waking up from the nightmare.

[bama88]

When i arrived here i was a mess. I had so many misconseptions about drug abusers. I thought not me..my doctor gave me them so that makes it ok. Can anyone say denial?

I.felt so lost and alone. I knew i wasnt using my meds.right. But i still thought its because the doctor doesnt understand. I hurt!! I need more. I didnt want to.face the truth.

The shame.is overwhelming when we come.here. The addiction has taken over. Then thru a higher.power or whatever you believe we find our way here.

And we see we are not alone!! What comfort i found and still.find in that. Then i posted my first question..trying to justify i was not an.addict. But after reading and people i didnt even know responding...i admitted i have a problem.

Admission of addiction is a huge step. The first step.to.recovery. With nuging pushing by dominosarh...and vikki and.ricart...i finally flushed and jumped.

Everyone was ralleying around to catch me when i fell. Help me.stand up. And encourage me about detoxing.

Without all of you id be using and who knows.what else bad would have happened.

What im.saying is to all the new people or if your lurking and setting on the fence. Its not as scarey to.quit as one thinks in our heads. We have become so hooked we cant think a week ahead. For me i was day to day. And that is not living.

I never.knew so many people face the same challenges. Or how scared we all became. The shame and loneliness is overwhelming. Its so hard to ask for the help we need.

Its so.wonderful to know when we ask for help strangers come out of their way to help. And even when we think we cant tell our families...most.know already. They want us back. They miss the real us. Addiction affects our families friends coworkers etc. And they know. They prob.dont understand..but they want us back.

I am.ramblimg..but im.trying to say dont let the fear stop.you. If your scared.to.tell your wife husband boyfriend girlfriend parents etc. Please.do.so. Yes they might get upset. Maybe mad disappointed. But they will.come.around.

Going.to.a.meeting.is scarey too. We think everyone can.see our sins. We think everyone knows. But who.can.see our sins except.god? Who knows what we feel unless we open up.

Its not easy..but you can get clean. Its possible to.do. Its a process. And we are each individuals trying to make our way.

I encourage you to evaluate your situation. And find sobriety. Youll find yourself. And a whole new adventure awaits you.

Take your first step. Reclaim your life. Best to all...bama

[lulu747]

(((BAMMA)))
That was a cyber hug(:
Thank you for posting this...
xo
Lu

[bama88]

My fall was that...not using...going.to meetings...staying focused on self. Allowing.myself to.feel.emotions...proud of.sobriety.

[all_alone1]

this was a wonderful post..it made the tears flow....

i came here not thinking i was an addict...just googles to see how much damage i may be doing to myself...but after reading post after post after post....my eyes were wide opend...because i was shocked to find out i was an addict...never in a million years would i have thought this would be...that i would be here...the only comfort i have found out of all or this is knowing...i am not alone..we are not alone....and we have eachother....

thank you bama...

[aim1023]

beautiful post, thanks for sharing! I KNOW I would be using if it werent for the support of all of you! and I am SO thankful for each and everyone of your inspiring words.!

[dominosarah]

How are doing after your "blip" on the radar?

[bama88]

We find our ways here by the powers to Be...and the one question/emotion i see as.a.pattern is the shame in all.of this..

Along with an empty feeling. We get very lonely. Almost out of touch...even those of.us with families...

We feel like.we.will be tried prosicuted and.stamped a druggie forever if we come.forward with a disease that carries mch stigma..yets its the number one addiction problem in america....pills. So theres millions of us battling everyday...we are not alone..

[bmdad]

What a wonderful post Bama....We all have it in us to dig deep and do what it takes to live a clean and sober life. It's amazing the power that a group of addicts can have on another when they come here looking for the support they so desperately need. We realize we can't do this on our own. This forum is a wonderful place and has saved so many lives. It's hard saying where I would be without each and every person here. I owe my life to everyone here. Every post I have read has had some form of impact on me and helps give me the strength to live another day clean.

We share a special bond that nobody else can understand. Together we can get through this and we will succeed.

Congrats on your new life! I'm proud of you.




Brian

[Texas50881234]

Amen sister!  U have such a beautiful way with words. Almost poetic!  Thanking u for sharing!

[aloneinmyhead]

Real Talk! Amen

[texaslady68]

That was beautiful mdf Bama.  Couldnt not have said it better myself!