Had a relapse

[country_girl100]

I just need some encouragement I suppose. I was doing so good with my W/D, then for some odd reason, I could not think about nothing else today besides getting high!! So, I did....I feel like such a LOSER!!! I posted yesterday about how good I was doing and how good I felt then today, this crap!! UGGGGGG!!!! Someone please yell at me!!

[old_mate]

lifes hard and yes you have to be tough but it took more then i had to get off my addiction, i didnt go to rehad or doctors however if i had the oportunity then i would take it up in a heart beat.

have a look at my post and there might be something there for you

[trxie185]

I agree with ImDONENoMore. Just toughen up! Don't let life and the outside negative sources dominate and control your life. If you let things overwhelm you they will get the best of you. YOU and only YOU can decide what the outcome of YOUR Life will be. No one else, nothing else. This life is borrowed, it WILL end one day so live it to the best of your potential and believe me, everyone's got potential to do great things with their lives. The Keys are in YOUR hands. Just tell yourself that you are worth it because you say so and your opinion is all that matters, not anyone else's. You don't need those pills. Dig deep inside yourself and see what you're made of. You'll be surprised to find out that the you that's been screaming to be free will finally be liberated.

[Dane74]

i was just reading over all your posts and it sounds just like me!!!! And IMDONENomore and Vicki have been there for me throughout my process as well.  i too have no clue about NA/AA, and it scares the crap out of me...   I wish you the best of luck.....Dane

[country_girl100]

Thank you!! I am just very emotional right now. Feel like a failure etc... Have you ever been to NA or AA  etc meetings? Jst curious as to how and what they do??

[ImDONENoMore]

No, I don't think you're going to go through withdrawal again.  It was a small mistake, a little slip, and you can go forward without looking back.  I KNOW you can.

And tomorrow look into the things you just talked about - read your post again if you need a "push" to do it - and by this time tomorrow night you are going to feel SO good about taking control again and finding a new way to move forward.  It will feel GREAT - so give yourself that chance okay?  You deserve it.  We all do.  :) (and as "mushy" as that might sound, it's still not sugarcoating because the truth is the TRUTH.  Simple as that.)

[country_girl100]

I agree! I had a little counseling the first time and it did seem to help. It was just hard to talk to someone and admit EVERYTHING!! I did feel  ALOT better about it after the sessions, but I got bored with it. Plus, I felt like the therapist did not truly understand because she had never been there. There are some NA groups here and I think I might do better there because, like here, everyone has been there and done that and can relate to what one is feeling both physically and mentally.
I was doing 160mg of Opana and today when I messed up I only did 20mg so, I am hoping that little scew up will not throw me back into w/d because I was doing so good with the physical part. Do you think that will happen? Thanks for all of your advice and I REALLY appreciate your honesty and how you do not "sugarcoat" things! Thats how I prefer it!!

[ImDONENoMore]

Yes I do have advice - aftercare!!!  NA, AA, therapy, counseling, addictionologist, pastor, rabbi, or ALL of the above!!  Seriously, countrygirl, find a way to deal with those feelings and the rest will follow.  There's simply no way to stay off of them until you figure out WHY you took them, what your triggers were, and have found ways to cope with all of those feelings WITHOUT using.  Simple?  Yes.  Hard?  Yes.

But you CAN do it - you've done it before so trust that you know how - now you need to just step it up a bit and try something new - but it's TOTALLY doable and you know it.  You just DO.  :)

[country_girl100]

Thanks for yelling at me!! lol...I have no clue as I have tried everything!! Does the mental part ever end???? I was clean before for about a year and thought about it almost EVERYDAY!!!! Any advice? I feel like crap right now emotionally!

[ImDONENoMore]

Sure!!  I'm happy to yell at you!!  You tried it your way - and you got off the pills - for a while.  And then you went back to them - so now..... what are you going to do DIFFERENTLY this time?