How Do You Trust Again?

[DeltaRedd1984]

My husband is now in jail.  He has been in jail about a litter over a month.  Last week he called me and apologized for hurting me and putting me thought the hell of his crack addiction.  I believe he is sincere but when I asked him about being unfaithful he denied it.  He claims that he was true to his marriage vows.  Before he was arrested, the bail bondmen found him living at a crack house.  I am having trouble accepting his apology and even more trouble believing anything he tells me.  I would like to know if I am wrong to feel this way?   We have been separated since April because he refused to get help for his addiction.

[DeltaRedd1984]

I have been tested and everything is OK with me.  I have been attending Al-Anon and AA/NA meetings since April.  I am currently working step 4 with the assistance of my sponsor.  Today, I just found out that he is going to be bailed out of jail by his mother.  She is his number 1 enabler.  He has asked me to give him the chance to show me how much he loves me.  He is still living with his parents so, and I told him that my boundaries still apply.  I also told him that actions speak loader than words.  Thank you all for being here for me.

[freebird227]

I only want to support you in taking all the time you need in processing things.Accepting his apology is gest that************.and it doesn't have to be any more. No other action is required on your part.
He is in the system now and he will choose to get help ( because it will look good on his report ) and if you (or he ) is lucky************ He will stick and stay.
I pray he finds recovery.......but in the meantime I would suggest you take Your Own Inventory and see where you might be needing help.
    30 plus days.............he is not trustworthy, he will still be dancing the only dance he knows. Him having sex with other women is secondary to the BIG picture. You may want to get yourself screened for STD's.
Looking back at your post I see you have been seperated since April?, thats about 7 months..............Trust me somebody has  had sex.
I would suggest that you put the focus on yourself and get your house in order while he is tech. safe by being locked up.
Good luck to you and yours and I hope for you a pleasant out-come



A good nar-anon meeting would help or a al-anon meeting to help you move through the wreckage that active addiction brings.

[PromisedLand]

If he wants to help himself he should be able to arrange to meet with people from narcotics anonymous..my son was in jail in Georgia and that's how he got clean..

I don't think you are wrong to feel that way...you don't know what has taken place and a guy in jail is going to say anythng....heck...he probably has no idea what has transpired since being in a crack house..

You should stick to your guns...he needs to commit to you that he is going to get help and a good place to start is Narcotics Anonymous AND make progress in that program before you even discuss anything relative to your marriage....


Jim