Relapse, square one starting from scratch again.

[Secondguess]

Had a major relapse last night. Ended up taking a handful of lortab. I went 5 days without it but broke last night. I got really depressed over some things in my life and relapsed. So here I am again, at Day one. I can't stop beating myself up over last night. Just thought I would share.

[jlannaa]

it happened its over don't beat yourself up i noticed i think about using when i'm stressed and overwhelmed i take a hot bath and put some music on , your back and thats all that matters now! something i also do is pray for help ,goodluck !i'll say a prayer for ya

[Innerstrength67]

I meant to say patience...Ooops!

[Innerstrength67]

I think it can happen to anyone, even people with years and years. When you have the feelings of wanting to use, just sit back, close your eyes and visualize taking those pills.It will give you a pause from acting out, reacting and acting on impulse.
Addicts want instant gratification. We must learn patients.

[littlebit667]

When you are lonely..come here and post.  Check out the other forums..surely you have something to give to those.  I have started checking the other forums out and posted some.  It is good to read about others lives...sometimes it makes us realize how much we have in our own lives.  You might want to skip the women's health one...It is kinda scary!  :)

[ricart70]

Yes heartbreak was the thing that started the ball rolling for my last relapse,along with several other things that all seemed to happen in succession making me feel worthless and stupid.Now I don't have 2 and a half years anymore I have 51 days.It's really something to look out for

[Secondguess]

I like to read, I'll check that book out. Thanks for the suggestion!

[Secondguess]

No family in the area. I was lonely. And Ive recently been heartbroken, which doesn't really help my cravings ya know?

[tomskat]

Hey there. Stop beating yourself up. You relapsed. It's over. Now is the time to move forward. Pick yourself up and start over. You know you can do this....you have already proved that you can!! Continuing to beat yourself up over this will not allow you to move past it,which you need to do.You're strong,and can fight this.The important thing is to know what triggered this,and preventing it from happening again.Stay strong,and keep your guard up!! Hang in there!!~A

[ricart70]

HI,I have one question...Did you figure out that you can't take just one pill and then go right back to quitting?? I think that is the thing to take away from this.I read your post on friday when you said that you didn't even get high off of the pill you took.There are signs in all of the parks out west.They say" DON'T FEED THE BEARS."  Why? because when you do then the bear will not just go away.If you don't like aftercare you may want to check out a book by Jack Trimpey.It is called rational recovery.

[LeaAnn807]

Ditto.......you have to cut ties!  And you HAVE to have some support that you can count on like NA or something.  I think maybe you weren't ready before when you did aftercare like I was for YEARS!  I tried it and never got it.  Or....could be that you didn't find something that "fit" you.  Been there too.  It doesn't matter as much that you relapsed as it does that you figure out the underlying reason for it and do things differently.  Got me?  Now.....don't make me come and beat it into you!!!!! : )

[vicki595]

I hear you...

I'm not sure what you're more addicted to : your dealer or the pills.  ;)

Triggers:
BOREDOM
LONLINESS
HUNGER
ANGER
WORRY
STRESS
ANXIETY
OR NONE OF THE ABOVE

You need to ask yourself why you did that? It's more than weakness; it always is...

[Ann2497]

Do you have any family in the area that can give you support?

[Secondguess]

I'm not a big fan of counseling or aftercare. I've been through that before years ago. It didn't help. I actually got worse. This forum actually makes me feel good. I know it's not enough......but for me, it really does make me feel positive. So many inspirational stories. So much great advice and support to and from one another.

[Secondguess]

Yes my dealer. I just had a moment of weakness. I was alone all day. My "friends" wouldn't pick up their phones, I felt neglected, and decided to use instead. Just a moment of weakness. I'm doing better today and I'm going to keep trying to move forward.

[vicki595]

The thing about a relapse isn't always why you did it but did you learn from it?

If you did then that's all that matters now. Get going and get back on the horse!

The forum is not enough support for you. Can you get into a program or with a therapist,group,something that will hold you accountable? A lot of us have been in some kind of after addiction recovery care or are currently...it makes a huge difference!

[Ann2497]

Do you mind my asking where you got them from?  Your dealer?  If so, I thought you were going to cut all ties with her.  I don't mean to come across harshly.  Just trying to understand why you keep coming into contact with drugs.

[london_man]

I'm sorry to hear that but keep fighting and dont give up

[Kendraerika]

Don't beat your self up. You are still trying. Don't give up! You are worth what is at the end of this hard road.