How can I make Attorney understand he LIES?

[Lahayle]

I was married to a narcissistic man for 30 yrs.  He emotionally, verbally, mentally, psychologically abused me.
Well, then it became physical.
He cheated on me. Divorce he asked for he got.  Yet, since I am disabled and can not work I got spousal maintenance.  Now?  He owes back pay of 578.00 dollars plus 251.00 dollars a month is his amount he suppose to give.  Well, I found out he Lied to the Judge and my Attorney about his job.  He is full time.  I found out, and told my

attorney.  The thing is "She made a proposal."  I am only going to receive 258.00 dollars, being adding the 7.00 dollars
for back pay.  He has the money.  I don't.

The proposal I received Saturday.  I sent my attorney an email with all the correct phone numbers she needed

to find out he is Full Time, and makes 18.00 an hour.  He gets paid weekly.  I feel as though he is still "In

Control" of me.  I feel re victimized!!  Should I call my Attorney?  Set an appointment time?  I am not signing
this "proposal".

My ex's mate sent me a check in the amount of 258.00 dollars.  Should I go see my Attorney?  What do I say?

Help needed thanks

[katarina777]

Sorry this is happening to you. It's a good thing some of us know what a 'narcissistic guy' can really be like, especially one who is a 'malignant narcissist'. It's almost worse than getting killed.

One thing I want to just remind you off is the following. Judges, and lawyers and even therapists tend to be fooled by these people a lot, and if you get emotional and angry, you are the one to blame and the unstable one.

Be very careful about this, and yes, make sure you have a lawyer who is really your advocate as much as can be. (and which will be hard to find, perhaps)

I really wish you the best. Kat

[Catharine78]

I second what rj said.
If u cash(ed) it, thats sort of like accepting his terms
Sick your lawyer on him and stick with it...its never an overnight thing...but esp if the one you're going after is an atty.

[RJ233]

I forgot but, I don't know that I would cash that check either. Sometimes when you cash a check it means you accept what they are giving you. Tell your Attorney it is unacceptable. Hold on to it until you know it is safe to cash it without harming what you are suppose to get. I just thought about it, you have to go before the Judge to change anything. Have the lawyer request his paystub info and when he started his job from the employer. Take it before the Judge. He has to enter any changes. Then I would request it to be payroll deducted and it will be sent to you by his employer. When he started his job per the employer will show the Judge he lied about not working and the paystub will show how much he averages a week, just in case he makes some type of bonus. RJ

[RJ233]

My son is trying to divorce a woman with the same mental problem. I never thought a human being could be that way. I can sure relate to what you are dealing with. Call that Attorney and say I gave you the information, don't be setting up any agreements. This is what I want, and if he doesn't want to do it, lets go in front of the Judge. That Attorney can Subpoena those records from his employer. Remind her she works for you. If she doesn't want to do her job, get one that will. Be sure to ask for court costs and attorney fees if you go back to court. I would also write a complaint to the Bar Association. Don't sign anything. That is what has gotten my son in a lot of trouble.

[teko]

Does he work under the table?  If not he is paying taxes and should be easy enough for your attorney to check on.  It sounds like you need a new attorney as well. Yes, I can see where you would feel victemized all over again. I would not sign either. If your attorney is not working for you, find a new one and take it back to court, after getting all the necessary paperwork first.

[pinkbelle]

First off I say get another attorney.. sounds like the one you have isn't working for your best interests.. and I say you proposition the court for an income evaulation which he would have to turn in a month worths of pay stubs... support is suppose to be based on income of both parties..

[Amphitrite]

I agee with anna call your attorney. It sounds like you've given her all the resources you ahve to find out if he sis infat lie to the judge and your attorney and if he did, the judge will not be haooy about ut.

Did she make th eproposal based off of the information that he wasn't working full time?
I'm guess ing so since she is your advocate.

I don't know much about this sort of thing but my advice would be (and remember I know little) to find out first if he;s kying as then he will have to pay the full amount he was ordered to pay to begin with.

But your obviously not working now and have no income so need to rely on that money. So the soomer you can talk to your attorney the better.

Also I agree with anna to write down what happened during the marriage in regards to the abuse and a timeline.

Sorry I couldn;t be of more help. But it sounds like anna knows more about what your saying so if you need any more help please feel free to ask for it.

I'm sorry for what your going through, it sounds really stressful and hurtfull and especially your still feeling lik ehe is controling you.
I wish I had an easy answer for you

[AnnaE]

Yes, call her and get an appointment. I know what narcissists are like.
You might also write a brief summary of the abuse, accompanied by a timeline. If you need more support, write back.