Need advice please!!

[Tabbykatt]

I'm currently 36 weeks pregnant &my fiancée is really starting to worry me.I've been with him for a year&a half.He smokes marijuana which doesn't really bother me,but he has been using cocaine also.When I met him he said he does it once or twice a year&so far this year its been more than a handful of times.I currently am not living with him but I will be soon. For the past 3 weekends he has told me he has done it on Fridays which I stay the night with him,but I don't stay with him on Saturday nights and I've found certain things that point to him using on Saturdays too. Even found a text on his phone about it.He tells me that he was not using those nights,but I just have that gut feeling about it&have found signs. I don't knowwhat I should do or say. Sorry for venting so long but I need advice PLEASE!!!

[elatedexaddict13]

Wow- Datrix!!!!! I don't think you left anything out! Great post and covering all bases! Hope Tabby is doing well with the baby and hope Dad is still doing well and staying away from those old, addictive habits.

[Tabbykatt]

Thank you very much.The baby is here&he's taken off work to help me out,because I had a ceserean.So far I haven't seen any red flags since I been here with him.He says me&the baby come first before anything. So I'm just going to keep my eyes open.

[Datrix]

I just wanna say to remember who's most important here - your child who will soon be born, which is a huge responsibility even more when having to worry about the father being an addict as well. I had to deal with two fathers of my children being an addict and I will tell you its like taking care of a child as well.

It sounds as though he's already lied to you, which always leads to other lies or more lies. In any relationship, we have to have trust and communication or else that relationship will fail, guaranteed.

It should make you wonder what else he could be doing, since he lied about how often he does the cocaine. He could be very loving and attentive when you visit and spend time together, but when you live together, everything changes. It always does, with any kind of relationship

I would have trust issues by now, and I just want to suggest to really think about moving in with him with your newborn child because of the possible addiction that could be getting more more out of control. His drug use will destroy your self esteem and make you feel second best, and it could take you down financially, if he runs out of money. It never lessons, its always gets worse. They want more and more and more.

I'm sorry to sound so negative, but I have to tell you like it is, what I experienced as well as many other people. Also, remember your newborn will be a toddler in no time and getting into so many things, and I'd hate for him/her to come across daddy's drugs that could possibly be ingested, as they put everything in their mouth. And God forbid if he's turned to needles, if not already. (needles were hidden from me for 18 years! Yes, believe it or not!)

There so many things to think about here. If anything, if you choose to stay with this man because you love him, and believe me, I SO understand, please consider not moving in together, because you're really setting yourself up for a disaster along with your child.

And last but not least, remember what comes along with drugs. Hepatitis, HIV, STDs due too irresponsible, risky behavior. Be safe and I truly wish you the best of luck.