I think I'm in trouble

[ChickieLee]

Hi there. Um. I'm new. I've never been in any kind of treatment or anything. In fact, except for cigarettes (which I quit) and a weed (last smoked a year ago), I've never really had a "problem". However, any time I get access to painkillers or muscle relaxers, I go nuts with them. I take more than necessary hoping for "effects". Now, I'm stealing!  I live with my best friend and have found her Percosets. When she leaves for work in the morning, I take 2. A few hours later I take one more. When she gets home, I look forward to starting all over the next day. Now I've set up an appt with my doctor, planning to whine about back pain (not a lie) and asking for muscle relaxers that I know I'll "abuse". I'm not sure how to stop this - or how to WANT TO. I understand the importance of "want to" from quitting smoking. It won't work without wanting it. What do ya'll think?  

[debsally]

The thing I love about this is that the stories and people are real.  Take the advice you have been given...listen to the cry's of those who have suffered more than you can imagine to get on the other side of this wicked addiction.  You will only have this opportunity to say no to living in hell and yes to a real life.

I hope and hope and hope you say yes to life, my friend.  You wont be sorry!!!

Debbie

[BaronMunchausen]

I would also suggest going to a meeting to get you out of the house. you don't have to speak, just sit and listen.
Many times this sort of thing starts they way it does out of sheer loneliness and a feeling of being "stuck".

So socializing is a good thing. Just introduce yourselves to some of the people afterwards, see who you get a good feeling from, and tell them about your problem. Likely they'll be supportive and it will give you someone to call when you're feeling anxious.

You may also want to get a lockbox for your friend to put the drugs in. Yell her you're worried about your son getting into them "accidentally" (not exactly a lie, i'm sure. I'd worry about that if I had a 13 year old son!)

BE SURE you don't have a copy of the key. :-)

[ChickieLee]

Wow. Well put. Thanks. That line about losing my best friend hit home. We've been friends for over 20 years. I'd just die. :(  
Today is my last day. I'm not taking any tomorrow. I'm done before I really get started. Thank you so much for taking the time to give me a reality check. Everybody. Thanks.

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Everyone here is telling you the truth.  Regardless of how it starts, the pills will turn on you eventually.  It would be great if you could find the answer to "want to" before you do it because of the negative accumulative affects of life and the pills that will hammer you.  A good question to ask yourself would be ...."What would happen if I had an endless supply of the pills?" - - if you spot trouble on the horizon when you answer that one - you need to do something before it all tanks.  Right now you still have everything ...  Why dont you get into some good coffee's and music in the morning instead of the roomies stash?  Take a morning walk - just try and remove yourself from the temptation.  I remember when I got my first long term script for hydro's - - I thought that I was lucky. I wish that I could change that choice..........

[becca1983]

my bad ella that was ment for chickie

[becca1983]

hi. i just came off the path you are on. i would take a few a week, than i got worse. the straw that broke the camels back was i stole a script from my best friend and now i dont have any day to day friends everyone turned there back on me my girlfriend left me i lost my job and have no money.  ..............just a piece of advise......STAY AWAY FROM THE PILLS. you think you are taking them. nope hun they are taking you and they get you before you know what has happened. stop now before you lose it all or even wose you lose your life. you are to important to do this to yourself.i know that tomorrow is not promised but i hope you are around for it. think of it like this if something were to happen to you who is really missing out?  take care and good luck          

[Ella789]

  I would try whatever would take your mind off the pills, I know that if you just want one once in awhile then it's no big deal, but when we start thinking of how to get them then it is no longer a small matter.  Everyone has tried such things, and some just put them down and go on, while others like it so much that it starts to be a craving for them.  Please, stop while you can and be happy living a life that concerns the things that matter.  These pills don't matter, they will drag you down and make you old ahead of time.  I know you want to quit or you wouldn't be on here.  Check out the Substance Abuse forum, read the posts of others there.  Best wishes to you :)
Ella

[flmagi]

You've got a kid that depends on you. Don't go any further with this. Think about your son.
Please.

[flmagi]

Let me look into my crystal ball and tell you your future if you don't stop this now.
You will be losing your best friend soon.
You will probably be losing your place to live. Eventually you will be losing your job.
Your family will probably start avoiding you and talking about you behind your back.
Your priorities will start to get screwed up. Your bills won't get paid. Your teeth will go bad.
You will be spending every waking moment thinking about pills, looking for pills and doing things you never in your life thought you'd do for pills.
You'll start doctor shopping for more pills and your name will get on a list with the pharmacies.
You may start messing with scripts.
You may get busted and go thru withdrawal hell in jail.
You may die of an overdose.
How's that for a bright future?
Stop now, before this really is your future. Don't think it won't happen to you. You're already at the beginning of the road to heII.
Choose not to be a drug addict. Once you are a drug addict, you will always be a drug addict, even if you manage to quit.

[ChickieLee]

Thanks for the support. Great job on 3 months!  After 5 years that must be quite an accomplishment.
As for my friend, I'm pretty sure she thinks she's lost them. I hope, at least. I found them in her room (I didn't really look - came across them) and I don't think she knows they're there.
I don't know why I feel the "need" to be buzzed whenever possible. I guess I need to talk to somebody but I'm afraid they'll think it affects my parenting (single mom to 13 year old boy). I only do it while he's at school.
Thank you for responding. I really needed to reach out and know someone is listening. :)
Deni

[Ella789]

Hi, just wondering, doesn't your friend miss her meds or doesn't she care if you take them?  Sooner or later she will run out and know that she is short on her meds.  

  It's kinds like quitting smoking, hard to do but worth it.  I think you will need alot of will power and determination in order to quit.  The longer you are into the pills the harder it will be to get off of them, I took lortabs for 5 yrs. and it was awful to w/d after so many years of use.  Please, get off the opiate train before it de-rails your life. The opiates consume us without us realizing what has happened.  I have been clean 3 mos. now,  it is worth it to not be chaseing the pills and planning my life around them!  Sure I still crave at times really bad, but so far so good with it.
Best wishes,
Ella