Off and on hydrocodone for past 5 years.

[help_me33]

.I am so scared of everything, failing as a mother, someone finding out my dark secret.  I left my husband for alcohol addiction what the hell kind of person am i for i am in the same boat.  i am dating someone  now and i tried explaining it to him and all he says is quit the stuff because he will not be with a junkie.  i am need to get my life together i need help.  i can't go to rehab but i am on day two of bieng without.  i am done and want to stay done FOREVER!!!! .

[toothfairie]

Hi and welcome!  Congrats on day 2!!  It will get better....you will feel like you have a bad flu.....check out the Thomas recipe at the bottom right of this page...it has some great stuff to get you thru WDs....just keep posting when you have questions....and we can help you thru them....this site is an amazing place for help and support....it has helped me tremendously over the past 2 months....good luck!  

[Leaveurfearsbehind]

Just wanted to add my support. This is a great site with some amazing people. We have all been where you are and know how hard it is. The one thing that I keep telling myself was "things will get better" you will hear that over and over on Here but it's true. I know it's so hard to imagine yourself feeling good again without pills but if you do the work it will happen. Wishing you the best!

[Missshawn]

I hope you feel better soon.. I know the hydros made me numb.. I felt like I didn't love my husband any more.. The longer I'm off the more my love for him grows.. Be strong your almost thur the worst..

[LeaAnn807]

Two days is halfway done with the worst physical part, so that's great!  It will be over soon, and then you can concentrate on getting some help and support so that you don't have to go through this again!  

Don't judge yourself too harshly!  We all make mistakes!  Even your boyfriend who doesn't want to be with a junkie isn't perfect.  He's human too!  So, don't let that get you down!! : )

[keith600]

Treat this site like a 12 step meeting only its easier. Make going to this site the 1st thing you do each morning. Everyday you can read someones post and that person is either headed to where you are,is at where you are or have been where you are.Support is one of the most important things you need.             lastly, your not a junkie, got that? YOUR NOT A JUNKIE. Your boyfriend is a choice that YOU will have to make at some point but remember, this is your life. GL

[keith600]

P.S.    You dont have to worry about your"dark secret" anymore,,we know and thats good for now

[BarbRTR]

I love that Keith! I'm only day 17, but posting here and telling my secret was great.
A week later I told someone close to me.

I never would have without reading here, everyday, how important it is to tell somebody.
And without reading here, everyday, I highly doubt I would be on day 17.

Help_me keep posting! You are not a junkie!