Anxiety sky rocketing tonight

[killerwds]

I have to say the last couple of hours have been really hard.  My life is pretty messed up and trying to face everything coming up is really weighing on me.  I lost my job last January, had to sell my house, move back in with my dad and I cannot find a job.  I'm planning on going back to school this January, but it is a daunting task.  It will take me at least 2.5 years to finish my new degree and I'm just scared.  I can't believe the situation I'm in.  One major reason I'm getting off suboxone is I feel as though I will be better off long run not being on something that dulls my mind while in school.  I'm just freaking out right now because I have to figure out how to pay for everything, how to make it so far without a crutch.  I've had one for so long I don't know how to handle it without one.  I'm praying that the anxiety will level out, but I just am scared.  That being said, I also tend to work myself up at night because I can't sleep and nights are so long and so hard on me.  I'm better than I was a week ago....but I'm not better.  Any advice or encouragement would be great because I'm getting really worked up.

[Kbusymom]

The anxiety is a huge part of the process and very normal.  It happens to everyone when they stop their DOC.  It was a topic at an AA mtg I went to and everyone said they went through it.  
I'm going through it as well on many different levels; to get through it, I'm just trying to stay in today and take things one step at a time.  Tomorrow's worries are for tomorrow.  
Keep sharing; we are all here for you.  I also think the lack of sleep makes the anxiety worse, but again, just part of the process we have to push through.
Sending prayers; we're in this together.  So grateful for the support on this site.  

[tooter212]

Hey Killer at my age I just as soon not know. I'll just stay young at heart!!!!

[killerwds]

I am definitely better than like 4 days ago...significantly.  I'm still having bouts with anxiety and I still can't sleep.  I think a lot of the reason I'm doing better is I have dropped expectations as to what I "should" be doing sleep wise and I'm just trying to take what ever comes my way.  I still have rls, leg cramps, upset stomach occasionally and manic thoughts, but compared to even just those 4 days ago I'm significantly better.  I know I have a ways to go and that's fine......I did this to myself over a very long time and I'm just really looking forward to seeing who I really am.  I've heard that drug abuse stunts your personal growth, as in you don't mature at the same rate when on drugs.  I wonder what age maturity wise I really am?  

[meegWpaw]

killer, you seem so much better than you were just a few days ago.  the anxiety and ensuing feelings are a b*tch, very hard to deal with for me and many im sure.  just keep in mind and keep telling yourself that nights and early mornings are really a prime breeding ground for such thoughts and once the cycle starts they snowball.  the reality of everything you're worrying about is undoubtedly far less daunting than the way you imagine it.  sounds like you have been through a lot what with the house and all.  give yourself credit for dealing with what you've been through and for the courage you're showing in making such great future plans.  distraction, distraction, distraction!  do something to take your mind off it.  it's hard to do but worth trying.  you're doing great!

[Im_an_overcomer]

Come on my friend.. I'm on day 15 with no suboxone.. It's been a pretty rough day but it's still doable. I couldn't magine putting myself through the last two weeks again! I know your on your 4 th week right or almost.. That's an accomplishment my friend. I mean we been on something for so long, we have to put as much into being clean as we did into using. Before suboxone it's as a vicious circle with dope. Coming off suboxone after 3 years has been amazingly hard but I can do it. So can you. I'm a boss of a large electrical job site. I can't be off, show any signs of issues and push all my guys through the day. Lack of energy just hurts me sometimes . I push on anyway. I pray and ask God to help me . Just find something to get your mind off it . You can do this if I'm doing it.. .. I have faith in you . Don't give up and continues to take your life back.. U got this, we got this!!!

[BarbRTR]

Going back to school is so worth it, and will be wonderful for you. I went and got a new degree a few years back. Think about in a few months when you're actually in school. Proud of yourself for doing it. Busy meeting new people. And busy busy with your assignments. By then your anxiety will be less just from passage of time. But even more so because you're actually doing something to keep your mind occupied, and of course better your marketable skills.. This will lead to a new job, out of dads and into your own house.

You're lucky to be able to go to school. And absolutely, the whole experience will be better drug free. Congratulations.

[ouchie1987]

I heard the best advice the other day... Cuz I'm dealing with a lit n my anxiety I'd thru the roof
Whether u worry or whether u don't, the outcome will still be the same
Try not to think too far ahead. Take it one day at a time
Keep posting your feelings on here, vent all u want.. it sure helps me!!