Tell me I can do this...

[Kirstin83]

I want to be clean for 2014. I just need support. I am battling about a 3 year addiction with hydrocodone. I was clean for about 4 months and jumped off the wagon. So here I am 2 months later at about 60 mg a day. Not as bad as I was before but headed in that direction. I know the drill of withdrawls, I have been through it. Right now I need support more than anything.

[On2better]

Yes you CAN! we've all reached that point of desperation. This is a gift. It motivates change. So you have big changes ahead and that's never easy but so so so worth it. Dump the pills, don't look back,a nod take each day as it comes. You have lots of support here

[Jenny9906]

This site is amazing...and the support you get is top notch.  Definitely stick around here.  I think a lot of us have this dark secret...and it's really refreshing to be able to come here and be fully open about everything. I too have been battling the hydros...after being on and off of them for probably 7-8 years.  I have kept relapsing for the same reason you have said...lack of motivation.  When I don't take the pills I have zero motivation to do anything.  I hate feeling that way so much that I have relapsed more times than not. I really need to find a way to deal with that.  That is where I am at now.  I quit the hydros on Dec 7...had a week around day 16 where I had a medical issue that required percs...now I've been on nothing again...and also doing nothing,  trying to stay positive and hoping that things get better.  I know we all can do this! :)

[Whollymolythathurt]

Hey Kirstin.  I was in same boat Dec 1.  I took hydro for 3 years and decided I was tired of the roller coaster ride.  It was a secret also.  My only saving grace I guess is I didn't keep upping the dosage...then again I didn't need it at times.  You've been threw it before so you know what to expect.  

This site offers great support so keep checking in.  You can do this girl!  

[motye51]

Doing it with you....if I can do it you can do it.  On day 2 now, and it ***** but I keep hearing that once you come out on the other end, it's much better and I for one, believe this!

[Kirstin83]

Thank you guys for the encouragement. I just feel like I lack the motivation I did last time. I just am so down on myself for relapsing. My addiction is a secret so it just gets lonely keeping it all in

[petsrule]

you can do it.  It will  be miserable.  I am on day 20, after a week good and then took for a week.  this place will give you strength.  I am in it myself but it is better than all the things, mental and physical, mainly mental, that come with using.  I would rather work with my pain issues with a clear head.  I still get shivers when I think of the drugged state, how much do I have, taking to get somewhere I could no longer get to; hiding from everyone and everything, wanting to scream HELP and not knowing what to do.  You can do this... not easy, still isn't, but sooooo much better than drugged.

[VICourageous]

YES YOU CAN DO IT!!! Get back on that horse and ride toward the Sunset..This time take a NEW PATH!! Make sure you get LOTS of Support..This Journey into our Recovery can not be walked alone..We will be here to cheer for you all the way..We can give you some tips on the Vit/Min or even OTC things that were used to help ease the w/ds a bit. Make sure right now you drink plenty of Fluids..You must flush the poisons out. Please do not put a Time Limit on this..It all depends on what Drug, how many mg in one day, how many Years and Age & Health. I have seen people bounce back quickly Physically, but we ALL have to deal with the Mental waves. I am no young chic and I c/t off of 3 drugs almost 16 Months ago..I am No better then anybody else, but mine was a bit long due to the type of meds that did not like to let go. I wish you all the best..Maybe due some research about "The Disease of Addiction" and also this Disease and the Pleasure Pathway Beyond Willpower. This info has put a light on things for me as well as My Meetings, Church and some one on one..Take that First Step Again!!
Bless

[Kirstin83]

How much/ what were you using

[3Xs_U_R_Out]

Built it up more in my head **
Sorry I hate phone autocorrects

[3Xs_U_R_Out]

I myself tried a couple of weeks ago and failed and prior to that I tried tapering and failed many times.
What I've discovered for me...is I built it up more in my grad than what it really is. The physical part is doable...so far.
The emotional stuff is a little harder to deal with but most people here will tell you that's where aftercare comes in.
You need to set up some counseling or therapy or NA/AA meetings or something.
Adduction lies in the root of something. Find what it is you are trying to mask/numb in your life.
Also in the immediate...find some goal to focus on. If you are at all a determined or strong willed person, use that.
Each hour ...each minute is an accomplishment and pushes you farther.
Right now ...it's overwhelming and scared because its unknown. You CAN do it!
Seriously!

[Kirstin83]

I just dread the physical parts of it but more than anything the emotional stuff. I was doing so good, I was so motivated. I let my guard down and here I am

[3Xs_U_R_Out]

You CAN do this!
I'm at 3 days clean right now and although I'm uncomfortable from withdrawals, it's not killing me. I can still function. I may be lacking in the cleaning and motivation and energy departments, but it's a small price to pay to he clean and be present in my life.
Every day...no every hour without I'm getting stronger and stronger.
You CAN do this!