Glad to be back

[wantitbad54]

Oh good. I've tried to get back on the forum for quite sometime now. Not the bast at computers.
Okay, I went by a different name before, so its me lonote. Hi!!! And sometimes I see that someone will
wonder how many people just lurch around? Hundreds I bet. I have been for the longest. How have I been doing?
Not so good.In November I had a blood clot on my lungs and well don't ya know, wound up with some meds
again.I didn't argue. Hell I just took them, but I didn't get that warm and fuzzy feeling anymore. I've been on
pain meds off and on for years. With my health issues like asthma and coughing so hard i'd fracture 4 ribs,
sometimes thier just necessary. They changed the meds and gave me something stronger, And I'm sharing this
with you all from the bottom of my heart. I have to tell someone. I hope you all don't think I'm a piece of crap
after I open up to you.I did hit a rock bottom some months ago, and never abused my meds like that again.
Okay, I felt degraded and like crap. Enough to never abuse the meds again. I'm between a rock and a hard place.
One time I took 4 oxy's 15mgm and wasn't used to the stronger med, but I had bad intentions, I was looking for that
warm and fuzzy feeling, and I so messed up, my daughter whom still lives at home 24 yrs old, she's not into
drugs whatsoever, walked in found me at the computer, zoned out. Not just drooling, but foaming at the mouth. She got out her phone and took a little video of me, and showed me what she walked in on. O.M.G.!!! I can't
tell you how I felt. That my friends was a low point. Whats wrong w/me? And  just one year ago my friend was
using and overdosed, and I climbed in threw the window of her apartment, just to find her dead? It could have been me. And poor Jess to find her mom like that.  Enough for now. Its good to be back.   Cathy/wantitbad54

[avisg]

I will check on it ok

[wantitbad54]

well i am corresponding with Claire. I hope she got my reply to her note. Its hard to
get anyone to respond to me out here? I need some friends, Feedback, or someone
I can build a rapport with.I know it will take sometime.But ladies, need feedback, and support.  thx.

[avisg]

yes it is..... they will help you out  I am glad to see ya posting you know how helpful it can be if you need anything I am here ....
avis

[wantitbad54]

I do have a call into medhelp and left my number with them. thanks avisg. Is that so
someone can't go under two names or something?

[avisg]

lonote you need to contact med help so they can get you into your old profile