Day 1 - Again

[T2112]

So after 53 hours off Fioricet thing got really strange. Couldn't really connect the thoughts while speaking. I was told about seizures from dropping too fast - not sure what was happening but wanted to be safe. So I took 2 Fioricet Tuesday (3/05) afternoon. Then yesterday I woke up with a bad migraine so I took another 2. Today I am just kinda beat. I tired, muscles ache, foggy but at least I don't have a headache. So I shall call today Day-1 and start again. I only have a few Fioricet left but actually don't have any interest in taking them (at least not at the moment).

On a happy note - My daughter got an email from the varsity softball coach saying she is interested in meeting my daughter. Our area has the largest high school in our state and there is a chance my kid may be pitching for the varsity team as a freshman. She's been pitching since she was 8 y/o and this year as a 14 y/o was drafted to pitch on a 16 y/o & 17 y/o ASA travel team. She's put in so much work - she truly deserves it. I am very proud of her.

[ActingBrandNew]

Just curious, if this is day 1 and you don't have any interest in taking the floricet...wouldn't it be better to get rid of them instead of having them around the house begging you to take them?

That great about your daughter! You must be very proud of her...it's time to make her proud now.

God bless

[T2112]

You're 100% right.  I appreciate the honest call. I have none with me and only 3 left which I will call my wife and have her toss before I get home. She's knows what I trying to do and is supportive. I thought I could just "hold onto" them.  Thanks for the comment on my daughter.  I am very proud of her.

[clean_in_ks]

Good idea to call your wife and have her toss em!  We can't take what we don't have.  The "feeling strange", the muscle aches, tired, beat, foggy, headaches.......all part of the toxic drugs leaving your body.  

How'd the jam session go the other night?

I agree w/ActingBrandNew....it's great news about your daughter....and being so proud of her......but NOW it's time to make her proud of you~

[T2112]

Agreed ... They have aready been thrown out by now.  WIth respect to the jam session.  It was a tad frustrating for me. By not playing nightly for 2 years I feel as though I have lost 5+ years of ability.  My head knows what my fingers should do and my heart knows how haunting or sad or agressive a note should sound like but I cannot get my hands to mimic what I hear internally. I need to realize that to get back to where I was will just take time. There's always a price to pay and I just got the invoice. It's actually very, very depressing. My first thought was after 35 years of playing it's time to gie it up but that's just the disspointment talking. Time to get back into the studio nightly and practice like I use to - It's not like I have any more drugs to take so there should be no excuse.

[clean_in_ks]

I hear you on the head knowing and the heart knowing.....but the end result frustrates you cause it "aint workin like it used to".
I have had SUCH frustration w/myself during this time of healing.....by equipping myself with WHY I feel like a goof ball or nut case sometimes, I have been reassured it is to be EXPECTED as our brains begin to heal and learn to re-fire and spark.  Kinda like when our vehicles desparately need a tune up and they hit, miss, surge, don't fire, timing is off.

A health page article that I return to OVER and OVER again (cause I can't remember what it says, LOL) is this one:

http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/PAWS-part-1/show/39?cid=66

What you described at your jam session is explained somewhat in that article.  The coordination between hand and eye.....is off, our reflexes are slower right now, our short term memory is wacked....like we hear and understand something PERFECTLY.....and then boom....minutes later when I try to recall......it's not there....urrrghhh.  I even open the fridge and forget what I was getting out of it.  The article also addresses my inability to concentrate and the impairment of abstract reasoning.....
I did ALL that stuff REALLY WELL before........and NOW????  
Well, I'm healing and you are too.  Hope it may help you to read that so you can lower your "current" expectations of yourself and allow the time it takes that you are already aware of to some degree.
Rock on~

[T2112]

Wow! - I owe you big for sharing that. I read every word of it. It is as if the author can tell many of the things I am going through. It was startling at times and for some reason a bit emotional. It sincerely helps, for me, to understand what is happening. I suppose I should set a predetermined date to not overreact to anything, not sell all my music equipment, and force myself to practice until it naturally returns. Thank you.  I hope I can one day return the favor. One day I will write a song for those on this site that have offered support and post a link on-line.

BTW - I once lived in Kansas City, Junction City, Manhattan, St. John and Wichita, KS.

[vicki595]

T. Try to be patient with yourself. You haven't even detoxed completely from both meds. After a few weeks, you can revisit your music and I'm sure you'll notice a difference for the better.

I know you're in a hurry for the process to be complete, now that you've decided to get clean, but it doesn't work that way. It takes time. That's also the reason why you tossed the remaining pills...that you may need...because you're in a hurry.  Please be gentle with yourself. You took these pills for a long time and it will take time for you to be all you want to be.
I'm still concerned about the seizure risk so that's another reason I wish you hadn't tossed the pills...       I'm keeping my eye on you...

[ActingBrandNew]

I think that's great you called your wife and had her toss the pills! Absolutely great! Im no doctor...but uh, if you took ONLY 2 on Tues and ONLY 2 on Wed....and none today...and haven't had a seizure...then holding them is just unneeded temptation. You did good...you did right...keep moving forward.

[clean_in_ks]

FOR SURE don't sell your music equipment!! Hahaha!  It's in your soul....
and you don't want to do anything radical in the first 6 mos to yr while you
are healing.  I even have a soprano sax I bought that I have played ONE
time......I keep saying I'm gonna sell it....but naw......"I'm gonna hold on to what I've got"..(a song, too, remember?)
I'll be looking forward to your new composition.....and your posting of the song you write for all of us.....that's a GRAND idea. :)

And after reading ALL the places in KS you have lived...another song comes to mind, "I get around".  Haha!  Hang in there...your healing has just begun~

[vicki595]

I just want to mention that the seizure risk after a fast taper or abrupt withdrawal from Fioricet  can be present for up to three weeks.

[vicki595]

Fioricet contains a barbiturate and abrupt withdrawal is dangerous due to the high incidence of seizure activity....especially when the drug has been taken in large doses over a long period of time.

[Pat1956100]

Please let us know how you are doing.  I'm a little concerned as well.  There are some drugs that need to be tapered and fioricet is definitely one of them.
Check in with us as soon as you can.

[T2112]

All things considered - everthing seems Ok. I somewhat expect to not feel the best. I am no expert on WDs or seizures or the medication with respect to stopping. I have read so much on this that it seems as though everyone has a different situation/reaction to stopping. Some can taper others need to CT. Some do Ok on either and others have more of a hard time. So far - so good. Tomorrow is Sat. which will be day 3. Then Monday back to work will be day 5. I sincerely appreciate the concern and support and will remain on this site for many weeks to come. I could not have gotten to this point if I had not found this sight and received support from all my Anonomus Friends (Hey .. wait ..that could be a song title)

QUESTION: Does Gabapentin reduce the potential for any seizure activity?  

[Pat1956100]

Hi, nice to hear from you and glad you are doing well.  
I believe gabapentin would reduce the potential for seizure activity and it also helps with withdrawal symptoms.
It was originally used for epilepsy and prevention of seizures.
Be careful with it as it is addictive as well and you will have withdrawal symptoms from it.  Are you prescribed gabapentin?

[T2112]

Yes.. for a back surgery that actually went great.  I was told to increase then decrease the Gaba. When I was told by my Pain Dr. that she wanted to get out of Rx-ing pain meds and that I needed to increase back up to 2,700mg of Gaba, I only went up to 600mg (1 morning & 1 night). The back surgery was in year 2010 and I really don't think I need the Gaba. I had heard that it helps when getting off pain meds so that is why I take it. I never knew about the seizure risk from Fioricet before so I never asked my Dr. what relationship Gaba had in the process. All of this is a lot. It can be frustrating at times. I'd just like to be done with the process.

[YesLife4Me]

Hey T!  The Gaba will definitely help with the seizure sisk, that's one of its purposes.  My research shows that it is also used for alcohol withdraw, which also has seizure risks.  I've also read that it helps many people with opiate withdraw for restless legs and anxiety.  Lots or reports on how it helps with the mood too since it works as an anti depressant as well.  I was put on it 2 weeks ago for fibro pain and it has worked wonders and my mood is definitely a marked improvement.  Some of it from not hurting so bad as well.  Lol.   Anyhow I started at 300 mg 3 times a day a d worked my way up to 4x 300 (1200) 3 times a day.  Been working my way back down and noticed some pain again.  Good thing I have a dr appt today.  It might be a good idea to discuss with your dr?  I haven't had any migraines or headaches since taking it either!   My neck muscles are much more relaxed.  Who knows, it may give you enough lift to get going with your music too?  It does make me kind of goofy and forgetful, but that is getting better as I adjust to it.  

Congrats on the good news with your daughter!   Time is the 4 letter word on here...that's all you need.  

[ActingBrandNew]

Good morning T! Day 2! That's great and I see you made it through with no seizure. I'm really happy to see hear that. I just want to clarify something to you. Yes, it is a known fact Fioricet has seizure potential with abrupt withdrawal. But if you hadn't planned on taking the extra Fioricet...there was no need to keep them. Which is why you threw them away. Good job. I just find it difficult to understand how keeping Fioricet stashed away would prevent a seizure? Your supposed to take the Fioricet to prevent the seizure...not hold on to it?? So...if started having a seizure from the withdrawals...what, would you then pause the seizure and go to your stash of Fioricet? Take one and the seizure will go away? Sometimes I just don't get reasoning.
I want you to be clean. I want you to watch your daughter pitch with a clear head...free from substances. I want you to play music and enjoy life. We have acknowledged the seizure potential as real...but also that holding extra Fioricet will play no role in preventing that seizure from coming...

Your doing good T...real good. Your that much closer!

God Bless

[vicki595]

I'm sure happy to read that you're taking GABA. That will cover you perfectly from any seizure risk and I can stop thinking about!  I just know how having a seizure can impact your life. You could lose your drivers license...and that would be horrible for YOU!  

I have to tell you how wonderful you've done so far...this is hard, very hard, and I admire your resolve to get this addiction behind you. Please be mindful of situations that may trigger using and be sure to avoid them or have a plan to handle them. Some examples of triggers are: pain, boredom, anger, loneliness, sadness...   A good aftercare or recovery care plan can support you in this area. Of course, having support at home is huge so you're fortunate there...

[Pat1956100]

Just wanted to add that I am prescribed Gaba for fibromyalgia pain too.  It does make you kind of forgetful.  I got into the shower with my glasses on this morning.  I am definitely blaming the gaba and not my age.

[T2112]

Hey - Yesterday I put shampoo on my head before I had actually got my hair wet and then got out of the shower with dry hair and a glob of shampoo. Kinda weird - but kinda funny at the same time. I agree, it's the Gaba.

[T2112]

Today is Day 5.  The weekend was tolerable. I am hoping by this time next week the fog will be less. Still not attacking the guitar like I should be but I am hopeful. Thanks all.

[YesLife4Me]

Lol..I have done so many goofy things since taking the gaba too.  The thing that happens most often is I forget names or words as I am speaking. Then I have to pause for a moment til it comes to me.   Good job on throwing out the rest, you dont need them and they whisper to you.   The fog should start lifting soon.  

[EvolverU]

      Hey! Congratulations & huge kudos to you!
                      Barbs. are rough..Sounds like you're determined and I'm so glad you have support. A poster above mentioned GABA to minimize risk and help with some of the symptoms. I take an injectible (IM) form of it from a site called "Trim Nutrition" & it's really helped (I also take their B-complex  "Trim Complete" injectible.) You can chat w/ a nurse online. The GABA formulation is called "Trim Calm" and is a mix of GABA, Magnesium (which will help calm you & help with sleep and L-Theanine.) Glad you have your music. It's so important. It'll come back. It's hard to be patient with yourself but do -- because you deserve it!


                               - All good things your way -

[T2112]

Thanks.. I kinda got lucky in a way. When I decided to quit I was taking Gaba, Magnesium and drinking 80oz of Vitamin Waters per day which contain vitamins b5, b6, b12 & c. I am still very foggy and a somewhat unmotivated but I've been told it will pass at some point.