http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Addiction-Substance-Abuse/Day-8-Now/show/1103794?personal_page_id=886198&post_id=post_5085809
That is my first post.
I stayed clean for 56 days.
then I wen't to the Doctor...and I had a full blown brand new Pilonidal cyst...he lanced it and cut on my in three places....basically...I couldn't sit..so I was started on 5/500mg vics..30 of them..they were monitored by my GF....took them as directed...well..even after 66 days my tolerance wasn't zero..but they were somewhat effective....two more scripts came for 15 and 15. Then it was surgery time..full blown.....took a long time to recover..I am now at the end of my recovery..and I still have more than has to come out...I was prescribed 7.5mg vics..then percs....for the unreal pain....I have been on meds now since Early Jan...everyday....8-10 7.5 mg percs per day.
The last few days I would wake up with little pain..see I would take a dose at 9 am, 1 pm, 5 pm, 9 pm..then overnight like 2-3 am..I woul take one...because when u wake up with that pain its hard to sleep..
So that is two..every four hours....then 1 overnight...
well I decided I was ready to get off this stuff for a bit..before my next surgery..it will be in about 2-3 weeks.....I wanted to get some clean time and get my tolerance to go down...you see..this time around..I never got that amazing buzz or high...just killing my motivation again.
well 2 nights ago.I took my bed time dose....then went to bed..I didn't take a dose overnight....I woke up at 4, 6, 8 am...sweating....by morning..I was in full blown W/Ds..that is crazy...before I would take that much over a 1-2 month period have little W/Ds.
since then..I cut my dosage down....I took 7 yesterday and have two today.
I have a few problems....I like the feeling of normal...I never chased the high for the last 2 months...today I got up and I could barely move..it was freaking rough.....taking a shower was rough...I took a pill an hour after I was up..and the relief was amazing...not relief from pain but from WDs..when it hit..I felt like a million bucks...now I had no desire to take more....or get high...the WDs came 2 hours later...by three hours they were making it hard to work....so I took another.
I am not looking for advice on tapering or quit..I know what will happen.
I will have more surgery...then be done...and have to quit or ruin my life again.
I am JUST SO MAD I AM HERE AGAIN..I KNEW WHEN I GOT CLEAN THAT I WOULD BE BACK ON THE JUICE FOR A WHILE..I AM SO ANGRY THIS IS MY SITUATION.
I have a script for 30 more 7.5 mg percs at the store waiting for me...
I see the Doctor on Friday and I am working 60-80 hours per week to get money to help pay for this....
I can't take off work to rehab for 2-3 weeks before surgery...but I know taking more will just build tolerance so when surgery time comes..I will end up on tens....
I plan on taking 6 per day...one every three hours until I have surgery...its not up to me...they are in someone elses control...hopefully that will stop tolerance building..I am so scared about the NITEMARE THAT LIES AHEAD.