Depression after 16 off oxy

[zzzaaaccckkk]

I had a very very very bad day. I have the biggest depressed soul today. I felt so good. Ive been having little sessions of w/d the past two days. Very sad. Really have strong urge to call to get some. I am having little hope of staying clean.

[CleandUP]

Like everyone is saying. You have came to far to come back now. every one gets the urge and if you feel down..do something busy that will keep your mind away from the drugs. Start a new lifestyle, a healthy one that your proud of. The high from being proud is better than the high from pills because you know it was yourself who did it, not the pills. I believe in you.

[IBKleen]

Hi Hun,

You need to start your own post. Go to the top of this page and hit the post a question button and follow the instructions. See you out there....

[oto]

I m new to posting. I m not sure if this is where i needed to post.

[oto]

Hello, I am on my 6 th day off of oxi. I have been using these evil pills for 3 years now on and off. I finally made the choice to get off them once and for all. This is hard omg real hard. I m praying this will get better. I have 2 kids and a wife that has never touched a drug in her life and she has been so understanding.I wasn such a awesome person before these drugs and now i feel soooooooooo f------ing useless to everyone around me. I ve been through this before i was sober for about 2 months but i was a real big weed head so i used marijuana to cope with the withdraws and it seemed to work great untill time passed and i would forget how bad these pills were and i would get a couple just to get a little high thinking i beat this damm addiction  whats a couple gonna do im not gonna get hooked again. rofl . I was wrong oh i was wrong. I m not using weed no more by choice so this time its really really hard i dont have that weed to fall back on this time. I feel so naked im finally getting through the day sober with out nothing but coffee .A ND I HATE IT . omg please please please please please p[lease please tell me it gets better please please!!!!!!!

[oxyaddict420]

thats a good way to look at it.. keep it up

[zzzaaaccckkk]

thx. I know better day. Stressed found me yet again wife lost diamond in her band. 3ct f------ diamond. Employe threatened to harm me. It couldnt get worse, but I handled like I used to cool head.  Came home wife was at work told the boys to get on the ground, and hunt for that diamond.  I found it in the couch. Talk about luck. I rushed it to her work and told her, yeah were having hard luck n bad people dumping on us, then I showed her I found it. Wiped her tears, told her this is one of those bad days were oxy solved all, but finding this diamond a symbol of us was done without it. And every other problem will be solved with out it.

[FAITHFUL74]

Nevermind... your 16 days.... too far to turn back now!!! Look forward, you dont drive your car down the street looking into the rear view mirror do you! Consider this a crappy day. I have those too!!! But, look at tommorrow as a new opportunity!!!

[FAITHFUL74]

Hey man I remember your post also and you have a strong willpower!!! Dont give in... how many days are you now?

[pureavita]

DEPRESSION CA BE A MONSTER, IT IS REAL, BIOCHEMICAL CHANGES IN THE BRAIN. FROM MY OWN EXPERIENCE EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO DO TO GET THROUGH IT,YOUR DEPRESSION TELLS YOU NOT TO DO. I WENT FROM JAMMIN 3NIGHTS A WEEK RUNNING A BUSINESS,PLAYING BALL 4 NIGHTS A WEEK TO NOT BEING ABLE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE FEED MYSELF SHOWER ETC, ALL I KNOW IS FROM MY OWN EXPERIENCE I USED EVERY OUNCE OF ENERGY I HAD TO EAT RIGHT GET OUT OF THE HOUSE IF ONLY TO WALK AROUND THE BLOCK ONLY TO FEEL EXHAUSTED. PHYSICAL ACTIVITY IS SO IMPORTANT YOU HAVE GOT TO GET THOSE BRAIN CHEMICALS WORKING AGAIN FIRING AGAIN. MEDICATIONS CAN HELP IF YOU FIND THE RIGHT ONE IT CAN CHANGE YOURE WORLD IT USUALLY TAKES A FEW WEEKS TAKING A MED FOR CHEMICAL IMBALANCE IS NO DIFFERANT THAN ASPRIN FOR A HEADACHE. BUT BE CAREFUL FIND A RESPONSIBLE PSYCHIATRIST NOT ONE WHO WILL HAVE YOU ON 5 DIFFERANT MEDS FOR DEPRESSSION IT HAPPENS AND PEOPLE NEVER GET WELL. GET OUT SWEAT EAT RIGHT TAKE VITIAMINS SOCIALIZE AND DO NOT LISTEN TO THE LIES YOURE DEPRESSION TELLS YOU. IF YOU STILL DO NOT FEEL WELL SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP BUT BE CAREFUL. I AM NOT PREACHING I BROUGHT MYSELF BACK FROM A VERY SCARY PLACE NO HOPE WANTED TO DIE BUT A SMALL PART OF ME WAS STILL ME AND THAT IS WHAT KEPT ME GOING LOOKING FOR ANSWERS TO SMILE AGAIN.NO DRUGS NO ALCOHOL. PERIOD GOOD LUCK  

[jim811]

Hey Buddy....I know what u mean about the head w/d....some days are harder than others but recognizing it for what it is...head games...and being intuitive, listening to your body...you can work through it.  Hey...don't know if you checked any supplements out, aminos, muscle milk, etc but they help me recover from the workouts much faster so i can push harder...5'11'' @ 210 is pretty solid...going through w/d forced me to lose my fat lol....didn't want to eat as much.

Hey...do u feel aggessive at all?  I'm normally mellow but i/m having some serious aggression at times...i control it but feel like i could snap a tree sometimes.

BTW - a cop?  :-)

Peace,

Nick

[ServantHehasChosen]

I am a 47 year old Mother of 2 Sons (One is in US Air Force in Iraq) and the other is in Law School at Ole Miss.  I have been married for 27 years to a wonderful precious man.  I started taking Oxycodone 4 yeara ago for Dislocated Pelvic due to numerous abdominal surgeries, then I developed Breast Caner, had double mastectomies and 6 months later while still on Chemo was diagnosed with Rhumatoid Arthitus (Hands deformed right before our eyes), I give myself a shot of Chemo for the RA once a week and take dailed a cancer drug, both these cause severe bone and joint pain.  I have realized that I am seriously addicted to Oxycodone, and made myself (and my doctors) know I could not get out of bed without the drugs so they are SOOOOOOOO readily distributed to me upon request.  I want off them, my son will leave again for Iraq in late May/early June and his firstborn child will be delivered without him being present, so I must pull myself together to go assist my daughter in law.  These drugs and the illnesses have robbed me of my life, I was Coordinator for a major power company with 4 states and hundreds of employees reporting to me, I traveled a lot (I quit that when I realized sometimes I had driven and didnt know where or how I had gotten there) Finally I took my 100% disability and with my VA Service Connected benefits and monthly allowance I am actually making more money than when I worked) but my life sucks, I am practically a hermit, never leave the house and most times do not answer telephone if it rings unless it is my husband or boys.  I just cannot belive that I cannnot function without these drugs and am afraid that I will not be able to take care of my grandchild.  What tips do you have for getting off these meds?  Should I go cold turkey (I am kind of afraid with all my health problems) I see you say to taper, I have been doing that for 2 weeks.....should I ask my doctor for some meds to get me off it (he wants me to keep taking it), is there some natural things I could do?  Any information would be a blessing.....thanks

[OXYFIEND]

I am in the same boat man. Trying to get on the job as well but this ******* addiction has been holding me back. If you are like me then you really want this job. Have probably wanted it for a long time. It sounds to me like you have alot of things working in your favor (i.e. knowing the chief etc.) Gotta use this job as motivation to STAY CLEAN. Opportunity is knocking. Open the door to a new life and shut out the drugs for good. Just be sure you are ready because the stress of starting a new career can most certainly act as a trigger for relapse. Just imagine how dissapointed you would be in yourself if you blew a chance of a lifetime like this. Plus all the embarrasment and humiliation especially if the chief and mayor are pushing for you. Things sound like they are going to work out for you. And stay on that treadmill so you will get in great shape! (a must for a police recruit) Be strong. Everyone is here for you. One day at a time.

[zzzaaaccckkk]

sorry I misspelled patrolman a cop. I don't want them to know about my addiction.  It is a very high paying city. I know half the people that on the city incuding mayor n chief of police. Who both asked me to apply. They don't know a had a problem

[worried878]

But you will not be using still in april?  So what would you be lying about?

[anotherfinemess1]

2 Major Reasons for the bad days I had for months after withdrawals:
1)  All the stuff that I avoided or covered up or glossed over when I was on the pills is now resurfacing in all its glory.  I'm being forced to deal.
and 2)  I am not well-equipped to deal with it--literally-- because I've wiped out all the chemicals (neurotransmitters) in my skull that are responsible for feeling of well-being, feelings of optimism, and the ability to cope with this stuff. And it's gonna take time to build it up again.  The exercise and nutrition help tremendously.  But there is no quick fix (which we're so used to!)
The best advice I have for you is to be good to yourself.  Don't beat yourself up.  Be patient.  Understand that these things take time, and that addiction is a hard lesson.  Be prepared for the bad days.  Knowledge is power. ---and hang tough.

[toxictome]

Keep us posted...and keep posting...!! Good luck w/ the interview...you never know....honesty is the best policy, tho!!

[zzzaaaccckkk]

hey treadmill is great 15-30min a day. 3-5 mph. It hurts. Believe or not this addiction probably ruined my chance of my new job interview as a parolman in a awesome city. My testing starts in April. I know I would have obtain the job , cuz the people I know within the city. I will not lie about my addiction on my lie detector test. So will c. I let u know.

[zzzaaaccckkk]

shelby, thats why I quit ct I was gettingvthat buzz. I know not to go back iam better now.  Just was feeling a hard depression. Thx for all ur thoughts.  I glad ur tapering is working please stay on a scheduled date. Look forward to that date. There will b w/d.  Mine lasted 4 hell days. Urs will b much less. So just remember me getting rug burn on legs and arms from shaking n constant rls. Taking hot showers 5 times a day. But my skin burned from the worn skin. So I did it u can. My best advice which was a lot. Find ur underlining problem.  Mine are my friends.  No more. I have better boring friends that r fun to laugh at not with. But there growing on me. Good luck

[toxictome]

Keep going zack...sweat all the toxic s*** right out of your pores while you're running on your NEW treadmill...i see you finally figured out how to put it together...hehe

Hang in there w/us....WE can do this together....

[shelby74]

I am not sure how long you have been using but trust me after awhile, no matter how many you take, you adventually do not get a buzz.  You barely feel normal!  You have come so far!  Stop it now and get some outside help!  It is almost impossible to do it alone.  Meetings or therapy are a must!

[zzzaaaccckkk]

ur right tommorrow is another day. Push on thru. Sorry oxy can't write anymore. I get back at ya. Just didnt believe I would come from feeling so great to this. I just ran a mile on treadmill(thx NIC) wash the bad out. Stay strong.

[jddancy]

I am new to this forum but it sounds like you have been an inspiration to alot of people!!!  From a person who is on 30 mg of oxy, down from 160-200 mg., DON"T DO IT!!!!  I would love to be free from this!  I hate it and plan this weekend on trying hard to stop.  I don't know you but from someone that has alot of bad days, try to remember who you were BEFORE you started any of this.  That is what I am holding on to, I am sure you were a great person!  Go out and do something FUN just for you!!  See a funny movie, buy something you want.  Is that 16 days clean?  If so, that is an acomplishment!!!  Don't turn back, it will NOT be worth it!!  please keep us posted on how you are.  Prayers for you ZZAAAACCCKKK!!!!  I hope you can stay clean!  Stay on here , it is a true BLESSING that people care!!

[oxyaddict420]

Cmon man, where is that attitude you gave me about how you would never EVER put yourself through the horrible pain of hell that was c/t withdrawl ever again since you insisted that that was what people needed to stay clean, since it was SO HORRIBLE?!!!

If what you told me was true then why are you willing to screw it all up with your girl and all the bad things you put her through with this addiction AGAIN?!!  DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? NOOOOOOOO!!!!

THESE ARE YOUR WORDS MAN.. You told me it was just common sense that you only needed to experience the pain and horror of withdrawl ONLY 1 TIME EVER IN LIFE  TO NEVER USE AGAIN, AND PUT EVERYONE YOU CARED ABOUT THROUGH SO MUCH GRIEF!!  Where is that positive attitude now??  All I heard was delf defeat in that post!!!

I hope you get mad at me and decide to write a long @ss post about how you were right and how you wont get them and show me whats what! at least then you will not be relapsing and starting ALL OVER AGAIN! and why? Just to go through withdrawl and hardship again? Is it really worth all that?hmmmm, might wanna think this through..

Just remember all those posts you put up to others about how could they go back to using after going through the hell of c/t withdrawl?? You need to back those posts up now, and show us you can walk the walk along with the talk..

PLEASE GET MAD AT ME AND TAKE IT ALL OUT ON ME!!@ I DONT CARE.. AS LONG AS YOU DONT GO GET PILLS!!

STAY CLEAN

U CAN DO IT

U ARE STRONGER THAN A PILL---

AREN'T YOU?

U TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

[Chi_Chi_Lover]

You are going to have bad days for months. Having a bad day is not always related to the pills. You use to use them to put you in a good mood or lift your spirits when you were down. Got to find something to take the place. Something healthy. You have come too far to go back now.