is somewhat in control of her actions.  Don't blame her.  Best  resource appears to be,"  Lynn Clarks' book SOS: Help for Parents.
  If it is also happening at school than the meds aren't working.  If this is happening at school you need to make sure she is tested for special ed.  Even if she doesn't qualify, she will qualify for a 504 which will help protect her and inform teachers how to work with her.
Also, you said the psyc wants to change meds.  There are other ADHD meds that are not stimulants.  It is possible that he wants to try those.  Lets face it, your hands are kinda tied.  You need to start trying something else.  Find out what he wants to try and than research that med.  There is a ton of stuff on line. So there should be little surprises.  
  The best (and fastest read) book I have found for how to work with ADHD  kids is, "The ADD/ ADhD Answer book." , by Susan Ashley.  You will get a lot of ideas on how to work with kids at home - if this is also her problem.  Good Luck and if you have any other questions, please post!