Aa
Countdown....3 days
For the past 2 1/2 months I have had a terrible IV morphine addiction that has escalated to about 150-200 milligrams a day (multiple 30-40 mg injections throughout the day). I regret ever starting this habit and I knew exactly what I was getting myself into as I am a grad student studying drug pharmacology, psychopharmacology, and addiction. My upcoming and current hell were obvious to me from the beginning, yet I still continued like the ******* that I am. At this point I'm just surprised that i haven't started stealing drug from my lab yet...
Anyways, I need to kick this habit. I teach a class every Tuesday evening and I plan to go cold turkey starting this Wednesday. I will call in sick to my lab for one whole week, but I can't skip my class no matter what which means that I need to start my detox on Wednesday so that I can be as through the withdrawals as possible by the time I need to start showing up for work again... Let's hope I can do this.
I've tried to prepare as much as possible for my upcoming period of hell and misery. I've got tons of Immodium, Vitamins, St. John's Wort, Vitamin B6, L-Tyrosine, Melatonin, Valerian Root, Kava Kava, Aleve, Advil, gatorade, grapefruit juice, and about 10 ativan pills (1 mg each). I'm hoping that by getting all these drugs and supplies, I might be able to make the withdrawals somewhat bearable, but am I just fooling myself? Will these drugs really make any difference? Do you all think I will be capable of going to teach my class in a week or will I embarrass and possibly out myself and my addiction to my students given my condition. I'm scared ********, but this addiction needs to stop. Is there any advice anyone can give me to possibly help me get through this and be ready for my class next Tuesday. Any advice or thoughts would help. Also, let me know if you are going through anything similar. It'd be nice to have someone to talk to whilst going through what will likely be the worst period of time in my life...
Anyways, I need to kick this habit. I teach a class every Tuesday evening and I plan to go cold turkey starting this Wednesday. I will call in sick to my lab for one whole week, but I can't skip my class no matter what which means that I need to start my detox on Wednesday so that I can be as through the withdrawals as possible by the time I need to start showing up for work again... Let's hope I can do this.
I've tried to prepare as much as possible for my upcoming period of hell and misery. I've got tons of Immodium, Vitamins, St. John's Wort, Vitamin B6, L-Tyrosine, Melatonin, Valerian Root, Kava Kava, Aleve, Advil, gatorade, grapefruit juice, and about 10 ativan pills (1 mg each). I'm hoping that by getting all these drugs and supplies, I might be able to make the withdrawals somewhat bearable, but am I just fooling myself? Will these drugs really make any difference? Do you all think I will be capable of going to teach my class in a week or will I embarrass and possibly out myself and my addiction to my students given my condition. I'm scared ********, but this addiction needs to stop. Is there any advice anyone can give me to possibly help me get through this and be ready for my class next Tuesday. Any advice or thoughts would help. Also, let me know if you are going through anything similar. It'd be nice to have someone to talk to whilst going through what will likely be the worst period of time in my life...
Hey
Thinking about you and checking in. Lots of good advice above so I'm wondering where you are at. Let me know.
Lu
Thinking about you and checking in. Lots of good advice above so I'm wondering where you are at. Let me know.
Lu
Hi...I also have a degree in pharmacology. This is going to be rough. You will lose a lot of fluids and electrolytes, so please get some Gatorade. I really wish you were doing this under medical supervision. Dehydration is nothing to mess around with.
If you start noticing heart palpitations, and they don't go away after eating some bananas, or drinking Gatorade, GO TO AN ER. You need to be ALIVE!
The only thing you can take to control the vomiting are promethazine (Phenergan) or Zofran (newer anti-emetic.) Both need a prescription. Don't buy them off the streets, because you may not be getting the real thing, and you could end up DEAD.
Ginger is effective at controlling nausea and sometimes vomiting. You can make a ginger tea, a strong one, buy buying the real root, mincing it up very finely, then putting heaping tablespoon in a mug. Pour boiling water over it. All the ginger will immediately rise to the top; that' s ok. Let it steep; you'll know hen it is done, because the ginger pieces will sink to the bottom. Small sips.
Isn't there a doctor with whom you can confide? Someone who can support you through this? You should have someone checking on you periodically during the detox. As a student of pharmacology, you know that loperamide is an opiod, but in therapeutic doses, doesn't cross the blood brain barrier. Don't take huge amounts of it---you'll be defeating your own purpose. Just enough to control the diarrhea...which may not show up right away.
You have 2 things on your side: you are young (I'm guessing) and you have only been using for 2.5 months. I would expect that your detox will be extremely unpleasant, but short lived. Statistics show people will similar dosing habits have peak withdrawals at 72 hours. After a week you SHOULD feel much better, but everyone is different.
Treat yourself as you would if you had a horrible stomach bug. Gentle, palliative care is indicated...but please, be prudent. Your "secret" isn't worth dying over.
Post often...I check on here every day. Good luck...
-R.
If you start noticing heart palpitations, and they don't go away after eating some bananas, or drinking Gatorade, GO TO AN ER. You need to be ALIVE!
The only thing you can take to control the vomiting are promethazine (Phenergan) or Zofran (newer anti-emetic.) Both need a prescription. Don't buy them off the streets, because you may not be getting the real thing, and you could end up DEAD.
Ginger is effective at controlling nausea and sometimes vomiting. You can make a ginger tea, a strong one, buy buying the real root, mincing it up very finely, then putting heaping tablespoon in a mug. Pour boiling water over it. All the ginger will immediately rise to the top; that' s ok. Let it steep; you'll know hen it is done, because the ginger pieces will sink to the bottom. Small sips.
Isn't there a doctor with whom you can confide? Someone who can support you through this? You should have someone checking on you periodically during the detox. As a student of pharmacology, you know that loperamide is an opiod, but in therapeutic doses, doesn't cross the blood brain barrier. Don't take huge amounts of it---you'll be defeating your own purpose. Just enough to control the diarrhea...which may not show up right away.
You have 2 things on your side: you are young (I'm guessing) and you have only been using for 2.5 months. I would expect that your detox will be extremely unpleasant, but short lived. Statistics show people will similar dosing habits have peak withdrawals at 72 hours. After a week you SHOULD feel much better, but everyone is different.
Treat yourself as you would if you had a horrible stomach bug. Gentle, palliative care is indicated...but please, be prudent. Your "secret" isn't worth dying over.
Post often...I check on here every day. Good luck...
-R.
You don't want to stop your bodies natural detox methods unless it's really necessary. Doing so will increase detox time as you won't be flushing as fast as you could be. Just wanted to put that in there since as short as detox as possible sounds like your goal.
It sounds like you're describing an H withdrawal so I'd second Lulu and say IV morphine must be similar. The vomiting is normal for that I hear, just do what you can for your fluid intake.
It sounds like you're describing an H withdrawal so I'd second Lulu and say IV morphine must be similar. The vomiting is normal for that I hear, just do what you can for your fluid intake.
I have done two cold turkey detoxes and the second one I used Clonidine. I had intense nausea but I never vomited. As it lowers your BP which spikes during detox it helps with the intense anxiety and for me, stopped me from vomiting. Beware with the Immodium though because it can prevent you from getting rid of all the toxins. You want this out of you.
Yes Clonidine is a prescription. Aside from Gravol (anti-emetic OTC) all the other nausea meds are prescription as well.
You may not be able to avoid vomiting. I suspect that IV Morphine detox would be similar to Heroin detox, and therefore there is no avoiding it. Look at it as purging your system from poison. Listen, it's gonna SU*K, there is no way around it. And the only way out of this mess is to go through it. It's the price we pay for abusing our bodies. But, if you surrender to the process completely it will be much much easier. Look at it as a small price to pay for getting your life back. Be proud of yourself and be gentle with yourself.
It sounds like you know what kind of hell road you were going down, which would only end it death, destruction, or institution, or jail. So you are saving your life. Do whatever you have to do, trust me, it's worth it and SO ARE YOU.
Lu
Yes Clonidine is a prescription. Aside from Gravol (anti-emetic OTC) all the other nausea meds are prescription as well.
You may not be able to avoid vomiting. I suspect that IV Morphine detox would be similar to Heroin detox, and therefore there is no avoiding it. Look at it as purging your system from poison. Listen, it's gonna SU*K, there is no way around it. And the only way out of this mess is to go through it. It's the price we pay for abusing our bodies. But, if you surrender to the process completely it will be much much easier. Look at it as a small price to pay for getting your life back. Be proud of yourself and be gentle with yourself.
It sounds like you know what kind of hell road you were going down, which would only end it death, destruction, or institution, or jail. So you are saving your life. Do whatever you have to do, trust me, it's worth it and SO ARE YOU.
Lu
I attempted to wait out my first dose today as long as possible just to see what happens and I lasted until about 2pm At which point, I was immediately struck with the most intense nausea and vomiting. It came out of nowhere and was literally at its peak in within 30 seconds. What drugs will be able to combat that nausea? I have a lot of loperamide for the diarrhea and I'll be taking high doses of it to combat any other wd side effects it can, but that nausea/vomiting was killer and any advice on how to combat it would be really helpful.
Clonidine is a prescription drug, right? What would be the easiest method to go about getting that quickly and what symptoms does it combat? I've got epsom salt for baths and baby powder for the sweating. Gonna get some bananas today.
I do plan to start going to NA meetings as soon as I get through this detox as I know they are more focused on dealing with addiction after the drug is out of the body and the immediate effects of chronic use have somewhat recovered. I wish I was capable of tapering but all my previous attempts have just led to either continued use with no decrease or escalation of intake and I can't play that game with myself anymore.
Clonidine is a prescription drug, right? What would be the easiest method to go about getting that quickly and what symptoms does it combat? I've got epsom salt for baths and baby powder for the sweating. Gonna get some bananas today.
I do plan to start going to NA meetings as soon as I get through this detox as I know they are more focused on dealing with addiction after the drug is out of the body and the immediate effects of chronic use have somewhat recovered. I wish I was capable of tapering but all my previous attempts have just led to either continued use with no decrease or escalation of intake and I can't play that game with myself anymore.
Hi there and Welcome to the Forum-
Sorry for the late response, it appears to be slow on here this weekend. You sound like you've got a solid plan in place. You know that is a hefty habit but it is doable. You know that the morphine has a short half life, particularly when it is injected. I would expect that your detox will be short but violent. The one thing that I would add to your arsenal if you can is Clonidine (BP med commonly used in opiate detox) All the other stuff you've got. Many members find that telling themselves they have a really, really bad flu is the way to get through it. I'd also get some Immodium and some Gravol or another anti-emetic. Hot baths with epsom salts are your best friend. Bananas for the RLS. The biggest danger with this kind of detox is dehydration so make sure you stay on top of that. If you find you are unable to get the Gatorade in, grab some pedialyte. Lots of members make popsicles out of it and it does feel really good. It's easier to consume and sucking on something cold helps as well.
I really can't say if you'll be okay to teach next Tuesday night. But that is no reason not to do this. You are ready and it is time. There are a lot of violent viruses going around so it can be explained as illness.
Lastly-
Getting clean is the easy part of recovery. Staying clean is a whole other matter. You can not do it alone, no one can. You need to invest in an aftercare program. As you are studying addiction, I'm sure you know that. It is absolutely vital that you share your secret with somebody, and that you do aftercare. Otherwise you will find yourself back here. Maybe not soon, but eventually once the horror of detox is a distant memory.
You have been playing with fire, and I really want you to succeed. You will find endless support here and a large cheering section but We are not enough. You need support in real time in the flesh, so think about it okay?
And keep posting.
Wishing you the very best....
Lu
Sorry for the late response, it appears to be slow on here this weekend. You sound like you've got a solid plan in place. You know that is a hefty habit but it is doable. You know that the morphine has a short half life, particularly when it is injected. I would expect that your detox will be short but violent. The one thing that I would add to your arsenal if you can is Clonidine (BP med commonly used in opiate detox) All the other stuff you've got. Many members find that telling themselves they have a really, really bad flu is the way to get through it. I'd also get some Immodium and some Gravol or another anti-emetic. Hot baths with epsom salts are your best friend. Bananas for the RLS. The biggest danger with this kind of detox is dehydration so make sure you stay on top of that. If you find you are unable to get the Gatorade in, grab some pedialyte. Lots of members make popsicles out of it and it does feel really good. It's easier to consume and sucking on something cold helps as well.
I really can't say if you'll be okay to teach next Tuesday night. But that is no reason not to do this. You are ready and it is time. There are a lot of violent viruses going around so it can be explained as illness.
Lastly-
Getting clean is the easy part of recovery. Staying clean is a whole other matter. You can not do it alone, no one can. You need to invest in an aftercare program. As you are studying addiction, I'm sure you know that. It is absolutely vital that you share your secret with somebody, and that you do aftercare. Otherwise you will find yourself back here. Maybe not soon, but eventually once the horror of detox is a distant memory.
You have been playing with fire, and I really want you to succeed. You will find endless support here and a large cheering section but We are not enough. You need support in real time in the flesh, so think about it okay?
And keep posting.
Wishing you the very best....
Lu
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