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Addiction: Living with an Addict Community
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Avatar universal

still waiting

we are still waiting for a bed in rehab for our daughter. waiting is agonizing,isn't it? we have closed bank accounts and cancelled credit cards, but we did that last time ,too.i feel badly for saying this, but this time i am more worried about the rest of us..you know the ones who haven't chosen this hell.my husband, my six other children and, yes, even myself.
i used to worry so much about losing  my daughter to an early, untimely death,now i feel i have lost her to something worse.she has every chance and break there is to have and yet she continues.we don't speak much,even though she is at home,and truthfully i'm good with that.we are beginning the process of ultimate loss, i suppose.
i find myself praying for relief of this.. in any form..just please quickly.
god bless all of us in this hell. i wish we could hug and dry each others tears.at least there is this.i so want a life beyond this agony..i pray we all get one.
6 Responses
3060903 tn?1398565123
can you tell us is your daughter still using, while awaiting on the bed in a rehab?

I've been clean and sober for 16 years, do you think you might get your daughter to private message me ? before she goes to treatment. I might be able to help her. I was addicted to opiates , heroin , crack  and alcohol. Maybe i can give her a boost before she goes in. I've been to rehab, so i can maybe help there, i have relapsed and lived to get clean and sober, so maybe i can give her some hope there too!!!

This is the way it maybe is supposed to go... that you look after yourself and your family, and other addicts connect deeply with your daughter. What do you think ?

Can you open this opportunity for your daughter and let her know I'd like to talk to her ? That another recovering heroin/crack alcohol addict really wants to talk to her while she's waiting for treatment?

I pray for you and the entire family Mom. Glad you found the forum and hope you stick around for support.

Liz

3060903 tn?1398565123
BTW, there is no shame in what' you've written up above, nothing that you would need to hide from your daughter. Honesty, complete and total is a good place to start for a real chance at change.
Avatar universal

  thank you so much for reaching out!i will do what i can to get her to connect with you  in my opinion her pride has been the stumbling block all along.
Avatar universal
1dayinwinter,
You have already received responses from Deb and Liz and there are no more supportive, loving and achingly accurate comments than theirs. Trust me. They have walked me through some very dark months. I am in the same situation with my son who is a few years older than your daughter. The heartache and pain are exactly the same for me as they are for you.
The most important thing I did, with the encouragement of Deb and Liz was keep my son out of my house until he wants to clean up and move on with his life.
The sadness and insanity I felt while he lived with us was unbearable. My life stopped while I spent 24/7 trying to manage him to sobriety. All the years of trying, all the money we spent supporting him and most importantly the sacrifice of my precious time and my heart did absolutely nothing to move things along.
Our precious children are full adults. Yours, like mine, has had every advantage and we loved them to pieces.  Now it is on them.  As heartbreakingly painful as that sounds , it is even harder to do to make them go away. But that is what we must do if they don't fight for sobriety. It is the only way for you to claim the life you deserve with your other children.
I sent my son away with sadness, a big hug and told him he will always be our precious child but we have to love him from afar now. I learned everything from our friends here and they have propped me up when I have started to lose my resolve.
Your daughter is willing to go to rehab. That is such a positive sign. My son is not at that place yet.
We have all been in the exact same place that you have described above. Your words left me tasting your sadness (and mine as well).
I think the only difference in you and me right now is the fact that I have finally moved to a place of acceptance that this is the place my son chooses to be for now. I will never understand it and I had to stop obsessing over trying to make sense of it.  As they say, I didn't cause it and I sure as hell can't control any of it. I am finally learning to Let It Go!! Don't think for a minute that it is easy. My heart aches badly for my son but all the worry in the word won't change any of it.
We have done our best. Now they have to pick themselves up and fight to make it happen. And I pray for you that you can get at least a little peace while your precious child is in rehab. We are  right beside you.
3060903 tn?1398565123
i'm so glad that i heard back from you. Please tell her i'd be very surprised if she regretted taking to me right now. |She needs to have someone that is not burnt out, support her right now. You could tell her that. Of  course you're burnt out, having raised a child and feeling like you've lost them to this drug. But i'm not burnt out Mom. I think i can help to kick start a positive attitude for your girl, how to look at his new rehab differently than she did the first. etc. so i hope i do hear from her. I've been to more than one rehab myself.
I'm so glad to hear that Strongerone has come to your aid. You have two great moms helping you out, and i'd love to help your daughter.
God Speed.
1530493 tn?1410056636
I can't help but smile.
reading these posts...wow
The love and support. ...This is what it's all about.
no one should try to do this alone, it's clear above,  you won't be.
strongerone. ..my sweet strongerone.  
A year ago a mom dangling from the edge, just like i, just like you.
To read her words today,  while I still feel her pain, the progress she has made, has saved her life.
The time comes we have to look out for us first, we need to be healthy,  both mentally and physically.  
When we can see their addiction, for what it is...theirs, and understand only they can change that,  you will begin to see the big picture.
you need to heal, well help get you there.  
I know many success stories. ...it needs to begin with you.
When your daughter is ready, you have to be ready to feel her life again.
There's no giving up here...it's all about moving forward
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