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Pregnancy, Estrogen & Women!!

Pregnancy, Estrogen, and Women

PREGNANCY Q & A & more!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough.  .
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?  A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.  
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?  A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.  A: So what's your question?  
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?  A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.  
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural ?  A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.  
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?  A: Not unless the word 'alimony' means anything to you.  
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?  A: Yes, pregnancy. Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.  
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?  A: When the kids are in college.  

'ESTROGEN ISSUES' 10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE 'ESTROGEN ISSUES'  
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.  
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.  
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.  
5. You 're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: 'How's my driving-call 1- 800-'.  
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.  
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from 'outer space.'  
8. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
9. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.  

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.  
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.  
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.  
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.  AND, the Number One thing only women understand :
1. OTHER WOMEN Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day .

WE ALL NEED a SMILE!  
5 Responses
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Avatar universal
GTMI...you crack me up! It also explains why your marriage has lasted so long!
Helpful - 0
352798 tn?1399298154
Oh yes! maam :)
I need less estrogen, so I cut out SOY. (true)
Helpful - 0
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
I am happily enjoying the estrogen era!!!!!!

GTMI  you have learned some pretty hard lessons havent you!!!!
Helpful - 0
352798 tn?1399298154
Estrogen issue: A man's view
is not an issue. It is a plague.
is man's worst enemy
is knowing ecru, beige off white is all the same, just walk on eggshells and you'll do fine.
I'll get right on fixing the dryer, must be running hot
Let me go to the store and get more Ibuprofen
is; why no, you seem fine
Helpful - 0
401786 tn?1309152034
Well hot damn!  NOW I FINALLY know what's wrong with me!  LOL....I can totally relate to ALL of the estrogen issues.....oh my, I'll just tighten my chin strap now and hold on.....
Helpful - 0

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