Addiction

[Tom G.]

Is there an altenative to narcotics for pain relief? I have tried the neurontin, and topomax but they provided NO relief. I get spinal epidurals every six-eight weeks which only provide about 7-10 days relief. 3yrs ago I had a lumbar laminectomy and got a disc space infection from the operation which went undiagnosed for approx. 3.5 months. As a result the infection destroyed what I had left of a Disc and progressed into osteomylitis. The damage caused by the infection required a second operation which involved fusing my vertabrae and installing rods and screws to stabaize my spine. Following the operation I was in ICU for three days. I was MISERABLE. I still have considerable nerve pain in my hip and leg as well as my entire lower back. I am currently being treated by a pain specialist that performs epidurals and perscribes morphine er and ir. I take a total of about 250mg per day which takes the edge off of the pain.
    I have been reading the posts on this board because I know I am taking an extremely addictive medication and am wondering if they are able to correct my back condition am I going to have a problem going off these meds? I have forgotten to take a dose before and started yawning for no reason which I have read is a symptom of addiction??  Thanks in advance for your professional and experienced advice....Tom G.

[Free2agoodhome]

Good lord man,,,,,,,,

judged?  id rather be labled a recovering addict full of hope and promise,,,,than an active addict headed for jail or death before I reach 21,,,,,,,,,,

QUIT NOW !!!!!!!

sorry for the harshness but you're a kid man,,,,dont fk your life up

[gnarly_1]

HI and welcome to the forum....well inpacent is always the best but with a little help you can do this yourself .....best bet is to start reading here get an idea of what is involved in a home detox read read read info in power and you can never know to much.....we have had many members come off 150mg of oxy so it  is very doable start your own post at the top of this screen just go to the post a question box click on it and start a new post you will get a lot more responces good luck and God bless hope to see you for a detox..........Gnarly

[watson932]

I been snorting anywhere from 50-150 mgs of oxycodone a day. I know i have a major problem it has caused me a lot of problems with school family my fiancee and a lot of run ins with the law. Heres the real kicker im only 18.
Im afraid the go to clinics because i dont want to be judged. I have a daughter on the way and i don't want her brought up around this stuff. What should i do?

[cindi]

Hi Linda, first I have to apologize for the post I sent above I can't believe the errors,,My God!!! it was very late at night and I had the lights down so the kids go sleep being that I have Galucoma I am not able to see much at all in the dark..anyway, I wanted to see how Tom was coming along....you guys will get through all of this  You are such a wonderfully caring and compassionate woman who is so very supportive of her husband....he is a very lucky person......Keep us up to dat on how he is doing good luck     cindi

[PS >>>>Annie]

....I've been wondering where he has been, but this is not the same Tom.  I know because, Patrick/thomas posted to "TOM."  They are 2 different people.  
I think I will email Thomas/Patrick......just to let him know we are thinking of him.

Annie

[spook]

Is this the wife of Patrick,also known as Thomas,who has a hot mail address ***@****,if so where is Thomas we miss him.

[spook]

Try to relax a bit,you have not sinned.The scripts are legit,just issued to wrong person and will be processed,it is cross refenced on a data base as to whom a presciption is issued to and by which doctor and at the Pharmacy end same thing happens,at the moment the computers are not up to scanning every script in the USA and checking the data base of the doctors submital information on presciptions written and to whom,if the names you chose are actual People with real addresses then it is very unlikely they will get back to you in the the next decade,however as everything becomes computer automated,eventually,a data base will not correlate with another and an alarm bell will go of,even then it may take DEA`s years to follow it up,And if you are eventually caught,by then compassion and rehabilitation for Drug addicts will be the order of the day.
I once manipulated a script and the Pharmacy told me what I had done and said I cannot process this you bad boy,here I will let you out(they had auto locking doors)and thought I was busted,but some people actually understand the extremes an Opioid Addict in pain and withdrawal will go to, to get relief.
Sad the the DEA`s do not have more compassion.Or is that a generalization?.I think so.

[PS >>>>Annie]

Lynda, I know what he is going through.  This is why I first started coming to this board.  I thought something was wrong w/ me to want this medication.  
I know why he is scared also.  He is worried about being a slave to this medication, and what if its abruptly cut off for some reason.  There is much that goes through a painers mind.  If his doctor is one the highly "informed" ones, than he will titrate the meds down when necessary.  There are ways to take care of the physical dependance....there are meds for this too.  
Best wishes, and God bless you for being so caring.  I know how lonely it can be when you feel that everyones abandoned you, and doesn't understand.  

Love,

Annie

[spook]

Hello,it is obvious that your "partner" is not only not ready to deal with his own emotions,but cannot even come remotely close to feeling empathy for you.
The type of Love that he feels for you is very immature type of Symbiotic Romantic Love,this type of love is illusionary,in that it has not more reason to exist than for sake of the desire it perpetuates and attempts to satiate.
If he is as emotionally immature as I suspect,then he probably is sociopathic,meaning anti-social behavour and a type of self hate.He will blame everybody but himself for any problems that arise.This type of person typically must hit rock bottom before starting to enter the world of "self" realization,he is far from resecting himself and will take decades to repair if ever.
If you can survive without him,wash your hands NOW and say goodbye PERMANENTLY,then put it down to experience.
If you are trapped in the same Symbiotic Romantic Love Addiction that he is,you will not do this and will suffer much pain unnecessarily on his behalf with no reward.
It is time to move on from this person,his mother will look after him and you need to create a stable environment for your children.
I have always said it is harder to give up Romantic Love than any Drug of Abuse,if you can get off this crazy type of love,I think you will be happier,it is difficult,but remember to really LOVE him you must leave him PERMANENTLY and move on and put it all behind you.
You are doing very well,from what I can decipher from written word and I am sure in your heart you think you love him,maybe you do,but he cannot and probably not within a decade be able to return that love ,so please move on in life,I know how much it hurts,but pain is one thing,this relationship is doing "damage".
Some men take a long time to grow up and one must experience much pain to learn,he is running from pain,give him back to his mother,you are already mother to your OWN children.
Maybe when he is 58 he will have his act together,I am not writing him off,its just that it takes time,a lot of time to wear your life with pride and not stumble on your ego.

[susanlea]

Thank you.  I know your right.  I have to leave this relationship behind. I do love him enough to let him go. I stayed with him and stayed loyal to him the past 2 years, and you are right, he is emotionally and mentally stunted. He could not show any emotion other than anger. For the past 2 years he couldn't laugh, enjoy food, movies, nothing. He's like a zombie. He wouldn't want and couldn't have sex, but I hung in there anyway. I finally realized through theraphy and Al-anon that I was an enabler. I got this great book at the Library, 'Facing Love Addiction, by Pia Melody" I recommend this book for everyone. It talks about couples, addictions, and how we relate to each other. I do wish him well, he had everything, now he hardly has anything. Unfortunately he doesn't seem to care. He's aged tremendously from doing drugs, he looks more like 58, than 38 in such a short time. One day at a time, and as Al-anon says 'God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference'. I'm still afraid what he will do if the Dr. cuts him off, I can't imagine a family Dr. giving him methadone, over long periods of time.  I would think the pharmacy would be suspious. Also, I live in Va. there have been major drug busts here, Oxycotin. There have been 37 deaths from overdoses in the past year, theres talk on TV daily about the DEA tracking the use of this drug, by whom and which Drs. I hope it doesn't effect those that really need it for pain. This is a wonderful forum, it's so full of compassion, and a needed dose of reality, thank you so much.   Love Susan

[cindi]

oo many people in this country sfffer needlessly with pain, this past dec. when my my was dyding they refused to increase or change her meds because she might beocme addicted..My God the woman was dying  on christmas morning she passed away and then God we had found a doc that was willing to treat her..Someday when the time is right your husband will not have to take his MS contin, my husband and I are both chronic pain people..so I know how you and Tom feel...You are a very warm a caring person thea loves her husbnnd very much..Good luck to the both you you and Bod blees you     love cindi

[Toms Wife]

G'Morning Everyone!

I want to Thank each and every one of you who responded to Tom's posting about his back pain and use of MS Contin.  I wish I could do it in person, but.....

He HATES being chained to the MS CONTIN more than anything.  He HATES not being able to do the things he used to be able to do less than 2 years ago, and you guys and gals gave him the support, understanding and compassion he needed.  And you told him the same thing I told him...."take your meds and don't suffer unneedlessly".  He's lucky to have a doctor that believes he is in chronic pain and is willing to prescribe the RX's he needs instead of making him suffer on a daily basis.  And he still does, trying to stay at a minimum of a daily dosage.

Yes, he is probably addicted to the MS Contin.  But being the strong man that he is, he will one day he kick the pills, should his back "ever" become somewhat normal.  I have reassurred him that there is help out there once he can start to wean himself off the drug.  He's more physically addicted than mentally. Even though, mentally he tears himself up when he has to take more than usual.  He absoulty hates the stuff!  He never takes more than he has to (and if he does, he is bed ridden) and that's a minimum amount as it is.  I have seen him in pain, but refusing to dose himself to relieve it and try to continue on with life.

He's more of a lurker here, but does pretty much read your postings on a daily basis (if he can get on the computer:) and listens to what YOU say.

One day, hopefully, he won't be in so much pain.  Then "WE" can use the info we have found on this site to work our way back to a somewhat normal life again without his usage of MS Contin.  But for right now and in the near future, our lives revolve around him taking the RX to give him a somewhat "normal and decent" quality of life.  Luckily, the Pharmacist is a friend of mine and knows what is going on, so we don't have to deal with people looking down their noses at him.  Our family and close friends also know what is going on, and don't judge him.  He is more harder on himself than anything and he shouldn't be.  He didn't ask for the infection and osteomylitis, which has partially disabled him.  It was just bad luck that the Neuro Surgeon poo pooed his pain off as post-op pain, even four months after the 1st surgery.

One day technology will advance to where his problems can be take care of, at least somewhat, to where the lesser drugs can relieve the extreme pain he is in.  Hopefully that day will come soon.

Again, Thank You from the bottom of my heart, in the support and understanding that you have shown him.  He's a Good Man who drew the short straw when it came to back surgery.

"Toms Wife".............Lynda

[neenie]

close call was from the pharm, where i was illegally trying to seek meds. so i had 2 scripts that were not made out 2 me but someone else and i ripped them up b/c i will never d o that again. i know the trouble i can get into. the pharm who never usually calls the doc called the doc yesterday to verify if it was legit. the doc said no and guess what? i work with that doc. that is why i know all the info that needs 2 go on these scripts. spook, do they regulate these scripts? for the ones i have done in the past, does the dea audit them? they have other people's names on them. not mine but they all come from the same hosp and the pharm. all recognize me now, that's why they started to call now. b4 they would just give me the meds but i guess i did  it too much so now he has been verifying. can years go by and then they still find out?

[spook]

There is "Hope",but who is the mother now? and whose children will mother theirs?
You will find time cures this pain and as I said before DYING IS NATURAL.

[susanlea]

You seem to be a very knowlegable person, I've been reading the forum and have paid attention to the advice you've given others, you also helped me out with a question about methadone. I told you before I had, had a boyfriend for 5 1/2 years. Well about 2 years ago he got some oxy's from a friend and immediately he liked them, he would chew about 40 to 60 mgs at a time, long story short, he was up to about 300mg a day. The worst thing was I have chronic spinal problems, I've taken narcotics on and off for a few years, never more than I should, and he was taking as many pills from me as he could get. He got to a point he was sick all the time, terrible withdrawals, he wanted to die. After being sick for 8 weeks, I finally talked him into going into detox, he was in for 5 days. When he came out he had a great sponser, and went to meetings(required by insurance)for about 6 weeks. During this time, he became very mean, abusive,withdrawn and tired all the time. He moved into another room. I found he had stolen my pills from me, I thought I had hid them well. I called his sponser,friends, family to do an intervention to get him back into rehab. His mother called him and told him that I was out to hurt him and she knew it was all my fault, his addiction. He didn't show. He would threaten to move, wouldn't eat with us, became a shut in,always in his room. Finally I couldn't take anymore, my kids were unhappy.  He moved out the first week of December, and within a week he was coming back,trying as he said to work things out. But he started stealing my pills, and begging me for more, I took 50 pills and flushed them, no more. He became sick again, a month, claimed it was the flu. He went to his dr. and got lots of Methadone. 4 weeks ago he moved out again, he had become,mean, distant,and verbally abusive again. I talked with him the other day, and he says he's still on methadone, no programs, no sponser. He's very angry, it seems at me. He acts like everythings my fault and hates me. This has been a very painful time for my kids and me. I have a sponser in Al-anon and attend meetings weekly. I don't know what to do, we can't seem to even talk. The question I have(sorry it's so long) is, does methadone make an addict act like this, or does he hate himself, I'm trying to get a grasp on anything here, we miss him and love him so much, but I can't help him anymore. When does an addict seek help? Do they have to lose everything? He's lost his kids pretty much, me, and close to losing his job. Guess who's taking care of a 38 year old, his mom, and she will do ANYTHING for him. Thanks for letting me spill this out, I'm just at my wits end and in tears over this, 5 1/2 years gone.....Love Susanlea

[Hope]

Just wanted to thank you all for your postings.  The help and hope I receive from hearing how you are all surviving and continuing to try, gives me hope.  Cindi, I swear, you are such an inspiration to me after all you have been through and then managed to stay clean and sober and sane!  I have had some very similar experiences and can really relate and I soooo needed that tonight. Fortunatley however, so far, I have been able to elude any legal consequences....how? I don't know!  I have lucked out of some crazy ****.  I appreciate every single one of you and am too sleepy and sick (102 temp.) to expound right now on how each of you have uniquely(sp?) spoken to and helped me. The encouragment I received tonight from just reading ALL of your posts has made life seem worth living one more day. God bless you all tonight.

[spook]

If you have the,time,money and freedom,you are more than welome.
I will ring my Internet service Povider and ask what is going on,they can check their log files.I have recieved email even today from usa and Aus,so I am not sure,I will fix it.I am not playing around with Computer security systems(hotmail) again,well for a while,it stareted this whole problem,they know a lot more about computers than me by far!.
I am just going back to my original ISP with email address of ***@****

[cindi]

Thanks for your comments, yes, my life was such a mess for a very long time and thank God Ididn't go over the edge, I have the 2 most precious children and wonderful husband, my problems led into my addiction, which in turn led me to NA which in turn led me to my husband and now my children,, God works in mysterious ways..now if I could get beyond my mom's death maybe I'll see light again...thank you for your post,  love cindi

[cindi]

Hi Hon,  thank you for the compliment re: my above post,  Annie, I am not all that strong, I did almost lose my marbles,  I became very depressed.  took a long time before I went back to work like maybe 3 years...My mom was always there for me and very supportive..she knew how I was suffering and in so much pain..emotional pain...I closed my eyes to sleep and heard baby cries, i heard a baby yelling help...God, it was awful But, at the same time I knew that I had no choice but to go on, I was not letting another person beat me down,,,I knew I still had a whole life in front of me I was just 23 or24,  I knew someday I would meet my soulmate and if God saw fit  and that's a big IF that I would have a child..when i was told I may not conceive i felt like God was punishing me...now look what I have...I still think about it, cry about it but like I said above my baby is in heaven now with it's grandma...Hey there...I miss your e-mails  
on my way to bed...bad day..fridge broke what a mess...talk to yall soon  love  cin

[cindi]

Hey there,  thanks for the Hello,  i tried the e-mail again with my attachment and it came back...what should I do?  I know, hop a plane and visit the land down under,  I have always wanted to see a koala bear, i enjoyed hearing from you re: those cute little critters...Hey, today is the 17th, hope all is ok with you drop me a line and let me know what is going on with things.....love cin

[cindi]

Hey there girly, i missed you...haven't even seen your name on my buddy list..i was beginning to get a little concerned about you...glad to see yo are hanging in there..sometimes it takes more than one try...it will happen  too bad I didn't save the BUP from the hospital but i'm sure it would have been expired my now anyway..keep in touch   love cin

[PS >>>>Annie]

lmao.......So that's what Spook has been up too.  This is too much. lol

[PS >>>>Annie]

You've briefly mentioned your happenings, but never in detail.
Thanks for sharing it.  You are a STRONG woman!!!! Don't ever let anyone tell you any different.  You've come out of THAT w/ all your marbles intact.  Man you are something else....I'd be committed years now, if that happend to me.  How did you ever get through it.  I'll never understand.  YOUR tough!  YOU GIVE ME HOPE!!
lOVE YA!

ANNIE

[spook]

Hello