Aderil & Immodium---> My New BFFs

[GaGalblah]

I've been off for 35 hrs now, (yes, I'm taking it hour by hour). And Day 1 was full of bathroom breaks and rolling around in bed watching movies and feeling sorry for myself. I've contemplated cancelling my Rx. I've thown my pills down the toilet, poured them in a water bottle & thrown them out the window from a moving car (twice!). Each time, feeling regret & horrible WDs hours later. It didn't work. Right, now, I feel pretty good. I took Immodium all day yesterday & had a GREAT night sleep w Alteril!!! Wow! Haven't slept like that in a long time! Tummy still churning, but I'm about to "pop" an Immodium & a protein shake.
Busy week of work & kid stuff ahead. For me, its hoof to be about RE learning how to do my daily life tasks without popping a pill.
Quite smoking a few yrs ago. Had been wanting to quit. One day, I purposed in my head that I would quit. I went in a store, bought a pack of cigs got back in my car, threw them in the glove and didn't touch them until 5 months later when I threw them out.  I learned to get in the car and start my drive without lighting up. Learned to take a walk, have a bad day, and go out to a club w friends w out smoking.
I learned from these boards over he past several months that one way isn't better over another. Ppl relapse & try again. But I can say, I have easy access to vico bc several friends have serious back and/or neck issues. It would be nothing more than a phone call to get a months worth if I wanted it. But, I don't. This almost 36 hrs clean is a big BIG deal for me!!! I have NOT went 1 full day without "popping a pill" in over 3 years! & now I'm on almost 36 hrs!! Mentally, I feel strong! I feel like I've done something.
Just had a talk with my husband. He still doesnt think I have a problem. He asked how I slept last night (after taking Alteril) and I said GREAT and he said I woke up all night & told him my back was hurting (& "please rub it",  lol...). I don't remember waking up & feel well rested this morning. Alteril works much better than that bottle of Ambien that I also decided to stop as well.
Also, I should note, I tapered last week. Primarily in fear bc I realized that for the first time, I was going to run out almost 7days before my b4 my refill. So all last week (7days), I took 2/7.5s 1x a day. I got pretty sick last week & had to go to urgent care for a shot (steroid shot for migraine) & got a rx for Imitrex. Took it 1x a day for 2days (to total 2 pills) and the migraine went away. I was in a bad mood, sluggish, tummy hurt, didn't get more than 2hrs of sleep per night, and ached all over.  actually thought I had caught the stomach bug or flu last week  bc I had no idea that I was having WDs bc I was still taking 2pills 1x per day and 2 of my kids and 3 co worker were also sick.  Which is why I started back on the boards yesterday, to find out what to expect.   Only to find out most of this stuff I had last week and called it a "stomach bug" or "flu"
The fear has started to subside and I'm feeling determined and interested to see how my life will be without pills....oh, also got a gym.membership! Never did that before!  

[GaGalblah]

LittleBit, thank you! Lol...guess taper isnt the best word....I only had a few so I only took a few. So many people were sick so I just assumed I was too. Had read the boards before but hadn't been on in a while. I feel good today.  Don't know where the energy is coming from but thankful for a beautiful day & another chance to get it right.

[littlebit667]

Your taper was a bit short and I am not surprised that the "flu" started then.  I promise you will feel better soon.  it is hour by hour.  Soon it will day by day!
Imodium is amazing.  It kept me from going crazy because of the opiate trots.
I actually doubled up a day or two....seems to help with trots and some of the W/D's as well.  That was a personal choice that worked for me.

I did pills for several years and quit for the same reason.  It was a good thing in the end.  

Hang in there!!!!