Aa
Addiction to pain meds
a little history, i got assaulted in mexico by about 4 guys and got the **** kicked out of me. never went to the doctor, was a tough teenager. now years later i get in a horrible car accident im lucky to survive and my back has never been the same since.
so my doctor's think since im so young (22) that i shouldnt have strong pain killers. i finally got my doc to give me Norco 10/325 (Hydrocodone/apap) and Soma 350mg. this worked ok for a while but now i finish my months supply in 2 weeks so i went to him and asked to be put on something stronger like percocet but he basically laughed and said i was on something plenty strong.
well so i took things into my own hands and now i am on a variety of very strong pain meds unregulated by a doctor. i take OxyContin 80mg, MS Contin 100mg, dilaudid 8 mg, and also get things sent imported to me like pentazocine, codiene phosphate, and morphine. i know i am very addicted now and things have gotten out of control. i mix and match pills for combination reations; i really dont know what to do. i dont shoot up, this all comes from wanting to control my pain but unlimited access to drugs is an easy way for things to go out of control. i really am just venting, i dont want to go on methadone, i just wish my doc would have helped me before i got to this situation. well theres my story.
so my doctor's think since im so young (22) that i shouldnt have strong pain killers. i finally got my doc to give me Norco 10/325 (Hydrocodone/apap) and Soma 350mg. this worked ok for a while but now i finish my months supply in 2 weeks so i went to him and asked to be put on something stronger like percocet but he basically laughed and said i was on something plenty strong.
well so i took things into my own hands and now i am on a variety of very strong pain meds unregulated by a doctor. i take OxyContin 80mg, MS Contin 100mg, dilaudid 8 mg, and also get things sent imported to me like pentazocine, codiene phosphate, and morphine. i know i am very addicted now and things have gotten out of control. i mix and match pills for combination reations; i really dont know what to do. i dont shoot up, this all comes from wanting to control my pain but unlimited access to drugs is an easy way for things to go out of control. i really am just venting, i dont want to go on methadone, i just wish my doc would have helped me before i got to this situation. well theres my story.
are you lurking again. are you being good? i sure hope so. i've got a big day ahead, so i can't stay on posting for long.
just checking everything out, and seeing whose out there. you know i'm on central time. come on out of your shell, and shout
GoodMorning to Everyone!
just checking everything out, and seeing whose out there. you know i'm on central time. come on out of your shell, and shout
GoodMorning to Everyone!
Deal!
BITE ME, BUB!!
You're a friggin' addict just like the rest of us and you're making fun of Laura's spelling and faults because you don't have to balls to sit down and type your own bloody post, do ya?!
Come on, show us all what a man you are. Show Laura you're a better speller, show us your *own* wisdom. Then go look in the mirror and admit, at least to yourself, how ashamed of yourself and scared you are.
Pisses you off that you can't get to me, doesn't it? Use that energy and do something worthwhile.
Post *one* lousy, stinking *anything* of your own and I'll tell you how you can get to me, or I'll come to you. Your choice.
Meagin, bless you and keep you, and li'l Emily, too. As my HP once said, "Don't **** off little, round women, they'll rip out your chest hairs with tweasers".
Hint: I'm a little, round woman, and I'm pissed.
Irishrose and Hinkster: You are confusing me, although I'll admit, that particular task doesn't take much effort. How do you two think the rest of us could live if it weren't for you darling "Co's".
BB!
Wren
You're a friggin' addict just like the rest of us and you're making fun of Laura's spelling and faults because you don't have to balls to sit down and type your own bloody post, do ya?!
Come on, show us all what a man you are. Show Laura you're a better speller, show us your *own* wisdom. Then go look in the mirror and admit, at least to yourself, how ashamed of yourself and scared you are.
Pisses you off that you can't get to me, doesn't it? Use that energy and do something worthwhile.
Post *one* lousy, stinking *anything* of your own and I'll tell you how you can get to me, or I'll come to you. Your choice.
Meagin, bless you and keep you, and li'l Emily, too. As my HP once said, "Don't **** off little, round women, they'll rip out your chest hairs with tweasers".
Hint: I'm a little, round woman, and I'm pissed.
Irishrose and Hinkster: You are confusing me, although I'll admit, that particular task doesn't take much effort. How do you two think the rest of us could live if it weren't for you darling "Co's".
BB!
Wren
I cant believe all the commotion I have caused here,I am so sorry that anyone feels -NO WAIT THAT IS NOT TRUE- i cant believe how much love and concern that i have seen on this thread and I cant believe that some of it was about me.I cant believe so many people are rooting for me,standing up for me,BELIEVING IN ME-Its been a long time since I have felt that someone cared about me,without wanting something,and look ,here all you are,loving me.Thank you.A few weeks ago I would off blown it all off,saying no not me, i dont deserve it,but now I gratefully say thank you-I am becoming what you all are helping me to be,and without alot of you I would never of been able and remain able to get it together.SO ( was going to list names but i would of forgoten someone and someone would of felt bad, thinking they didnt matter,not relizing that it my short term memory that is shot so i wont-SO everyone just thank you.The offer of the patch ,concern of causing the forum trouble and all the suggestions were well needed.Like I said,im managing without the one patch-I was going to call the doctor,but you know Ijust dont want to become known as a seeker to the new doc- I want my name to stand good,with no bad thoughts behind it.Lord knows Ive told enough My dog ate my homework stories,and even though it is true this time I know it will raise flags in her head(because of people like me,what ive done)and as mrmike will tell you,the patch had a long half life,so im ashamed to say it wasnt like I needed to take anything-It was a matter of resuming old patterns in anger.There was no excuse-reasons yes ,but no excuse.And also A very big motivater i am having is that I do not want any records of my drug use-I want to show a realisthic record of regaining control supported by a doctors record of treatment for my addiction .When the **** hits the fan with my husband,and it will- I do not want him to have any issues to control me-and I do not trust him ,as i said he is also a addict but a angry one and in his hast to hurt and control me- I know he will open doors that could harm my daughter,so i am going to have to show on paper ,how I am doing to justify what I have done.And anghts believe me when i tell you I know-IN lifesaving class the 1st thing they teach you is DO NOT TRY TO SAVE ANYONE WHO IS GOING TO TAKE YOU DOWN WITH THEM-we all have to be at least partly responsable and in control or we can kill the very person whos come to save us and that is his reposnability too,he has to let help come close enough to toss him a lifesaver,I do not have to let him push my head underwater so that he can breath.Maybe its true like he says,i can hold my breath longer but you know what I dont want too.Period. He has to learn to help himself,its not my job mon.On that note,I wish you all love and peace laura
Hey Tom- Like angst said don't let one person and apparently I am that " one person" who criticized your post- affect your ability to post. Like I said, I was out of line. I was speaking from past experience thats all.In the past MedHelp has taken a dim view of that kind of thing but since I dont work for them I should just back off. I truly meant you no harm. I could not sleep last night because of this. But I will no longer be posting here. I wish you well and again I am sorry.
1st let me say thank you-your offer meant lot but ive got it undercontrol and you neverknow when youll have a need so keep it tucked in a safe place.but your offer was heartfelt and much appricated for its kindness,it gives me hope in strangers-even though more of u feel like family.I am sorry it took me so long to post but ive been moving along,taking care of things long neglected.I will try to post later .and second I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU ARE EVER WRONG FOR BEGIN KIND<. thanks again laura
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