I'm glad you didn't leave! It would have been like a part of me was ripped off! The part that couldn't survive without the other! I shudder at the thought!
Ok, I'm going to my happy place right now! (smile)
Great post...
My beginnings were different and thats why I'm posting ..to reflect that..
I never relapsed over and over..I never looked for excuses to stay using..I never looked for a pat on the back...
I came here to be around recovering people in the hope it would help me get the strength I needed to quit.......read recovery stories to give me hope ....and maybe make some clean friends...
Tough love works with me when I consider the source...someone with just months of sobriety poking their finger in my chest telling me how I'm going to hell in an handbasket..... because I am not following their "one size fits all" recovery plan,? ,,..sorry........ but a turn off for me,,,,
I am also different in the repsect that I have no secret to tell anyone..
I shared with my sponsor , you guys and thats it...no one else is aware I needed to take time to detox or how bad I was,,,,In my case there is no point in it...My kids ? , My mom ? My doctor? for what purpose?
About 14 days or so clean,,,,I was up late grinding on what happend to me that day with the dealer , who's number was still in my phone,,,and how things went...and thought hmmm "I should share this with my new Medhelp family" ;-)
but after I posted
My profile and all my posts were scrutinized..i was told I was not being honest..and that my chances were slim for recovery if I didnt go to more than one meeting per week,,,ouch.,..
...after I posted , what I got was an investigation and a lecture... It was hard for me to belive the one place I knew I would find comfort and friends comes some hardcore , baseless critisim about my recovery from someone who I don't even know, or who knows my story....helpful to me? Heck No.... damaging in my case...I started to leave this forum and never come back,,,
What I needed to hear? ... I felt terrible for half a day
So to your post Cornhall yes ...this program or recovery is based on brutal honesty..especially with ourselves then others...I get that..and sometiems I need it as well...You are good at it and a blessing to many..
The tough love style has it's place,,,but shouldbe used with caution and consider the source...
Conhall you received exactly what you needed when you needed it,,,and thats the bottom line,..you're clean and helping others..and thats way OK in my book,,,....a great recovery story...
Free~
what a Great day Today :))) I spent time with My son had senior pictures done then Lunch. Life is Great! Time has a way of going by so fast just yesterday it seems he was My Lil Kindergarten dude man o Man I am so proud of this young man.
I am glad I have these moments and I am Clean I see things now and appreciate them more. The Future and the possibilities are endless and going to be amazing!
We are so lucky to have you here~
Drifter Congrats to you and yes Change is possible it always is and I am glad you are doing good stay positive and keep pushing for a better life You can do it! :)
soon as i opened up and reached out for help my life was spared a horrible untimely death
i broke the insanity circle breaking myself down and rebuilding my life because i belived change was possible! congrats everyone!
You are right, in the beginning we get very defensive. It's that fight or flight thing. We know what has been said is the truth but we are determined to get our point across, It is that control thing!!!
I am called alot of things, never graceful, so thank you!!
Brightfuture, Thanks for your perspective I always appreciate hearing the other side of things :)))
You are doing great and I see you posting and now helping others way to go! keep doing what u do :) I am proud of u
Sarah you are right, you definitely do 'word your words' very effectively. Your posts are very graceful and to the point...a delicate balance indeed.
Conhall...congrats on your 100+ days...amazing!!! Your post is great. You know really, it seems as though most of us feel the same about being honest and reaching out to others, especially to those just starting out...but think about it, those that are just starting don't have that perspective and the experiences yet...so many (myself included in the beginning- many of us I'm sure) will feel turned off, or feel like they have to defend themselves when they are hit with those honesty comments (which are the best ones!)...unfortunately it just seems like those reactions and feelings of defensiveness are part of the whole process- the nature of the beast in a way. Now that we are on the 'other side' of course we'll say we would want the honest, straight-up person giving the advice. We've reaped the benefits of having had that happen. We 'get it' and appreciate it now...you just don't have that when you're starting out..(again, not generalizing- some ppl I should say).
I'm commenting not to disagree- I think this post is great and spot-on. Just taking a different perspective on things...I think what you are pointing out is so so true. I'm sure many (including myself) will read this post and take so much from it
I'm one that's always needed and responded to the truth, I don't like anything sugar coated.
Sara you have always been one of the people on here I admire and all your post I always read even when Its not for me I read and store the info.
Best quote You gave me its on a piece of post it note on my bathroom mirror I wont toss it its old and Fray but its important to me
It says "Physical W/D is the easy part of getting clean the real work starts with the mental part of W/D.
Guard your sobriety your life depends on it.
I am sure I will never forget those words.
Thank you :)))))
The truth is very painful in the beginning. Emotions are all over the place while we are detoxing. You learn after awhile how to "word" your words to be the most effective. I have taken it in the shorts many a times for my bluntness but that is okay. Coddling someone isnt helping them at all. The oh poor you thing is when you break a leg or something. I have found nothing glamorous about this addiction. It is a dead end road literally and i have said goodbye to a few friends on this forum who didnt make it out alive. It is heartbreaking. There isnt one of us that is exempt from this. What i have found in recovery is many blessings, everyday~~~sara
Sonrissa You are one of the first peeps on here that reached out to me and told me I could do this :))))
You will always be welcome to post and add your Prospective!
Sending You a cool Breeze and some sunshine Girl Much Love for you :)))
I am always available to Give a Lil ArSe kicking You doing okay what is going on?
thanks for this post. It is so dead on true I can't even add to it.
hugs,
Lily
As usual, my dear friend, well said! I have always maintained that when we first come here looking for help, looking for support, looking for understanding, looking for a way out of this horrid mess, we put our personal lives, our deepest, darkest secrets on this very public forum! We will get many different responses. Some of them will be harsh, some of them will be sugar coated, some of them may not be what we want to hear! But, they may be what we need to hear! They may be exactly what we need to save our lives!
The bottom line is be open to any and all advice and support! Take what you need, what you can apply to yourself and your own personal situation! Leave the rest for someone else who may read and find something that they can use! We may not always like the perceived tone or spirit of the reply, but if there is one thing that I have learned from the nearly 6 months that I have been around here, is that there are wonderful folks here who have been there, who have seen it all! They know what they are taking about! It is through them, and their advice and support, that I have been able to come as far as I have! I did not always like or feel warm and fuzzy about the replies I got, but I know now, that they were exactly what I needed to be successful, at least thus far!
Thanks Conhall for saying what needed to be said, and allowing me to add in my perspective!
Great post!! I needed and still do I still need the type of person to give me$h!t, to tell me straight up, to tell me I am failing, to tell me I better $h!t or get off the pot!!! Those type of posters are the ones who know best, who have been there done that, have years of experience , that's what I need, I do not need anyone to tell me it will be ok, because it will not!! As Vicki said this is not "candy land", we need a harsh wake up call, and if you can slap the crap out of me over your PC I need that too! I just want to say thank you to my friends who have the guts to tell me like it is, ( you know who you are) I need the brutal honestly with a little love of course!! So thank you to my dear friends who keep me in check, and FYI I need a little A$$ kicking at this moment!!!