Clean isn't Sober

[debsally]

Hi All,

Happy to report that Sally is still clean from the soma, glad I flushed them and still never wants to take them again.  We saw her therapist together on saturday and it went really well.  She is getting to the bottom of what is and has caused her addiction.  Digging into childhood trama is very difficult and she is doing pretty well at working through. It is not easy, but she does know that the pain she is holding on to is what is keeping her from moving forward with her life and that is brilliant.  Knowing is half and doing what needs to be done to heal is the other half.

Something amazing happened on Sunday.  We had a healing service at church and during the "healing" part of the service, she decided to take a walk.  I thought it was going to be a missed opportunity, but when she returned, she told me that she had a talk with God and has decided to change her confession which used to be "I am broken and cant do anything"....now her confession is "I am no longer broken".  This may sound like a little thing, but it is huge for her.  She says she doesnt feel broken anymore...a little lost, but not broken.  I have noticed a change in her ever since.  A deeper peace.  A different attitude.

Now to my topic....I have learned when you are working the program that being clean doesnt necessarily mean you are "clean and sober", right???  So she is drinking a little more frequently and smokes a little pot at night.  My concern is that if it continues, isnt it just replacing one drug for another???  I want to be alert to these things and not take anything for granted.  So tonight I am going to talk to her about what I have noticed and see what the response is.

I have heard that people that are hard core in the program say that to be "clean and sober" you must be completely drug and alcohol free.  I understand that, but also know many people that are clean from their drug of choice but drink socially and are not addicted to alcohol.  This is the case with my wife.  She has never abused alcohol, so it has not been a problem.  I'm hoping it will not now become one which is why I am asking for some opinions.

I'm kind of rambling on....but interested in what your experiences have been......

Any feedback is appreciated.....

Thanks for listening....

Love,

Debbie

[debsally]

Thank you so much.  We have been conversing about the alcohol and pot.  We are so happy that we can be honest with eachother about how we feel and that there doesnt have to be any secrets.  She hasnt had anything to drink in a few days now, so that is excellent.  I think, now, that it was isolated and a little paranoia on my part, but still always vigilant.  She knows why she is using the pot and we have discussed it on several occasions.  I know she knows what she has to do to be "clean and sober" and I still believe she is on her way to being totally that and that it will happen.

We are all a process.  I am so glad that you all have shared with me your thoughts and experiences.  I am glad we are all here and sad for those who are gone.

Sally and I are not gone and she is not far gone.  She is so much better than she was a year ago and I am hanging on to both of our victories in that.

As always, I will keep you posted on her progress and mine.  They are separate and together at the same time...interestingly...

All my love and gratitude...have a great weekend!!!

Debbie

[LIZZIE LOU]

contrary to popular belief...pot is a depressant and should not be smoked by anyone suffering from depression...it only exacerbates the situation.

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Some people use the pot as an excellent method to deal with pain and minor depression.....I also used it during chemo and especially for the anorexic part.....she doesnt have to have a drug problem with the pot.....that part is up to her.....it can be every bit as much a tool as methadone or suboxone....and it can be used or misused just as easily..... Huge congrats on the soma incident.....you did so well.....and fully endorse her spititual quest...none of us really know how God works.....I think that you can encounter Him on a walk as well as in a healing service....i know that He spoke to me when I was having an out of body near death experience in the ER .....no professionals involved could believe that I lived with no (discernible) brain damage......it was actually an image of my son that flashed through my mind and reminded me that he still needed me......love conquers all!!!   best of luck to both of you - - we dont really know each other...but I have been following you as long as you have been on the forum....keep it up!            eagle

[IBKleen]

Hi Deb,

Again, good to her from you and I do wish it were under better circumstances.

FOR ME, being clean is clean from all drugs and alcohol is a drug. If I am drinking and smoking weed then I am looking to "escape" and "hide" once again. I need to face my demons and not constantly look for ways to bury the pain.

She is making some huge strides and I commend her, Keep us posted hun and my love to the both of you.

Big Hugs.....

[Mikeinthesouth]

I myself believe that to confess to be clean one must also be sober as well. I know for myself I will use anything that changes my feelings to the utmost and abuse it all until that becomes an insane addiction. So I say I agree with the hardcore folks to be clean is to be sober as well. Pot as is opiates alcohol are all drugs to change emotins and they do the job. I need to work on feeling life as it is not what I imagine it to be in the middle of addiction..... I gotta watch the manipulation I tend to do as I use it on myself as well as others... Best Regards to you two

[dominosarah]

Hi.......It is VERY common to switch addictions......we have a tendancy to look for something else to feel that buzz so to speak.  Drinking will grab you and take you down hard and fast......Just watch this carefully.....I know i have been there.        sara