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Any parents of heroin addicts here?
Hello,
I am a mother of an 18 year old daughter who is addicted to heroin.
She, like many others, started out on oxycontin. When she became immune to the higher doses of oxy., she started snorting heroin. Of course, I had no idea she was using until I found out by accident after she had been doing it for many months. We immediately put her into inpatient rehab. We could only get a total of 18 days inpatient and a total of 4 months outpatient covered by insurance and other available services.
We thought she was doing well, and she of course, learned to hide it very well. If I hae learned anything from this whole horrible experience, addicts are devious, amazing liars. She managed to pull the wool over not only OUR eyes, but the outpatient counselors eyes as well! We just found out the other day that she relapsed and is now shooting heroin for 3 months.
Finding this news out is both devistating, and hurtful to me and my husband. We feel we have given her all the love and support, counseling, and treatment we could. We even started trusting her again, which I thought I would never do! How could she do this to us???!!! I understand it's the drug that is more enticing than pleasing your family, but the hurt is overwhelming.
We put her in detox and this is only day 3 for her right now.
I wondered if there are any other parents out there who can share their feelings, frustrations, and stories with me.
Thanks.
I am a mother of an 18 year old daughter who is addicted to heroin.
She, like many others, started out on oxycontin. When she became immune to the higher doses of oxy., she started snorting heroin. Of course, I had no idea she was using until I found out by accident after she had been doing it for many months. We immediately put her into inpatient rehab. We could only get a total of 18 days inpatient and a total of 4 months outpatient covered by insurance and other available services.
We thought she was doing well, and she of course, learned to hide it very well. If I hae learned anything from this whole horrible experience, addicts are devious, amazing liars. She managed to pull the wool over not only OUR eyes, but the outpatient counselors eyes as well! We just found out the other day that she relapsed and is now shooting heroin for 3 months.
Finding this news out is both devistating, and hurtful to me and my husband. We feel we have given her all the love and support, counseling, and treatment we could. We even started trusting her again, which I thought I would never do! How could she do this to us???!!! I understand it's the drug that is more enticing than pleasing your family, but the hurt is overwhelming.
We put her in detox and this is only day 3 for her right now.
I wondered if there are any other parents out there who can share their feelings, frustrations, and stories with me.
Thanks.
Deb,
I just can't get how sick he looked out of my mind. I just wanted to grab him and take him to the hospital and tell them to help him. I wanted to run away with him and take him somewhere so he couldn't get drugs for a month and see if I could get my son into a safe place where he could see through clear eyes. I thought about taking him away on a cruise across the Atlantic where he might be sane wen we got off the dock in London. It sounds funny and I sort of laughed about that one because it was such an absurd solution.
I know I sound like a crazy woman but I am sick with grief over what he is doing to himself.
I am able to cope as long as I stay occupied with my daughters and my grandchildren. When things get slow and quiet, that is when I go to dark places.
I will try to stay busy the rest of the week. I can pull myself out of this but it is always there occupying at least 20 percent of my mind and 100 percent of my heart.
I know you understand....
I just can't get how sick he looked out of my mind. I just wanted to grab him and take him to the hospital and tell them to help him. I wanted to run away with him and take him somewhere so he couldn't get drugs for a month and see if I could get my son into a safe place where he could see through clear eyes. I thought about taking him away on a cruise across the Atlantic where he might be sane wen we got off the dock in London. It sounds funny and I sort of laughed about that one because it was such an absurd solution.
I know I sound like a crazy woman but I am sick with grief over what he is doing to himself.
I am able to cope as long as I stay occupied with my daughters and my grandchildren. When things get slow and quiet, that is when I go to dark places.
I will try to stay busy the rest of the week. I can pull myself out of this but it is always there occupying at least 20 percent of my mind and 100 percent of my heart.
I know you understand....
I'm on the phone with my insurance company....this drug is covered. Any bad news regarding it? I'll check back.
Awww, I wish I could hug you right now.
If hes not ready for help, nothing you do or say will change his mind, hes going to need to do this his way, Im so sorry.
You Need to take care of you, ok
did you check into any type of support ?
I know there are some support groups on line, the more the better right now.
Please don't isolate...force yourself into life
I know there is little comfort in these words, but the slide you see in him, it happens to all our kids that wont except help, before they hit bottom.
Did you see despiratedads post above ? The vivitrol shot ?
You can still text your son right ?
Send him the link www.vivitrol.com.
You look it up too, do a search to see if its offered near you...and get that information to him.
If its in his text messages...he just might look at it in a desperate moment
Please don't give up hope
Honey, the fall happens when we think they are too far gone.
I know how devastating this is...we want instant results, were only human. Its going to take time, painful time, please don't let him pull you with him.
Try to distance yourself, seeing him now will destroy you...it already is.
You were doing ok, when he was out of sight...try to let that happen again.
Don't let yourself go low...He will NEED you, when hes ready.
If the forum is hard to come to, send a message...Im here for you
If hes not ready for help, nothing you do or say will change his mind, hes going to need to do this his way, Im so sorry.
You Need to take care of you, ok
did you check into any type of support ?
I know there are some support groups on line, the more the better right now.
Please don't isolate...force yourself into life
I know there is little comfort in these words, but the slide you see in him, it happens to all our kids that wont except help, before they hit bottom.
Did you see despiratedads post above ? The vivitrol shot ?
You can still text your son right ?
Send him the link www.vivitrol.com.
You look it up too, do a search to see if its offered near you...and get that information to him.
If its in his text messages...he just might look at it in a desperate moment
Please don't give up hope
Honey, the fall happens when we think they are too far gone.
I know how devastating this is...we want instant results, were only human. Its going to take time, painful time, please don't let him pull you with him.
Try to distance yourself, seeing him now will destroy you...it already is.
You were doing ok, when he was out of sight...try to let that happen again.
Don't let yourself go low...He will NEED you, when hes ready.
If the forum is hard to come to, send a message...Im here for you
Themother53,
I am so sorry for your broken heart as well. I know that we can't fix them. I know it has to begin with them. I get all that mentally.
But emotionally the standing by and letting it play out is excruciatingly painful for all of us.
I know that all my love and support for the past two plus years didn't do anything to change my son's addiction. I know I was loving him to death on my watch under my roof. That is why he had to go.
But when I saw him yesterday and I saw how thin he is....it terrified me. I actually think he could die of starvation.
I just have to trust that he will find a moment of clarity where he will realize he needs to grab on to the lifeboat and get the hell out of the deep water. That is the only thing I have to hold on to today because I don't see anything else encouraging right now.
Let's try to get through this place together. Everyone on here has been so supportive and I feel like they are ahead of us with flashlights to show us the way.
I am so sorry for your broken heart as well. I know that we can't fix them. I know it has to begin with them. I get all that mentally.
But emotionally the standing by and letting it play out is excruciatingly painful for all of us.
I know that all my love and support for the past two plus years didn't do anything to change my son's addiction. I know I was loving him to death on my watch under my roof. That is why he had to go.
But when I saw him yesterday and I saw how thin he is....it terrified me. I actually think he could die of starvation.
I just have to trust that he will find a moment of clarity where he will realize he needs to grab on to the lifeboat and get the hell out of the deep water. That is the only thing I have to hold on to today because I don't see anything else encouraging right now.
Let's try to get through this place together. Everyone on here has been so supportive and I feel like they are ahead of us with flashlights to show us the way.
Themother53,
I am so sorry for your broken heart as well. I know that we can't fix them. I know it has to begin with them. I get all that mentally.
But emotionally the standing by and letting it play out is excruciatingly painful for all of us.
I know that all my love and support for the past two plus years didn't do anything to change my son's addiction. I know I was loving him to death on my watch under my roof. That is why he had to go.
But when I saw him yesterday and I saw how thin he is....it terrified me. I actually think he could die of starvation.
I just have to trust that he will find a moment of clarity where he will realize he needs to grab on to the lifeboat and get the hell out of the deep water. That is the only thing I have to hold on to today because I don't see anything else encouraging right now.
Let's try to get through this place together. Everyone on here has been so supportive and I feel like they are ahead of us with flashlights to show us the way.
I am so sorry for your broken heart as well. I know that we can't fix them. I know it has to begin with them. I get all that mentally.
But emotionally the standing by and letting it play out is excruciatingly painful for all of us.
I know that all my love and support for the past two plus years didn't do anything to change my son's addiction. I know I was loving him to death on my watch under my roof. That is why he had to go.
But when I saw him yesterday and I saw how thin he is....it terrified me. I actually think he could die of starvation.
I just have to trust that he will find a moment of clarity where he will realize he needs to grab on to the lifeboat and get the hell out of the deep water. That is the only thing I have to hold on to today because I don't see anything else encouraging right now.
Let's try to get through this place together. Everyone on here has been so supportive and I feel like they are ahead of us with flashlights to show us the way.
I'm in the same boat with my daughter. Day 7. Horrible, no words.
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