Aa
Am I addicted?
This is the first time I have admitted to anyone let alone myself I might have a problem.
I started having panic attacks over a year ago due to a divorce, job change, move etc. My dr. prescribed Diazapham. It worked. But I also drink as well, probably 3-4 glasses of wine a night. I am now seeing a social worker and have an appointment with a psychatrist this week for meds. They currently put me on Prozac, which I can't take, makes me have terrible anxiety, tremors, sweats etc. Stopped taking at at once. I am also taking Zanax. 5mg once a day. It makes the panic subside but not for as long of periods of time as it did before. I am worried that the jitters I get are alcohol related as well. Is combining the 2 at such a low dose truly dangerous and how do I just stop drinking? I want to be able to have a glass of wine with friends but not every night.
Any suggestions? I am in a very lonely place right now and would appreciate the help.
I started having panic attacks over a year ago due to a divorce, job change, move etc. My dr. prescribed Diazapham. It worked. But I also drink as well, probably 3-4 glasses of wine a night. I am now seeing a social worker and have an appointment with a psychatrist this week for meds. They currently put me on Prozac, which I can't take, makes me have terrible anxiety, tremors, sweats etc. Stopped taking at at once. I am also taking Zanax. 5mg once a day. It makes the panic subside but not for as long of periods of time as it did before. I am worried that the jitters I get are alcohol related as well. Is combining the 2 at such a low dose truly dangerous and how do I just stop drinking? I want to be able to have a glass of wine with friends but not every night.
Any suggestions? I am in a very lonely place right now and would appreciate the help.
I know the feeling of loneliness. I ended a long-term relationship last winter. My boyfriend was a control freak, and I basically gave up my friends and hobbies to be with him. So naturally, when I finally got the courage to end the relationship, I was left with no friends or life of my own.
Being a hydrocodone addict, I decided to spend every night numbing the pain. And I agree--it's an awful feeling to know that I'm filling a void by abusing a substance. I'm afraid to truly feel that loneliness, and face myself and the mistakes I've made--so I either take a few pills, drink a few beers...or both. Not a good combo, I know. Sometimes I think I'm on a slow path of destruction...and all this, just to avoid loneliness and facing myself.
Someone wrote about driving in a car and feeling anxiety / loneliness. For me, it's being home alone that makes me feel anxious. Not only do I feel lonely and scared, but I also have a tendency to sit on my couch in a narcotic haze, as I posted several months ago. So to avoid all this, I actually leave work at dinnertime, get take-out food, and drive around for hours. I don't want to go home, because I know I'll crack open a beer or stare at the TV for hours to avoid feeling anything. So instead, I've literally put thousands of miles on my new car, just driving around at night. Thank god the price of gas has gone down, or I wouldn't be able to support this new habit.
I think you've taken some huge steps and made tremendous progress, just in the period of time since your first post. You've admitted that you might have a problem and you've asked for help. That's huge. Most people get stuck in denial for years and years (like me).
Someday I'll have the courage to join you. Until then, you're in my thoughts...Good luck, and welcome.
Leigh
Being a hydrocodone addict, I decided to spend every night numbing the pain. And I agree--it's an awful feeling to know that I'm filling a void by abusing a substance. I'm afraid to truly feel that loneliness, and face myself and the mistakes I've made--so I either take a few pills, drink a few beers...or both. Not a good combo, I know. Sometimes I think I'm on a slow path of destruction...and all this, just to avoid loneliness and facing myself.
Someone wrote about driving in a car and feeling anxiety / loneliness. For me, it's being home alone that makes me feel anxious. Not only do I feel lonely and scared, but I also have a tendency to sit on my couch in a narcotic haze, as I posted several months ago. So to avoid all this, I actually leave work at dinnertime, get take-out food, and drive around for hours. I don't want to go home, because I know I'll crack open a beer or stare at the TV for hours to avoid feeling anything. So instead, I've literally put thousands of miles on my new car, just driving around at night. Thank god the price of gas has gone down, or I wouldn't be able to support this new habit.
I think you've taken some huge steps and made tremendous progress, just in the period of time since your first post. You've admitted that you might have a problem and you've asked for help. That's huge. Most people get stuck in denial for years and years (like me).
Someday I'll have the courage to join you. Until then, you're in my thoughts...Good luck, and welcome.
Leigh
Hey guys
Thanks
I had an appt. with a psychiatrist this weekend regarding the meds. He diagnosed me with severe panic disorder. Surprise huh? Anyway, he changed me from the Prozac, which I stopped anyway, to Celexa. We are starting slow and building up my tolerance. He also said to continue with the Zanax, but ween off onto Klonopin. Hopefully we are on the right track. I also slowed down the drinking. I think I was doing it for the anxiety. It's still there, all the time, but I am hopefully on the right track. It's amazing how posting and seeing someone can take the load off.
To hear others that can really relate is wonderful.
KStuebin, I understand the anxiety completely. I am going to today to get a book/audio on breathing techniqes. The dr. said it would really help. Am also looking into yoga. The gym is a lifesaver for me. Have you tried either? Try and not be alone too much. That is what (I have found) the anxiety makes me want to do. But in the end it's just you alone with the anxiety and that turns to depression. Good luck.
Thanks WW and Francoise. I appreciate the advice and support once again.
LPB
Thanks
I had an appt. with a psychiatrist this weekend regarding the meds. He diagnosed me with severe panic disorder. Surprise huh? Anyway, he changed me from the Prozac, which I stopped anyway, to Celexa. We are starting slow and building up my tolerance. He also said to continue with the Zanax, but ween off onto Klonopin. Hopefully we are on the right track. I also slowed down the drinking. I think I was doing it for the anxiety. It's still there, all the time, but I am hopefully on the right track. It's amazing how posting and seeing someone can take the load off.
To hear others that can really relate is wonderful.
KStuebin, I understand the anxiety completely. I am going to today to get a book/audio on breathing techniqes. The dr. said it would really help. Am also looking into yoga. The gym is a lifesaver for me. Have you tried either? Try and not be alone too much. That is what (I have found) the anxiety makes me want to do. But in the end it's just you alone with the anxiety and that turns to depression. Good luck.
Thanks WW and Francoise. I appreciate the advice and support once again.
LPB
I don't have much time, so I'm gonna be to the point.
You MUST stop drinking and taking benzos like Xanax.
Get off the Xanax and the other "-pam" and get on Klonopin. It's a "pam" as well, but has a half-life far, far longer than that damned Xanax. And it's a hell of a lot easier to get off of.
CAUTION: You just can't stop taking a benzo, especially Xanax. It can and will cause deadly seizures if you just stop taking it cold turkey. You've got to taper ANY benzo. Tapering too fast off these very effective anti-anxiety drugs cause, get this, intense anxiety. But you can taper down to about a quarter millimeter of Klonipin and then switch to Valium (another benzo, a -pam as well) and then taper off that. You've got to be careful with this.
What you are doing to yourself with the mixture of drugs and alcohol that you're taking now is deadly.
Come back soon? Tell us how you're doing and what the shrink had to say?
Francois
You MUST stop drinking and taking benzos like Xanax.
Get off the Xanax and the other "-pam" and get on Klonopin. It's a "pam" as well, but has a half-life far, far longer than that damned Xanax. And it's a hell of a lot easier to get off of.
CAUTION: You just can't stop taking a benzo, especially Xanax. It can and will cause deadly seizures if you just stop taking it cold turkey. You've got to taper ANY benzo. Tapering too fast off these very effective anti-anxiety drugs cause, get this, intense anxiety. But you can taper down to about a quarter millimeter of Klonipin and then switch to Valium (another benzo, a -pam as well) and then taper off that. You've got to be careful with this.
What you are doing to yourself with the mixture of drugs and alcohol that you're taking now is deadly.
Come back soon? Tell us how you're doing and what the shrink had to say?
Francois
Xanax is very addictive and there have been cases of physical dependency with low doses in as short as a time as two weeks. I did a lot of research on this topic. I would imagine withdrawl symptoms would be less severe but I don't know that for a fact. Since I quit Xanax, via Valium weaning, I am having horrible axiety. Some days I just cry and cry, because I feel so awful. The withdrawl was different. I would describe it as anxiety with a twilight zone component.
LPB, long old story re my not posting. Obviously, I'm posting again. I'm so happy to have a fellow benzo abuser to talk to..there aren't many of us on here...probably too zoned out to boot up the PC :) I was also prescribed Xanax for anxiety and have abused alcohol in the past so I think JB is right and they do go hand in hand.
LPB, long old story re my not posting. Obviously, I'm posting again. I'm so happy to have a fellow benzo abuser to talk to..there aren't many of us on here...probably too zoned out to boot up the PC :) I was also prescribed Xanax for anxiety and have abused alcohol in the past so I think JB is right and they do go hand in hand.
Hi again,
I'm not a Doctor, and not as familiar with pharmacology as some others might, but if you have been taking the xanax every day since Nov 13th, what you are feeling is probably rebound anxiety. I could be wrong, but I don't think if you have taken it once a day you'd build up enough of a constant blood level to have developed full blown physical dependancy. Can anyone correct me on this if I"m wrong, please?
What you can build up that fast though, is tolerance, so that the same amount of the xanax no longer works as well. That is how it starts..People need to take higher and higher amounts, and then start taking them more than once a day, and before you know it, you've got a dangerous physical addiction going.
If you've had alcohol in the amounts you describe, 1 to 3 glasses of wine a night I think you said, you won't have developed physical dependance on it, but you could definately have developed emotional and psychological dependance.
So, it sounds to me like you are probably not in physical withdrawal (again, someone please correct me if I'm wrong), but are having rebound anxiety along with your panic attacks.
Is your therapist also an MD who prescribes the meds for you? If not, get a referral to an MD Psychiatrist for a medication evaluation. There are good meds out there that treat panic disorder without creating physical addiction. Also, when you have panic disorder, you have to work to retrain your nervous system to respond less intensely to anxiety. This is where the nuts and bolts of therapy come in. Deep breathing, imagery work, retraining your internal dialogue, all are part of it. Combined with medication, this kind of therapy can help panic disorder well. I am a therapist, and have worked many times with folks who have panic disorder and anxiety disorders. The Benzo meds, like valium and xanax, are good for short term management of the disorder, but they do nothing to treat the underlying cause. The underlying cause needs to be treated within the brain's neurotransmitter system, as well as the psychological system. It also sounds like you are going through a lot of loss, given your divorce and loneliness, so my heart goes out to you. I really hope you can find a good support system and rebuild your life into one in which you can flourish!
love,
WW
I'm not a Doctor, and not as familiar with pharmacology as some others might, but if you have been taking the xanax every day since Nov 13th, what you are feeling is probably rebound anxiety. I could be wrong, but I don't think if you have taken it once a day you'd build up enough of a constant blood level to have developed full blown physical dependancy. Can anyone correct me on this if I"m wrong, please?
What you can build up that fast though, is tolerance, so that the same amount of the xanax no longer works as well. That is how it starts..People need to take higher and higher amounts, and then start taking them more than once a day, and before you know it, you've got a dangerous physical addiction going.
If you've had alcohol in the amounts you describe, 1 to 3 glasses of wine a night I think you said, you won't have developed physical dependance on it, but you could definately have developed emotional and psychological dependance.
So, it sounds to me like you are probably not in physical withdrawal (again, someone please correct me if I'm wrong), but are having rebound anxiety along with your panic attacks.
Is your therapist also an MD who prescribes the meds for you? If not, get a referral to an MD Psychiatrist for a medication evaluation. There are good meds out there that treat panic disorder without creating physical addiction. Also, when you have panic disorder, you have to work to retrain your nervous system to respond less intensely to anxiety. This is where the nuts and bolts of therapy come in. Deep breathing, imagery work, retraining your internal dialogue, all are part of it. Combined with medication, this kind of therapy can help panic disorder well. I am a therapist, and have worked many times with folks who have panic disorder and anxiety disorders. The Benzo meds, like valium and xanax, are good for short term management of the disorder, but they do nothing to treat the underlying cause. The underlying cause needs to be treated within the brain's neurotransmitter system, as well as the psychological system. It also sounds like you are going through a lot of loss, given your divorce and loneliness, so my heart goes out to you. I really hope you can find a good support system and rebuild your life into one in which you can flourish!
love,
WW
thank you everyone.
i am really confused now. you guys have been doing this discussion thing for a while and i am not totally familiar with the lingo.
i want to clarify i rechecked my bottle and it is 0.5mg, if i was taking 5mg i'd be comatose! thank you witchywoman for pointing that out (and wish you the best with your hearing). i have only taken 12 zanac,since Nov. 13th. Can you become addicted and have withdrawls that fast? i was taking valium sporadically for the past 3 months, not daily though. if so, panic or no panic, i am going to suffer through not taking them. maybe it is alcohol withdrawls? this is so miserable to admit. i didn't think i drank that much. last night i only had a glass of wine. very proud of myself.
Shotsy, thank you. You are very kind and I appreciate your warmth.
KStuebin, I appreciate you taking the time to post. For whatever reason you didn't want to, thank you. I never knew anything about drugs before. I had never taken anything really until the last year. And to think, trying to get better.
Butterbean, thank you as well. Dealing with lonliness is the hardest part i think. driving home from work last night i had the worst panic attack yet. i am glad i am in therapy i just wish i knew a way to make the panicky feelings subside. driving is the worst. you want to take something for the panic but don't want to take anything. ughhh.
Frankie Lee and J.B. thank you both for your adivce and support. I will continue to post and thank all of you for your acceptance.
One day at a time.
i am really confused now. you guys have been doing this discussion thing for a while and i am not totally familiar with the lingo.
i want to clarify i rechecked my bottle and it is 0.5mg, if i was taking 5mg i'd be comatose! thank you witchywoman for pointing that out (and wish you the best with your hearing). i have only taken 12 zanac,since Nov. 13th. Can you become addicted and have withdrawls that fast? i was taking valium sporadically for the past 3 months, not daily though. if so, panic or no panic, i am going to suffer through not taking them. maybe it is alcohol withdrawls? this is so miserable to admit. i didn't think i drank that much. last night i only had a glass of wine. very proud of myself.
Shotsy, thank you. You are very kind and I appreciate your warmth.
KStuebin, I appreciate you taking the time to post. For whatever reason you didn't want to, thank you. I never knew anything about drugs before. I had never taken anything really until the last year. And to think, trying to get better.
Butterbean, thank you as well. Dealing with lonliness is the hardest part i think. driving home from work last night i had the worst panic attack yet. i am glad i am in therapy i just wish i knew a way to make the panicky feelings subside. driving is the worst. you want to take something for the panic but don't want to take anything. ughhh.
Frankie Lee and J.B. thank you both for your adivce and support. I will continue to post and thank all of you for your acceptance.
One day at a time.
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