Anger Problem Solved?

[swagger39]

Came on this post with clonazapam addiction , which then turned into alcohol issues , then marriage issues. I ranted, lashed out, insulted and made some freinds, lost a few more , but to make a long story short , whatever the outcome is , whether I stay sober ( misserable) or if and when I quit mt pill addiction ( hello anziety ) I gained some valuable insight about myself. See I have always known I have been rude and insulting and even prone to starting fights, just downright an a** ****. but have always just had the attitude, I dont give a **** like me or not I just dont care, I am who I am!! But it was not until I seen it here iooking me right in the face , the humilityof it all I knew I can not go on being this insensitive walking talking timebomb. I made a decission to put a halt to this way of acting/ thinking, By no means am I implying I will be peoples doormat, but each waking day I will be nice to people who deserve it, and walk away from trouble people, unless I have no choice, and never judge anyperson until I know what that person may have or is experiencing with their life. Im glad I came on this site. I got to see myself as others do, and did not like what I seen.     SWAGGER

[swagger39]

I got to make a store run, but did youget my invite, I sent twice? Hope to hear from ya again tonight......swagg

[swagger39]

My nightly connection with Becca, now Im really feelin good, as you stated she has been feeling neglected by the computer. I do need to give/take somewhat, Since my surgery over a year ago I started buying dvds like crazy and I have 100s of them that we have not watched and 100s more to be seen again. I should set aside time for that. I have to work tue thru fri 1.30 to 11.30 pm but thats 3 hrs from pacific time so I dont want to miss your nightly post, 12.00 am would be 9-00 pm in Oregon right? Your around then I hope, I need my Becca fix too!! Girl were do you get all your insight? Also do they have computers at the college or library in Salem? Keep me posted Becca swagg.

[Beccabeccalynn]

Hey guys just checking in. Swag you can friend me and I will accept I don't think I can do the picture thing with my iPhone. Maybe what pepper is saying with out saying it is that she wants to feel as importat as the computer, you should have date night with no computer like in the old days, my ex stopped doing this kind of special stuff with me when we got sober and it was really one of the things that I missed. Just a thought from one woman to one man. Relationships really need nurture in sobriety, a lot of us damaged relationships while using. Come to think of it relationships need nurture regaurdless.
Am I rambling? Went for the first swim of the season withy son Blaise and that felt kind of pro-active. I hope Blaise stays over anouther night.
Becca

[swagger39]

Sara that aint gonna happen. Ya see shes a money hog, Besides she dont know about spyware, updates- maintainance in general, so it would not be a good idea and she has all the time she needs with this one while Im at work......I say to her , dont mess with my off days, this is my time, she likes watching tv anyway so why all the fuss,  swagg

[dominosarah]

Maybe pepper needs a laptop too!!!

[swagger39]

Ifinally got my laptop back from pepper. I realize what you are saying about the freinds list as the same applies in all aspects in life not just here, but I was only implying that statement because of the privacy issue on pics. My list is in fact growing , this woman name Sara just added to it.......Im clownin Sara.....Thanks. And this cool woman Sway accepted my invite, thanks to her as well, Im sure shes watching! I see pepper called me a computer hog ( guilty ) but oh well this makes me happy and I paid for it. swagg

[dominosarah]

They must of ran out of fireworks shortly after i went to bed as it got quiet!!!  The longer you are on this site the more you will meet and then your friends list gets huge!!

[swagger39]

I know Sara but my freinds list is kind of small, hope that changes in time , I seem to connect with many and want to share with them as well. So how is your day going. Did you get any good sleep w all the bs goin on?

[dominosarah]

You can set your pics to friends only Swag.  There is a setting by each pic.......

[swagger39]

Im so glad to hear from you Becca , Postage stamp apartment???? You have a very unique way with words and sayings and stuff. I think that is one of the reasons I admire you so much. I hope ( for real ) you get over this deppression thing and start living the life you deserve. BTW, your cupcake remarks the other night made me smile, it was just so ??? I never made a cupcake in my life, but the way you said it , it was hillarious, Im not making fun of it or you, but it touched me. I do hope you stay in touch and I accidently deleted a few people from freinds list, I need you back on it. I know you do this with Iphone, thats gotta be rough , your one tough( cupcake ) Becca. Swagger

[Beccabeccalynn]

Hey all I did go last night but only for the fireworks and I stayed outside sat with the kids didn't drink and didn't feel like it but am glad that I stayed with the kids and played it safe. I ended up with three kids last night strewn all over my postage stamp apartment. Thanks for the good advice swag just knowing that someone is pulling for me helps tons.
Becca

[swagger39]

It really bites to know anyone on the web can see the pics if they by chance happen onto this site and they recognize you. I worry about that and I cant get invites from freinds no more as I accidently deleted some thru the computer changeover. Its quiet here now you must live in a rough part of Minnesota. What you think about pics, give me one last post before you hit the rack.   swagg

[dominosarah]

I havent posted on the movie thread yet.  I am tired tonight and will be going to bed soon.  I checked out your pics.  It is always fun to see who we are talking too and get a glimpse into their world!!  Work was busy tonight.  We closed early so that was nice.  My neighbors are being loud and obnoxious tonight.  They seem to think we all want to listen to their stupidity.......I may have to yell out the window yet!!!  LOL

[swagger39]

Ya mean there is still someone up besides me in the midwest? Im gettin ready to hit the rack soon I suppose. I bought a scanner/printer today and have uploaded a boatload of pics, just keepin busy. Snallpepper done called it a night. Check out my pics if you get some spare time, I could not find some I really wanted to add. I been worried about Becca , she seems to be reaching out for help, shes such a sweet person and I hope she did not do what she was implying, From   her messages and her post she seems very independent and above average in the smarts dept, but them demons still want her back, I dont know what to tell her. Shes gonna do what shes gonna do right? Did you put up a thread about favorite movies? I can go there for days. So how was your work today?      SWAGGER

[dominosarah]

Hi Swag!!  Hows it going tonight?

[swagger39]

Hi Becca I would not go, way too much temptation there, you are too good a person for that, with you being depressed and all that first beer might be tempting, please dont do it. Btw I just bought a scanner so im uploading pics and goin bananas cuz I cant find my Oregon pics. I sent this post 10 min ago and they deleted it? I dont want to see anything bad cross paths with you, your too good a person, take care of number1 BECCA!!!  keep posting ......SWAGG

[Beccabeccalynn]

Hello fellow patriots. I the one who cries when they sing the national anthem. So it's the fourth and I am home of course. I was invited to a BBQ and actually felt a bit like going but I know that there will me pot and lots of booze there and while they aren't my drug of choice I felt it best to not mess around testing my sobriety considering how depressed I have been. Idk maybe I should go get out and eat visit I could always leave if they get to rowdy. Crap I feel d@mned if I do or if I don't.
Becca

[swagger39]

Im back, it was more work than fun, stopped at white castle-eat. So you have to work today of all days? Is it hard work.? I also wanted to add to the prior post that I find nothing more emotionally moving than when they play ( taps ) for a fallen veteran!!! swagg

[dominosarah]

Oh its all good!!  Have fun shopping at Walmart!!!  I get to go to work today!!!

[swagger39]

So we agree to agree? I must do my weekly wal mart shopping now, but I will be back. Please dont be angry because I brought this up. did not mean to hit a sore spot.

[dominosarah]

I know what you mean.  I look at my ridiculous neighbors drunker than all get out, lighting fireworks and not having a clue what this day really means.  All it is to them is a day off and a party.  I also get furious when the flag goes by and caps are not removed and no hand over the heart.  Now i may get angry!!!

[swagger39]

Sorry for your loss sara, I hope nobody looks upon my last post as an insult, as it was not directed at nobody personally, its not an angry statement, just simply my observation and thoughts. My father was also burried with full military honors, I myself served and my thoughts and prayers go out to all those who have served. I get kinda teary eyed myself on Veterans day, especially if I see people doing what I mentioned on the first post I made today......swagg  

[dominosarah]

Growing up military like i did i fully understand what the 4th of July is all about.  Tonight when i look to the heavens i will say an extra thank you to my dad for serving this country he was so proud of~~~~Happy 4th dad.  You are loved and missed~~~~~

[swagger39]

Good mornin to all, I wont say Happy fourth or Merry x mas or any of that stuff because its just like repeating what everyone else says. How about just Happy Day? So is anybody hurting today? Is anybody need to talk ? How about that 4th of July thing anyway, does anybody ( really ) observe it for its true meaning or any holiday for that matter ? I see so many people ( not here of course ) but just out there running around doing the wooo hooo, Happy this or Merry that with out even giving the holidays true meaning a passing thought. I see so many just use the holidays for an an excuse to party and act up. Has any one ever taken the time to salute the vets on veterans day or is it just another day to not have to work and run down and buy cases of keystone and wooo hooo it up ? Has any one truly given thanks for thanksgiving? If you have done so , then I salute you. I know I am just babbling away here , but I woke up this morning thinking about what I will observe tonight in my neighborhood, drinking fighting hooping it up fireworks etc mostly by people whom do not even give  independence or freedom or the birth of our free nation a passing thought. Everyone Have A Happy Day on this Fourth Day of July. And the 5 th and 6th and so on. swag.