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Is it possible he isn't cheating while smoking crack?
Hi, I am new to all this, I don't use any kind of drugs...I only drink beer from time to time. I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years, we live together...I have a 14 yr old dauhter that lives with us. My boyfriend steals my car and my phone while I am asleep and oes on crack binges..I have Food Stamps for me and my daughter and he has even sold that for crack leaving us with no food. He took our tax money and was gone for three days leavin me with no car nor phone. He always comes back regeretful and feeling very low about himself...Last week we had an arguement and he took my car, as soon as i noticed my car gone i called a friend to come get me...I sorta of know where he goes to get his fix..it's 4 blocks over...where crackheads walk the street...i found him and he had a women with him....I made her get out of the car and talked him into coming home...on the way home he drove thru that neighborhood and was flagged down by another woman, he stopped and let her in...with me screaming and hitting him telling him no!!! He just kept saying" she is just going to get my crack thats all" " i'm sorry"....in conversation after this come to find out thats all he has getting his crack is women...all 4 times...he says they getin the car show him where to go, get his crack, he carries them back and smokes it by himself...i ask what they got out of it, he said they get some of the crack for themsleves....I know notheing about crack, he say he can't et an erection while on crack...Is he cheating with these women or is it possible to ride with these ****** for days and not be sexual at all?? Note...when he gets home after his binges, he is really turned on and wanting sex from me! .
RUN! Do not stay with this guy. I was with a crackhead for 5 years. I got a severely broken heart, a drained bank account, used, abused, and 2 kids to raise on my own.
My ex had a cycle. It went like this (which made the addiction all that more confusing):
Go on a crack binge (he would go, use, come back x3, then just leave and not return until he got arrested).
Get arrested for B&E or whatever he did to get $$
Go to jail for 6mths-1yr
Get out, stay clean for a year while being totally enthralled unhealthily in religion
Repeat.
He would only use in the Spring/Summer months. He told me that he liked the no-responsibility lifestyle. He also told me that the word "incentive" is not in an addicts vocabulary. When I had our kids that ran truer than ever before. Our kids were 2 weeks old, and he took off on all of us without so much as a second thought.
I am sure some crack addicts can get clean, but the sad reality is that it is very uncommon. They are manipulative, borderline sociopathic, lying, cheating, using, opportunist assholes who will never change for anyone. Most are allergic to the big R word (responsibility), so they will never admit that they are responsible for their addiction. My ex has been addicted to drugs, specifically crack, for 15yrs. Somehow I was the cause of his drug addiction/relapses. To this day that is still true to him. I used to believe it. I used to let him deflect responsibility for his actions onto me until I beat myself down, and was apologizing to HIM.
You will not ever change him. You will not be able to love him clean because addicts do not know what love is, nor care what it is. He sees you as a pawn in his sick game of life. Someone there to use and to fall back on when things don't turn out.
I was the other rock for my ex. The only time I ever mattered was when he just got put into jail, and then right when he got out. After a month of getting out, I was nothing anymore. Church was his new addiction (don't think an addict who has found God to be healthy either. Sometimes they just switch addictions for a short while).
So, all that to say that this isn't YOUR fault. This is a choice he has made, and that was probably made before you. As for him cheating on you, I often wonder about my ex. I am sure he did, but I always got a "no" when I asked. Sadly, I only just realized that anythign that comes out of his mouth is a lie.
Also, don't be surprised if you leave him and he quickly finds someone else. 6mths pregnant with twins I was given the ultimatum of "be with me now, or I move on." This was because I told him that I needed time to heal from what he had put me through. That I wanted to seek counseling for myslef and for us. Well, he didn't like that. Addicts needs instant gratification. Well, not long after that he was seeing someone new from his church.
Run for your kids. Run for you. You will never make him get clean. You will never be incentive.
My ex had a cycle. It went like this (which made the addiction all that more confusing):
Go on a crack binge (he would go, use, come back x3, then just leave and not return until he got arrested).
Get arrested for B&E or whatever he did to get $$
Go to jail for 6mths-1yr
Get out, stay clean for a year while being totally enthralled unhealthily in religion
Repeat.
He would only use in the Spring/Summer months. He told me that he liked the no-responsibility lifestyle. He also told me that the word "incentive" is not in an addicts vocabulary. When I had our kids that ran truer than ever before. Our kids were 2 weeks old, and he took off on all of us without so much as a second thought.
I am sure some crack addicts can get clean, but the sad reality is that it is very uncommon. They are manipulative, borderline sociopathic, lying, cheating, using, opportunist assholes who will never change for anyone. Most are allergic to the big R word (responsibility), so they will never admit that they are responsible for their addiction. My ex has been addicted to drugs, specifically crack, for 15yrs. Somehow I was the cause of his drug addiction/relapses. To this day that is still true to him. I used to believe it. I used to let him deflect responsibility for his actions onto me until I beat myself down, and was apologizing to HIM.
You will not ever change him. You will not be able to love him clean because addicts do not know what love is, nor care what it is. He sees you as a pawn in his sick game of life. Someone there to use and to fall back on when things don't turn out.
I was the other rock for my ex. The only time I ever mattered was when he just got put into jail, and then right when he got out. After a month of getting out, I was nothing anymore. Church was his new addiction (don't think an addict who has found God to be healthy either. Sometimes they just switch addictions for a short while).
So, all that to say that this isn't YOUR fault. This is a choice he has made, and that was probably made before you. As for him cheating on you, I often wonder about my ex. I am sure he did, but I always got a "no" when I asked. Sadly, I only just realized that anythign that comes out of his mouth is a lie.
Also, don't be surprised if you leave him and he quickly finds someone else. 6mths pregnant with twins I was given the ultimatum of "be with me now, or I move on." This was because I told him that I needed time to heal from what he had put me through. That I wanted to seek counseling for myslef and for us. Well, he didn't like that. Addicts needs instant gratification. Well, not long after that he was seeing someone new from his church.
Run for your kids. Run for you. You will never make him get clean. You will never be incentive.
My boyfreind want addicted to crack when we split up but now he's addicted he started a new relation ship with another crackhead that as lost her kids already we have 2 little boys what he asnt askt about for over a month when will he realise he's lost me and is kids I have bin with this lad for 8 years why would he start doing crack and do this to me and is kids
COMMUNITY LEADER
If you continue to live like this you will lose everything, that is guaranteed. I understand love and i understand addiction. He is addicted to drugs and you are addicted to him. Please get some help with this.
Hello Twinkle.. I feel bad reading this.. I feel bad becuase you refuse to take the blinders off and see the damage this is doing to your daughter.. they learn by example. is this the worry you want your daughter to have with her mate our even worse what if she gets curious about the speed ? let alone your daughter you tolerating this situation is hard to phantom.. How can you tolerate somebody that does not care if you two have food ? if you have light ? basic necessities..
I understand love but I also understand when we have no love for ourselves.. no self worth.. The very best advice I could give you is TELL YOUR FAMILY... Go to Counseling.. find out and work out why you allow you and Your daughter to be treated this way,, Like I said before EVERY TIME you let him back in it furthers his addiction.. You claim you love him then love him enough to kick him out so he can hit his personal bottom.. I do not know what your bottom is but I PRAY you find it soon if not for you for your Daughter... lesa
I understand love but I also understand when we have no love for ourselves.. no self worth.. The very best advice I could give you is TELL YOUR FAMILY... Go to Counseling.. find out and work out why you allow you and Your daughter to be treated this way,, Like I said before EVERY TIME you let him back in it furthers his addiction.. You claim you love him then love him enough to kick him out so he can hit his personal bottom.. I do not know what your bottom is but I PRAY you find it soon if not for you for your Daughter... lesa
you cant do anything to stop his addiction. he has to. you can only get you and your daughter away from him.
oh hun. i am so sorry. the addiction is progressive . he will do it more and more. is the apt in your name? you need to move out. can you go to a place to get emergency funds to pay the electric bill? a church, a mission?
i think you should report the car stolen.
i think you should report the car stolen.
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