Hi

[YepOnceAgain]

I am going to say I am new here. I was on years back......so long ago I couldn't remember my password lol I am what i say is a born again addict. Like a born again virgin. I was an addict....then stopped for a long time......only to be an addict again. Not like I was but sure the hell not clean. I know once an addict always an addict, right? True....very very true. Night time is the worst when you are withdrawing. Or in mycase this evening worried Cuz I have 5left and tomorrow is not a for sure score. I'm nervous. I hate feeling like ****.  But I need to stop again. This life is ridiculous and I am so pissed I did it to myself yet again.

[YesLife4Me]

I can tell you from experience that looking at the bottom of that bottle wondering if your source will come through or not is a scary feeling.  At that point I always had a choice of keep trying to score or just go through wd and put it behind me.  Well, as long as I had a source, I always gave in.  Those pills always called out to me and won.   You've done this before and I'm sure it started with you feeling like you could control your useage and it took over.  It's ok, we have been there done that.  I hope you make the right choice and join us again.  :))

[Pat1956100]

Welcome back
Hope you can make it this time.  You know the drill.
It's tough and it's rough but the other side is so much better.
Keep fighting.

[ang_811]

Are u really wanting to get clean? The reason I ask is bc we will go to great lengths to get sober and we defiantly have to do things that r hard like cutting off the dealers. I know its Scarry BC we r used to having that crutch. Trust me when I say it will make u stronger. Be like Nike and just do it.

Get sum aftercare. U can do this. U only have to withdrawal once and that's is.

Stronger than yesterday.

[Rekovrd]

I felt the same way. Seems every few years I was addicted to something. Now I recognize those patterns much like you are had to make a change. Don't ever give up on yourself. You've done this before and you can do it again. Then consider after care to help break the cycle.

Best of luck.

[dominosarah]

You need to cut your sources off.  Keeping that door opens allows us to continue to live this insanity.  Have you thought about aftercare?