Please help if you can!!

[luvmykids29]

I posted on another forum but I think it's slow there. I am an alcoholic. I know it. I just don't know what to do to stop it. I have 3 children under 6. My spouse doesn't know so it's very well hidden. Some background on me, my very best friend, my mother died in 07. It wrecked me. Beyond wrecked, it turned me into this horrible person I am now. I just can't get over her. I am only 30 and she was supposed to be here for me. I know I should just stop boo whooing about it like everyone else says. If anyone here has any good advice I am all ears.

[dominosarah]

Did you get a chance to talk with your husband??  I am working until 5 today and will check on here when i get home........Remember i am here for you......sara

[dominosarah]

That is the first step you need to take.  You can do this.....and you can always send me a pm.......like i said i know what you are going thru and i will be here to talk with you....Sit your husband down and tell him what is going on.  You will feel better.  Then you can get a plan in action......let me know how it goes okay??  I care.....sara

[luvmykids29]

I am going to be honest. First...to myself and then to my husband. Sounds easy now. We'll see how it goes.

[dominosarah]

You make a decision to stop the insanity and do whatever it is going to take to make those changes.  I know you are afraid but you have more to be afraid of if you keep drinking.  You need you and your babies need you.  Where does your husband fit into all of this??  Is there anyway you can be honest with him and tell him what is going on?

[luvmykids29]

I feel it crashing in on me now. How do I handle it? I just care about my kids. I just want them to be safe and happy. Oh, and no vodka, just beer.

[dominosarah]

I know how you feel about losing a parent.........i lost my dad a few years ago and my addiction spiraled.  It came to a point where i had to stop.  I am a recovering alcoholic.  I drank everyday for years.  Your super mom days will come crashing down on you if you dont get a handle on this.  I am serious about getting in touch with someone and getting these feelings out.  Honey you are going to lose everything if you dont stop this.  I am not trying to be a jerk......I have been there done that.  Are you drinking vodka for your husband to not know?

[luvmykids29]

I drink every day all day. I know it's terrible. I love my kids. I need me to be healthy for them and  it really hurts me. I can be super mom though and do everything they need. Just inside every day I am dying without my momma. I can't get over losing her. It is really killing me.

Thank you for responding :)

[dominosarah]

Hi.....i am sara........first off you are not a horrible person....not even close.  Sounds like you have alot on your plate right now.  I honestly would recommend some type of grief counseling.  It is very common for some of us to run to something after a death instead of dealing with it.  How much do you drink??  How often?