Help-prescription fraud-need advice desparetly

[Help me Im drowning]

Someone please give me some good advice....I am seriously addicted to opiates and I think I have finally hit rock bottom. I have been on narcotics for 4 years now. I have degenerative arthritis and just had diskogram done several months ago and found out I have a tear in the fibers around L5-S1 and the center nucleous is leaking out...(herniated disk). I am a patient at a pain clinic and am now on Methadone. My doc wants me to have an IDET but my insurance wont cover it and I think I am too young for a fusion...Im not even 30 yet and really couldnt afford the surgery anyway. For the past year I have been going through the cycle of running out of meds early and trying to figure out how to get more to get me through. Recently I was involved in a car wreck...well it was a road rage incident....guy with big stuffed duck tied to front end of flatbed utility truck ran me off the road passing me, i blew horn and he slammed on brakes and reversed into me causing 5,000 dollars damage to my car...broke my husbands foot and then he waited for cops to get there....needless to say I have been in extremem pain since then...I took extra methadone( I only take 30mg per day), so I ran out. My brother just had back surgery and he was taking percocet....he had a refill of vicodin left at the drug store and I called it in and picked it up.. I really didnt think he was using it anymore, and he wasnt, but he ran out of his percocet early and tried to get his refill just 4 days after I had already picked it up. I know I really screwed up, and he knows the truth now b.c I told him...he was mad but understood that I was desperate...going through withdrawels for 3 days and in pain and knew I could get my meds for 5 more days....the problem is now his workers comp is involved and is filling a police report. I am wondering if anyone has been through this kind of thing before.....I am hoping that by the grace of GOD that I wont be recognized on the surveillence tapes at the store. The pharmacy told him whoever picked it up cam in the store so they will be going through the tapes with the police soon....I didnt really go in the store, I went through the drive-thru not in my car and with dark shades on....the store doesn'thave camerras that show tag numbers, just the car through the window...I am hoping that because I was driving a super-raised truck that they wont be able to identify me...and my brother isnt either......PLease give any advice you can..... I know I messed up, but I am really a nice person, loving mom, devote Christian, but I gave in to a weakness and know I am so truely ashamed. My husband doesnt know how bad my provblem is. What should I do???????

Thanks for any advice.

HElp_me_im_drowing!!!!! And i dont want to go to federal prison....

[Shattered]

BeachTowel is being a bit judgemental and harsh. You need to wait it out and confide with your husband. Most importantly you need look at what caused this problem ( the addiction) and  concentrate on a plan to kick it.

[STEVE T]

Side stepping the real issue here, cant she say her brother had her pick it up or something like that.

[Dave W.]

IIf I were in your shoe's,I"d be more concerned about getting off the Methadone
before I was sent to jail. That's just me,the addict speaking. Your perceptions
of reality are surely all over the place. No offense,but do you really think the
police never catch their man(woman)? I have been to jail from drugs and
beleive me,it didn't even phase my drug use one bit. It actually made me
want to get high more to escape all the BS. Not trying to be the guy saying
that I've been there,done that,seriously. I truley think you need to act as if
you will be getting caught,(worst case senario),and if you have gone through
the withdrawls of Methadone,I'm almost positive,you won't want to be in jail
going through withdrawls,right?Go get some professional help ASAP,so you
won't make a very bad situation worse,for yourself and your loved ones. I'm
not trying to be a jerk,just trying to start you on the right path,since you (we all)
have at least done bad things which require other people's intervention for help.
All addicts need help,is what I'm saying.Good luck and God Bless you

[kuda]

Ok deep breath! You know you have  a big poblem. That's the first step! Now it's time to get some help. Why not let your husband know? If your going to deal with this he's gonna find out anyway.  Then call your doctor and TELL him or her whats been going on and that you want to stop and seek out other options for pain (there are other options that may work for you) If you find that they are not supportting your goals then find another doctor (they may suggest detox) Find a support group it helps a great deal to talk to someone who's walked in your shoes. If you have a pastor ect that may be something you may consider. You can overcome this!!!!

[oneway]

Do you think your making her feel even more guilty is helping.  Honestly I read a lot of your posts and I think you come off with I've done it all attitude that doesn't fly with a lot of people.  So what she stole from her brother.  She told the dude. She is in addiction.  Who doesn't lie.  She came on here and got the courage to speak and you try to bash her.  If you knew what I did when I was going at the streets hard you would probably be wanting to call the police on me.  Man we all paid the price for all the bad stuff we have done.  Why you trying to make a person feel more guilty.  I think she got balls for coming on here and admitting that.  Believe it or not man their are people on here that have gone through things that you haven't.  The people who usually think they know it all are usually the first to relapse.  Who cares if she thinks her story is unique?  Are you mad because she should realize that you have been through the same thing so she is not allowed to have her moment to vent.  I read a lot of stories on here and never comment but I almost always get something out of it.  How many times did you lie during your addiction man.  I know you may not mean to but in a lot of your post you come off like I've been there done that, I'm right.  Its easy for people to give the 2 cents but hard to actually listen.

[VOsRose]

You're so right.  We've all been through similar situations.  I was consumed by guilt over the "thefts" I perpetrated when I was using.  Mostly, it was scamming my poor, sweet mother out of her and my father's (whose cancer diagnosis and death was the catalyst to my addiction) hard earned savings.  I apologize to her, still, every chance I get.  Of course, she forgave me a long time ago.  Her ONLY concern was my life and that I get help.  I still have not forgiven myself.  I am fortunate that I am able, now, to take care of her financially.  It doesn't make it a bit better or a bit okay.  They worked hard and, from the day they got married, saved HALF of my father's income.  He died thinking she was well taken care of and would never have to worry about anything.  

The pain and worry I've caused her will never be okay.  The really, really sad thing is she is now subcoming to Alzheimer's and I'm not sure she really remembers the extent of the money she was sending me on a daily basis.  I will never forget.

Another thing is this...you are right on point with her needing to be honest with her husband about what is going on.  BUT...first she has to get over the "symptom" of her addiction and face the disease.  She will never be able to be honest with anyone until she is totally honest with herself.  She says she knows, but she has not yet admitted that she is not omnipotent in her addiction.  She needs to find, within her heart, the strength to admit it to herself and then she can be truly honest with her loved ones.  I'm afraid she may be in for a bumpy ride unless she can do that.

I can remember being in her exact position and trying to make deals with God...If you just get me through this without getting caught, I'll never do it again.   That was bull.  Not only did I do it again, I knew how to do it better so as not to make the same mistakes.  Pitiful, looking back.

When I finally faced my addiction, and dropped to my knees, humbled and ready for help, I was ashamed to ask.  I didn't feel worthy of asking God or anyone else for help...I had lied to them all so many times.  But, as I found, the people who love us are the first to forgive us and want the best for us, despite what we've done.  After we begin to heal ourselves, we can then begin to make restitution to others...and not before then.

I wish her, well, also.  I know how scared she is right now.  I also know that fear will be a distant memory if she doesn't stop the process.