28 Days today ..but who's counting?

[Sharon0255]

Just for today I'm not using. I'm depressed, sleep deprived, no sex drive, bored and lazy, and it's better than being high. I'm not in a prison of opiates today, the cravings are brutal the dreams are all about pills whenever i do get a little sleep and I still want to stay clean. My brain is my enemy right now and I know it. i've exercised so much it hurts. Oh well, I'm going to take it easy maybe just walk tonight. Well I'm off to an AA meeting, going every day. but last night when i couldn't sleep i looked out the window and saw the stars OMG it blew me away so bright and clear can't remember the last time I noticed them, it made me smile inside and I felt part of something real first time in a long time. Thanks to all of you for being part of my journey,Sharon

[Sharon0255]

Thanks to all of you who are on this journey with me. I will keep telling my head to shut up and lowering my expectations. I don't expect to feel good at all so when I get even an hour in a day when I realize I've caught a little break I take a deep breath and say thank you God that wasn't a fake feeling from a pill.
Bkitty and Gnarly I hope you're right about my sev drive and so does my husband. I want it back and to renew my marriage and be able to be intimate again but it all centers in my mind and I'm not al all healed yet, but I have nothing but time. Oh God how I hate all in God's time I'm praying a lot and I know god will answer despair I'm living proof because I'm clean today and therefore not in despair.
Peace xoxo Sharon

[Bkitty]

PS: Your sex drive will return! I used to literally dread relations with my husband and I realize it was because I was so...numb. You will see. It also helped relieve a lot of tension and stress and helped me sleep better too. I just had to get over my brain a little bit for this to change. You will see ;)~Bkitty

[Bkitty]

Hey Girl 28 Days is awsome!! The depression after coming off the pills is really hard to deal with. Its a slow process but after time that connection to your true self and the world becomes real again,,as you got a glimpse last night. NA has been a lifesaver for me too. One day at a time,,baby steps. Try not to overwhelm yourself at this point with the thoughts in your brain. I know how it invades your sleep too,,I dreamt of pills also. That has long since past. Give it some time (((hugs)))~Bkitty

[ricart70]

You are doing great sharon just keep it up!   You seem to be very aware of your mind and the tricks it plays.That is smart

[gnarly_1]

congrats Sharon your off to a good start the bad dreams will leave you the depression will fade and your sex life will come back with a vengence just give it time your going to maker it Sharon just remember it just for today good luck and God bless,,,,,,,,Gnarly

[n8tiv_ndn]

sharon...keep fighting the good fight....I always enjoy seeing the stars or "wicahpi" in Lakota myself.....prayers for you for strength....peace...

n8tiv_ndn
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