Happy Halloween - Open Forum

[groovygirl]

Happy Halloween everyone - Have a great day and night.

[Bodymechanic]

I am glad all of you feel so good when your off drugs but I sure as hell don't. I'm always tired, I ache all over and I can never sleep.  I am generally apathetic with no motivation and sometimes can be a pain in the ass to people.  I don't mean being off drugs for a few weeks, I mean being off for years at a time. It is always the pain and the general fatigue that drives me back to the opiates.  I truely feel better on them.  I mean in low doses of say 5-10 mg a day of hydro. If I did not abuse them, which of course I always do, I would be fine.  

I have been reading in the psychiatric literate about numerous cases of depression related to depletion of endogenous endorpines (just a theory).  I can't help but wonder if that is what is wrong with me.  The usual antidepressants usually make me much worse. I'm sure I can go on forever like this but the quality of my life inside myself is not nearly what it could be.  I also think I could help a lot more people if I didn't always feel boarderline shitty all the time.  Yes I found God a long time ago.


Looking for the cure


Peace

[taeme]

Those vics ES have 750mg acetaminophen wheren't you worried about keep the ratio of acetaminophen to hydrocodone to a minimum.  I always tried to stay away from the higher doses of tylenol, ect... cause I knew I wasn't taking the recommended and I knew I was looking for liver failure.  Just wondering what you think?  Are you, did you have probs with your liver?  Do you know anything about taking too much guiafenesin and pseudoeffedrin,(what I called the filler in my hydrocodone cough medicine, not like tussio..)?

[taeme]

I hate to be the downer here, but I have been off opiates for periods of 3mos or more and I felt pretty normal however I always came back to the same conclusion that I felt better happier with them.  I do see how someone can feel better without them cause they don't control your life and actions so much. And perhaps some or most of the guilt goes away, and get better with time.  But me, my person doesn't feel better just the spirit a little.  I still can't help wanting them.

[puma]

Taemee,

You sound like you are going through some serious withdrawals and are at the end of your rope. I've been in that situation and I know what you are going through. People here don't mean to give you the run around, they simply are past that stage and seem to have forgotten the depths one will go to, to obtain that needed item whether it be drink or pill, whatever. Try the onlines but be prepared to send your medical records so the Docs can save their own butts by not prescribing meds by only words given over the net.

Coming here, you will only find people trying to avoid drugs, not getting deeper into them. You still seem to be in the denial stage, only my opinion. I was there before and even thought of violence at times during heavy withdrawal. That's why they say alchohol and benzo withdrawal are dangerous to the person addicted and to anyone in their way during detox!!!!! Your brain is in full amperage overload right now and you need to have some real communication and figure out what you want to do and how to go about it. Take care and good luck.

Chatahan

[athena]

Hi and welcome
I have been reading your posts and noticed that you seem to be warming up to the idea of life without opiates.I too believed that they gave me more energy,made me feel happy and generally made my life better.It was not untill I was off them for a few weeks that i noticed a great improvement in my energy level.I really didn't realize that the hydro were actually robbing me of my energy,concentration and desire to be with others.The chronic pain is a tough one.maybe you can find something non narcotic to help you.I wish you good luck.

p.s
I never thought life could be good without opiates.It can be GREAT!

pixi

[athena]

Well that post made my day.lol Im glad you feel welcome.I probably read posts for 2 mos before I got up the nerve to post.Im so glad I did though.The people here are great.
You sound like you have lost your confidence in yourself.I have lost mine and am struggling to get it back.First of all,you need to get a life of your own.It's great to be a loving parent but we need attention too.Your ex will continue to take advantage of you as long as your available.Trust me,a good friend of mine has used me as her gopher for 4yrs.While I was in a relationship 4yrs ago,she pretty much took care of herself (shes 58) as soon as I stopped dating (because I lost my confidence) she had me doing all her grocery shopping,running errands and taking care of her grandchildren.she basically tells me that im not doing anything anyway so I should help her.Im 39 and a nurse so she thinks I can take care of her or something.Anyhow,the point im trying to make is that if we dont have a life of our own,we will get taken advantage of by exs' and friends.lol I thought taking hydro was giving me the ability to be more social when actually it was robbing me of the one thing I needed to be social,my confidence!Sorry about the novel,I've rambled enough.Glad your here.

pixi