Any fellow nurses out there want to share stories/support ?

[Cira30]

Everyone knows the nursing field is such a temptation and so many nurses fall to the temptation. I had taken hydros/norcos recreationally long before my nursing days. When I became a nurse I worked on a med surg floor, never diverted a pill, never thought of if. I worked with several nurses who had been through rehab and I had to witness their narcotics being given. I worked with several more who went to rehab and I never saw them again. I had come to know some of these nurses, they would get caught, I would be in shock. Never suspected it from the majority. They were mothers, Christians, precious women. So I knew then ANYONE  could fall a victim. I left that job and took another job, several years ago. I am in a management type position and do not deal with medications. So about 2 years ago it seemed like a had a lot going on, surgeries, dental stuff, pulled muscles, etc. so what started as a few for fun turned in to 90 to 120 mg of hydrocodone a day. About 6 months ago I was tired of it, ran out so it was the perfect opportunity to quit.  So I did for a week but all that kept me going is knowing I had a dr appointment soon. Apparently I wasn't really ready. So fast forward to today. I AM READY... I am tired of hiding my secret, telling lies, the only thing I look forward to is my next dose, just tired of if.  So I know if I had a job now passing medications I would taken them. I would be that nurse I said I would never be. When I get over this addiction I plan to stay away from dispensing pills, I just don't want any temptation.  I have never been in trouble by the board, hence that is why I must not discuss this wih any family or nursing friends. Where I do work I audit charts, I look at records. I can look at a page and see the nurses who administered a prn 10 times when no one else did. I can see a pattern a mile away. So I know these nurses are going through exactly what I am going through. And then my heart aches for them. They have to handle these pills every day, face to face with them every day. I couldn't be that strong, I would never stop I that was the case.  Just rambling. What is your story?

[VICourageous]

HI I will get back with you. I am sleeping good tonight finally. Thanks to these people here on the post . They have some great info and experiences
I left commputer on and went to turn off and this was here....No I just took early retiremend I guess we can call it.
vickie

[Cira30]

I would see patients getting high doses of lortab/norcos and think hmm so you can take more than 10mg at a time... I guess it does start there because you learn so much about the medications and dosing. I am still in he profession, I hope to stay in it. I do not pass meds, I don't think I will ever be able too. In fact I am not around any meds. So that is good! Did you get caught with the board or are you just going to let it lapse? 157 days is great!! How did you do it? How do you feel now?

[VICourageous]

I WAS in the field for 27yrs. I come to believe that the stress of the job is why I developed my addiction. All above is true what U said. I started out with hydr/oxys then the last 12yrs I went to methedone. I would get sooo BUZZED up and even stay over. I started to snort adderral with it to make the methedone last. I then did a bezo to come down. I knew I was going to die if I did not give it up. So now I am 157 days today, I can not go back into this field. 3 doctors told me no. I had to apply for assts. My husband owns a drywall business so we are OK, but I like my own money....I passed out meds for awhile and can say I never took any from the cart..(Maybe because there was no methedone) Ha! I really do not think I would of done that for fear of looseing job.???? I hear alot of people in the health field can get HOOKED because meds is our way of thinking when we are around it. I used to be more on the natual way of taking things then I started to learn about the meds and trusted the doctors. So yes I do think it is very stressful. I just can not go figure why I did not know about the "Disease of Addiction" and the things it does to our brain. I just learned about the pleasure part of the brain(survial) It makes me mad. Maybe I just was not lisenting....Thanks for the post. There is others here that work in the field that have some good experience and knowledge to share.
God Bless Us for caring for others..
vickie