Day 18

[PlowBoy36420]

I know I was supposed to start counting weeks and nor days but I feel I should give some words of encouragement to everyone here that is going through a rough patch.
Yesterday was really the first bad day I had in a while due to moving back to my home state, I over done it with the packing,  loading, driving at night then unloading before morning.  The kids and I got up with maybe 2 hours of sleep on the floor and headed into town to take care of business for school. I know I pushed myself to much but glad I did, we can rest this weekend (last night I got some rest)
I feel tired but great this morning so I know the huge depression spell I had all day with the fatigue was lacking of sleep so my mind was screaming "PILLS" all day. I want this more now than ever, just.
For those starting out on their journey,  it's not going to be an easy task, it might not seem like it when you're at day 1 or you might be on your 7th day (I had a bad 7th day lol) and it might seem impossible to push through,,, but you can. It does get better,  everyday isn't going to be the best but you will start forgetting about the w/d's.
I'm praying for each one of you because I know it's a tough battle.
((John))

[PlowBoy36420]

I can see my demon is the depression, it seems to linger unwanted.
The fatigue is a bit of a nuisance but I don't mind laying down but that's when depression starts

[dominosarah]

Congrats on 18 days of freedom!!  Take time out of each day to sit and chill out for a bit.  Dont let yourself get overwhelmed.  You are doing great!

And as pillguy said, focus on the journey, not the destination~

[pillguy]

You've given all of us a very important post regarding the reality of recovery.  Our use has changed our brain chemistry.  Think about that for just a minute.  We've caused a change in the chemistry of our brains that affects how we feel and respond.  That's pretty scary!  The good news is that it can be changed back.  There will be ups and downs.  More early on, less later.  There will be cravings where your unconscious tests you resolve.  We all know what the past holds for us.  We can't go back there.  It's not about being a "good" person vs a bad one.  Use is simply not sustainable.  When we are using there's a cliff in front of every one of us.  Sooner or later all of us will reach our cliff if we don't stop.

PlowBoy36420, you're off to a great start.  Your journey's destination is over the horizon.  Have a wonderful trip.  :-))

Cheers,