Aa
I had forgotten how good this felt. I can't let myself slip again!
Officially day 4 for me. I took my last 2.5 mg of a pill on Wednesday morning around 6 am, and just had enough because I was withdrawing terribly anyway and took Thurs/Fri off from school and work and just did it. My withdrawals were really not as bad as last time, most likely because I had only been using this time for 2 months or so!! Wed/Thurs was hell, but I actually am getting a decent amount of sleep (although nowhere near the sound sleep I was getting when I was drugged up!) I was up and moving by yesterday, and today I was totally functioning! I utilized the 5 hour energy drink, and it truly does at least help to give you energy for a couple of hours to get things done! When it wore off, I just worked through it and had a pretty active, decent day!
So here I am now with the task of remaining sober, forever. I feel strong now, but I know from my past experiences that after a while real life takes over again, and we tend to forget just how painful withdrawals were, and just how easy it is to get hooked again by just taking that one pill! I am going to my first meeting on monday b4 class, and although I am not really knowing what to expect, I know it is the way to go. I am just so glad I never moved up the opiate ladder, as I have been offered other (harder) things when there were no percocets around, but always at least had the common sense to say a big fat no! I always chose to take the small withdrawals until the percocets could be located, and they weren't unattainable for very long! I guess I just want to know what is going to go down at the first meeting.. like will I get a sponsor that day? How do these meeting work? I would rather be prepared!!
Thank you everyone who has been supporting me through this. A little kindness can really go a long way (even through the internet!!)
So here I am now with the task of remaining sober, forever. I feel strong now, but I know from my past experiences that after a while real life takes over again, and we tend to forget just how painful withdrawals were, and just how easy it is to get hooked again by just taking that one pill! I am going to my first meeting on monday b4 class, and although I am not really knowing what to expect, I know it is the way to go. I am just so glad I never moved up the opiate ladder, as I have been offered other (harder) things when there were no percocets around, but always at least had the common sense to say a big fat no! I always chose to take the small withdrawals until the percocets could be located, and they weren't unattainable for very long! I guess I just want to know what is going to go down at the first meeting.. like will I get a sponsor that day? How do these meeting work? I would rather be prepared!!
Thank you everyone who has been supporting me through this. A little kindness can really go a long way (even through the internet!!)
CONGRAT U FUNKING LATIONS!!!!!!!!!! The first thing u should right now is change ur screen name cause u just proved urself wrong. That's awesome and so glad to hear. One thing Janet left out is that they'll probably do a "roll call" and u'll get a ribbon/keep sake, applause and a bunch of hugs. That's one of the good things about NA and having the newbies coming in dirty or just got clean to show u that u don't want to do this again. And if u go on a binge believe that each wd is worse than the last.
In my opinion the 12 steps need to be re-evaluated since they were made back in the 60's or 70's and step one I use as an example "We admitted that we were POWERLESS over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable." That starts u out with a sense of negativaty(sp?). U had the power to break thru the worst part of ur addiction. I would strongly suggest u buy the book "The Cure to Alcoholism and Addiction" by the founders of Passages Recovery (or) Rehab Center. U may have seen there commercial, its worth every penny and now u'll have some extra cash :-) The reason I'm a strong believer in it is because once I got the premise of how our addictions started it was like seeing right thru to my core. If I asked u why u kept taking pills you'd probably say because they made u feel good, and no doubt they did. But if u dig deeper to when u first started doing any drugs, getting drunk or smoking pot, what was going on in your life that the hi seemed to make dissappear or go away. I urge you to find the answer to that and find a professional to talk about it, yes it might cost a little bit but probably less than the pills. If it screwed up ur financial situational i'd also suggest a professional to help u get on the right track.
Good luck and God bless!!!!!
In my opinion the 12 steps need to be re-evaluated since they were made back in the 60's or 70's and step one I use as an example "We admitted that we were POWERLESS over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable." That starts u out with a sense of negativaty(sp?). U had the power to break thru the worst part of ur addiction. I would strongly suggest u buy the book "The Cure to Alcoholism and Addiction" by the founders of Passages Recovery (or) Rehab Center. U may have seen there commercial, its worth every penny and now u'll have some extra cash :-) The reason I'm a strong believer in it is because once I got the premise of how our addictions started it was like seeing right thru to my core. If I asked u why u kept taking pills you'd probably say because they made u feel good, and no doubt they did. But if u dig deeper to when u first started doing any drugs, getting drunk or smoking pot, what was going on in your life that the hi seemed to make dissappear or go away. I urge you to find the answer to that and find a professional to talk about it, yes it might cost a little bit but probably less than the pills. If it screwed up ur financial situational i'd also suggest a professional to help u get on the right track.
Good luck and God bless!!!!!
You have been doing a great job! On Thursday you didn't think you could make it. You fought through the urge and toughed it out. Anything is possible if you put your mind to it and proved that to you and everyone else on here that are thinking about taking the plunge. I'm glad you still plan on getting some aftercare. It seems like if someone's withdrawals weren't as bad as the usually are they tend to think they beat it on their own and can just go on with every day life. Most of the time this isn't possible. So kudos to you!!
Just wanted to say congrats to a job well done! I was getting ready to watch a movie with my wife and kiddos but wanted to jump on and browse real quick. I was wondering how you were holding up.
Keep going strong. Never let your guard down. It only takes one little slip to end up right back where you started. I know you realize this and that's why you are taking a different approach this time. I'm so happy you figured it out!
Best of luck to you!
Brian
Just wanted to say congrats to a job well done! I was getting ready to watch a movie with my wife and kiddos but wanted to jump on and browse real quick. I was wondering how you were holding up.
Keep going strong. Never let your guard down. It only takes one little slip to end up right back where you started. I know you realize this and that's why you are taking a different approach this time. I'm so happy you figured it out!
Best of luck to you!
Brian
congrats on overcoming painpills..its so nice to hear a successfull one! i dont know anything about the meetings but goodluck!
You will probably not get a sponsor for a few weeks or so. Most sponsor's want to get to know you a little and make sure you are %100 set on staying clean and sober.
The thing to expect on your first visit is that everyone will welcome you and more than likely they will pass around a phone list of the woman to give you someone to call for support. They will also probably approach you after the first meeting with an extended welcome and some may ask you something about your story. Remember they will understand if you don't want to talk to them about it. They will not pry and let you tell your story when you are ready. Never feel obligated to talk if you wish not too.
The meeting will open with a member addict who will be conducting the mee.ting that evening. They usually start with serenity prayer and a moment of silence for the addict who still suffers. They have certain literature they read at the beginning of a meeting and it will tell you how the meeting is ran at this particular place. There are different kind of meetings also. T=topic meeting being someone will choose a topic to talk about that night. OD=Open discussion meeting talk about what you wish. Remember they also have open and closed meetings the difference is that open meetings everyone is welcome to attend, even if they are not an addict. The Closed meetings are for addicts only. There are also 12 step meeting where they teach you how to start working on the steps.
You will be able to pick up pamplets that will touch about any question you would have about meetings. The pamplets can be handy and hold lots of information. So I would look them over and take what interest you.
Please keep an open mind at your first meeting. Some may not appear to be truly looking to get clean. Court ordered.....but you will be surprised of how many truly are looking for sobriety.
For sure they will know your story, for when they share their story you will think they are talking about you.
I wish you luck with your sobriety
Janet
The thing to expect on your first visit is that everyone will welcome you and more than likely they will pass around a phone list of the woman to give you someone to call for support. They will also probably approach you after the first meeting with an extended welcome and some may ask you something about your story. Remember they will understand if you don't want to talk to them about it. They will not pry and let you tell your story when you are ready. Never feel obligated to talk if you wish not too.
The meeting will open with a member addict who will be conducting the mee.ting that evening. They usually start with serenity prayer and a moment of silence for the addict who still suffers. They have certain literature they read at the beginning of a meeting and it will tell you how the meeting is ran at this particular place. There are different kind of meetings also. T=topic meeting being someone will choose a topic to talk about that night. OD=Open discussion meeting talk about what you wish. Remember they also have open and closed meetings the difference is that open meetings everyone is welcome to attend, even if they are not an addict. The Closed meetings are for addicts only. There are also 12 step meeting where they teach you how to start working on the steps.
You will be able to pick up pamplets that will touch about any question you would have about meetings. The pamplets can be handy and hold lots of information. So I would look them over and take what interest you.
Please keep an open mind at your first meeting. Some may not appear to be truly looking to get clean. Court ordered.....but you will be surprised of how many truly are looking for sobriety.
For sure they will know your story, for when they share their story you will think they are talking about you.
I wish you luck with your sobriety
Janet
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