Aa
funny stories anyone?
To lighten our withdrawaling spirits its time for funny stories that happened to us- no drug stories please:)
1. When the first Star Wars came out after 20 years my friends and I decided we wanted to go on opening night. A few of my friends stayed out all night to get us tickets (we did bring snacks and dinner for them) so opening night we are sitting in the theater, all 20 of us, and there are some crazy cats in with us. One dude in front was wearing like 4 opening day lanyards for openings in Chicago, New York and you know that had to cost a pretty penny. So anyways, at the end of our row there was an older dude by himself. Hes all jazzed, talking about how great this is going to be, bopping around a beach ball, etc. Well, there was a snafu when the movie started and the beginning 2-3 minutes was without sound. The old dude stands up, screams "I waited 20 years for this ****" and takes off. He never came back.
2. Another movie related incident- A bunch of us went to the Lord of the Rings opening. Opening night and they are doing trivia questions for prizes. The man across from us was a older fellow wearing a very tight wife beater and a large tummy. He answered one of the questions correct and was getting up to get his prize. He husband turns to him, puts up his thumb and says- "Way to go Gutty!" I started laughing hysterically and asked what the heck was that about. He stated I was thinking- way to go guy and way to go buddy and it came out as gutty:)
1. When the first Star Wars came out after 20 years my friends and I decided we wanted to go on opening night. A few of my friends stayed out all night to get us tickets (we did bring snacks and dinner for them) so opening night we are sitting in the theater, all 20 of us, and there are some crazy cats in with us. One dude in front was wearing like 4 opening day lanyards for openings in Chicago, New York and you know that had to cost a pretty penny. So anyways, at the end of our row there was an older dude by himself. Hes all jazzed, talking about how great this is going to be, bopping around a beach ball, etc. Well, there was a snafu when the movie started and the beginning 2-3 minutes was without sound. The old dude stands up, screams "I waited 20 years for this ****" and takes off. He never came back.
2. Another movie related incident- A bunch of us went to the Lord of the Rings opening. Opening night and they are doing trivia questions for prizes. The man across from us was a older fellow wearing a very tight wife beater and a large tummy. He answered one of the questions correct and was getting up to get his prize. He husband turns to him, puts up his thumb and says- "Way to go Gutty!" I started laughing hysterically and asked what the heck was that about. He stated I was thinking- way to go guy and way to go buddy and it came out as gutty:)
Tis one probably be titled Bad Mama but is still funny: Last week we did the free for all dinner at hiome-didnt feel like cooking so just tell me what you want and will fix it-Eve sandwich Rob bowl of cereal and Chris came out with "cookie"-"no Chris" "I want cookie" " No chris you guys ate them all today" well lets say it kept escalating with him and I screaming back and forth about him wanting cookie for dinner ( hes 4) and me saying no until I finally had had it and told im to go to his room.So with a alittle ( very little ) swat to the butt as he was running up the stairs screaaming ' I just want cookie for dinner". Ok fast forward to about 15 mins later after all that time of him up in his room still yelling and crying and carrying on he comes back down to the kitchen and says " I want a cookie sandwich for dinner' " Honey are you saying you want a turkey sandwich? ' " Yes mama'
opps time for speech therapy!! lol
opps time for speech therapy!! lol
Ok now that's funny. Thanks for the laughs guys
ok funny story coming your way:
We let my middle son,Robbie, hair grow out last year.I was just so pretty-he had ringlets and I knew if we cut them they wouldnt grow back.So it was alittle past his shoulders, oh hes 4 1/2 at this time, and the neigborhood girls were strting to upset him by calling him a girl.So I told him I would take him for a haircut tomorrow after we went to the library for their big DPW truck thing.And had a talk wit him about hes a boy and he has a penis and that hes big and strong.Fast forward to truck show-he is up in the cab of front end loader (prob 8 ft above the crowd) and the guy helping him down calls him a girl. so yup here it comes -on the top of his lungs screaming out of the cab he says "I'm a boy and I have a penis and my mama says its big and strong!!!!!" Omg talk about leaving somewhere fast!!!
We let my middle son,Robbie, hair grow out last year.I was just so pretty-he had ringlets and I knew if we cut them they wouldnt grow back.So it was alittle past his shoulders, oh hes 4 1/2 at this time, and the neigborhood girls were strting to upset him by calling him a girl.So I told him I would take him for a haircut tomorrow after we went to the library for their big DPW truck thing.And had a talk wit him about hes a boy and he has a penis and that hes big and strong.Fast forward to truck show-he is up in the cab of front end loader (prob 8 ft above the crowd) and the guy helping him down calls him a girl. so yup here it comes -on the top of his lungs screaming out of the cab he says "I'm a boy and I have a penis and my mama says its big and strong!!!!!" Omg talk about leaving somewhere fast!!!
Ok, now that is a funny story!
Heres another catholic school story;
So for sexual education we had separate boys and girls groups. We got the usual, this is how your body works, what happens and then some religious indoctrinate. My personal fave was to not dwadle on your privates when showering because it makes God angry. And then we were trooped into the chapel for the all important viewing of a live birth. If that does not scare the crap out of you at age 12- nothing will. so here comes the big scene- the final push and the boy next to me yells- "It looks like a hotdog in a bun"
So for sexual education we had separate boys and girls groups. We got the usual, this is how your body works, what happens and then some religious indoctrinate. My personal fave was to not dwadle on your privates when showering because it makes God angry. And then we were trooped into the chapel for the all important viewing of a live birth. If that does not scare the crap out of you at age 12- nothing will. so here comes the big scene- the final push and the boy next to me yells- "It looks like a hotdog in a bun"
I give this thread 30 minutes....TOPS!!
Then helllooooooooo Social forum!!
Then helllooooooooo Social forum!!
Well speaking of biting I do have one funny story...
**** Deleted by MH_MDRTR ****
**** Deleted by MH_MDRTR ****
Well I resent all your remarks so bite me!
I resent that remark..
Whoooaaaa Nellie....heavy stuff..
I grew up in Eastwood!! Not far from you at all!! I admit some of the nuns were the anti-Christ, but some were hilarious also...apart from obvious mental abnormalities that have been observed by my fellow MedHelp friends....I think I'm relatively normal and unscathed...
Keep the stories coming....fun...
I grew up in Eastwood!! Not far from you at all!! I admit some of the nuns were the anti-Christ, but some were hilarious also...apart from obvious mental abnormalities that have been observed by my fellow MedHelp friends....I think I'm relatively normal and unscathed...
Keep the stories coming....fun...
I like the dog story, My dog George, got his name from the Bugs Bunny cartoon where the abominal snowman picks up Bugs and says, "I will love him, and hug him and take care of him and I will call him George" Anyways- I had him for 13 years and had to put him down a few months ago due to cancer:( RIP- George
Hey there, I went to public school in Sydney (Concord), although I live in california now (since I was 15 [long ago]) I will never forget the cruelty inflicted upon the students (mental and physical). It is not just Catholic school, let me tell you the public schools in Sydney house some of the most sinister excuses for faculty in the world. Pure evil. I still keep in touch via facebook with old mates and there have been implications from mental trauma to even suicide of one of my closest friends.
I completely believe it when you say you were 'whooped' in complete innocence. As a similar example, my clothes were stolen after a swimming carnival, the teachers had to enlist 3 kids to drag me on the bus with nothing but a towel around my waist, then, as punishment for making the entire 6th grade class wait, I had to stand at the front of the bus on the ride back to the school. The only semblance of dignity I received was from the poor bus driver who pulled me aside as we disembarked and taxi'd me home in the bus, off his route.
The next day I was busted for accepting the bus driver's charity and humiliated in front of the entire class again.
I don't care one iota for these despicable teachers, but when I hear stories like yours it makes my blood boil!!!
I completely believe it when you say you were 'whooped' in complete innocence. As a similar example, my clothes were stolen after a swimming carnival, the teachers had to enlist 3 kids to drag me on the bus with nothing but a towel around my waist, then, as punishment for making the entire 6th grade class wait, I had to stand at the front of the bus on the ride back to the school. The only semblance of dignity I received was from the poor bus driver who pulled me aside as we disembarked and taxi'd me home in the bus, off his route.
The next day I was busted for accepting the bus driver's charity and humiliated in front of the entire class again.
I don't care one iota for these despicable teachers, but when I hear stories like yours it makes my blood boil!!!
Hmmm.. I have a English Bulldog, she's amazing, but high maintenance. She's very smart and responds well to commands. OK, this might be funny and gross for some of you.
One command is "Booty Wash". If we're in the backyard and she goes poo, I say Booty Wash and she runs to the hose to let me wash her just in case there's " dingle berries". The other command is "Booty Check". I say Booty Check whenever she comes in doors. She waggles to the bathroom and I wipe her booty with baby wipes, just in case. Even though I have to go through this routine shes the funniest, coolest dog I've ever had.
azaddict
One command is "Booty Wash". If we're in the backyard and she goes poo, I say Booty Wash and she runs to the hose to let me wash her just in case there's " dingle berries". The other command is "Booty Check". I say Booty Check whenever she comes in doors. She waggles to the bathroom and I wipe her booty with baby wipes, just in case. Even though I have to go through this routine shes the funniest, coolest dog I've ever had.
azaddict
I too, was raised by thou art holy ones...I went to a school in Australia called "Our Lady of Mercy College" ...all girls..(I know none of you are shocked by this...I AM very sweet and innocent after all)....
When in 4th grade after making my reconciliation (overeasy you know what I'm talking about...) I had to go to my very first confession....a nun had to open the door for me because I was Teeny Tiny and those confessional doors always had high door knobs...anyway, long story short, said Nun (still remember her name, Sister Patricia...) forgot about me, and then the priest left too..I had no way of getting out...too short....I was too scared to make a noise, they found me in there about 15 minutes later crying...
It gets worse...Sr Patricia was so mad at me that she gave me the worst *** whooping of my life..looking back, I never did say many Hail Mary's after that but I did say a hell of a gotta F-YOU's!!
When in 4th grade after making my reconciliation (overeasy you know what I'm talking about...) I had to go to my very first confession....a nun had to open the door for me because I was Teeny Tiny and those confessional doors always had high door knobs...anyway, long story short, said Nun (still remember her name, Sister Patricia...) forgot about me, and then the priest left too..I had no way of getting out...too short....I was too scared to make a noise, they found me in there about 15 minutes later crying...
It gets worse...Sr Patricia was so mad at me that she gave me the worst *** whooping of my life..looking back, I never did say many Hail Mary's after that but I did say a hell of a gotta F-YOU's!!
Not a pretty scene. If I remember correctly that one involved a talk with my parents.
Its a crazy world might as well laugh it up.
Its a crazy world might as well laugh it up.
bahahaha...that cracks me up...would love to have observed that.
I have so many church stories......
I went up for a reading in 4th grade with Tony and Mike (jeez I still remember there names) anyways, we get back to our seats and put down the kneeler. My foot was under one of the legs when Tony and Mike kneeled on it and I screamed out (for those not familar with Catholic Mass- you have a quiet time of reflection after the readings) "Sweet Jesus. Get the f off my foot"
That time I got to talk with the priest:)
I went up for a reading in 4th grade with Tony and Mike (jeez I still remember there names) anyways, we get back to our seats and put down the kneeler. My foot was under one of the legs when Tony and Mike kneeled on it and I screamed out (for those not familar with Catholic Mass- you have a quiet time of reflection after the readings) "Sweet Jesus. Get the f off my foot"
That time I got to talk with the priest:)
LOL I think I can relate... I played the cowbell in my school after watching Christopher Walkin on SNL
Nah, I love the kids, but do tell some to learn the phrase, "would you like fries with that?"
haven't seen the site, but receive emails of stuff like that all the time.
One time i farted in class, silent, but awful...one kid smelled it and blamed the kid next to her...i went with that option instead of owning up!
One time i farted in class, silent, but awful...one kid smelled it and blamed the kid next to her...i went with that option instead of owning up!
Are you one of those teachers that staple Burger King applications to failed tests?
P.S. let me know when they carry this thread over to the Social Forum... I like to enjoy the ride :)
P.S. let me know when they carry this thread over to the Social Forum... I like to enjoy the ride :)
Gotta another one-
This one actually happened to me
So I went to a private Catholic school and we had mass once a week. Well, in 2nd grade I was picked to do the triangle for one of the songs during mass. So I am up there and I am only supposed to hit it at the end of each chorus. While I got nervous and just started beating the hell out of it. One of the nuns came up and escorted me off
This one actually happened to me
So I went to a private Catholic school and we had mass once a week. Well, in 2nd grade I was picked to do the triangle for one of the songs during mass. So I am up there and I am only supposed to hit it at the end of each chorus. While I got nervous and just started beating the hell out of it. One of the nuns came up and escorted me off
Rush- HA HA- thanks for the laugh. There used to be a website that teachers could post crazy things that they got for homework and test answers. Does anyone know of it? is it still around? I remember looking at it in college.
great stories...
I teach highschool...I have stories...
quick and easy one. Thematic for this weekend...
showed short culture film in my geography class (9th graders), film has a section on China...in the film there were a bunch of fireworks, like over Beijing or somewhere, all Chinese people in the film.
After film one of my kids, a rather dull young lady, raises her hand and asks...get this...
"Do they have the Fourth of July in China?"
I teach highschool...I have stories...
quick and easy one. Thematic for this weekend...
showed short culture film in my geography class (9th graders), film has a section on China...in the film there were a bunch of fireworks, like over Beijing or somewhere, all Chinese people in the film.
After film one of my kids, a rather dull young lady, raises her hand and asks...get this...
"Do they have the Fourth of July in China?"
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