Help!

[Maria_Vel]

Hello,
my name is maria, im 24 and i've never posted on any of these forums before. But i feel alone, more so that i have noone that can relate to what im going through, and besides , i dont think i would be completely honest, i dont do well with judgmental feedback i guess you can say. For over 2 years now, i have been taking percocet. I had 2 car accidents and ive always have bad back problems, since i was a child, with scoliosis, but even then i was an athlete, i did boxing and played softball. Fast forward , i met my husband to be when i was 19 , and he was 31, he was the best person i met in my life, always willing to help anyone, i figured maybe god blessed me since i had virtually no family and my mother was all i had after my grandmother died. Anyway im trying to make this short i really am!
But my fiance and i started as best friends and here we are now, he knows about what im going through, hes my best friend and tries his best to understand and not judge, which makes it worse because i feel like i didnt only mess myself up, im hurting my loved ones as well, thankfully hes been extremely supportive, so much that i was surprised, although i think he blames himself, see, the 2 accidents that put my back at its worse was with him driving, and i swear it, it wasnt his fault, the second accident, if he didnt act as fast as he did i would be dead.

Well, i started taking the 5mg, half 3 times a day, that was over 2 years ago, i cant afford injections , or surgeries, so my only option to not be in pain is the meds. i cant even count how many times my back went out in public and my fiance had to carry me out, now im up to 60mg a day.

I didnt realize what i did to myself, until one day i ran out, see, i would just take them as normal whenever i had pain, of course over the years my tolerance built up and i had to take more, the day i ran out was hell!!! Cold sweats, shivers, the bathroom trips, ever movement felt dull, and my legs were close to numb, it was the scariest thing ive ever been through, i didnt know this would happen, well i refused to believe it would, and ive done well enough to educate myself to know im going through withdrawal. I tried stopping but my body reacts soo badly, the best ive been able to so is cut down a bit, needless to say im terrified, will this ever get better? Will the fact that ive been on them for so long mean detox will never happen?

[psychdegree]

I hate to hear that but like crazyK9s said you arent alone. Trust me & guilt comes along all to well with this. Ive been there. I never got to that mg before but I was dependent on them for a while (I was on vicodene for knee surgerys and went thru withdrawls bc I was on them so long...bout 3yrs). But most who are on pain meds for a long time do go thru withdrawls bc its a chemical that has been there for a while & your body isnt use to being without..just like if we didnt have sugar we'd be sick. Yet detox (esp if you stop taking them) will happen on its on..its not pretty or easy but it will happen. My posts tend to be long so Ill try and make it short. If you want to stop taking them (& if your doc says you can) tell your doc you want to. He will cut you down gradually so the symptoms aren't so bad (bc you will have some) I cut myself down & the anxiety & cramps were pretty much the worst of it. It can last up to 1 to 2 weeks. But the worst of it is the first 72hrs. And your gonna want to take one to stop it but if you can make it past thoughs 72hrs you'll probably make it thru! Trust in God (if you believe) & in yourself & you can & it will happen. But regardless if you stop taking them your body will detox and the meds will come out off your body. (thru sweat, urine & the other ways) But think...you've been on them 2yrs...your going to have to cut down before completely stopping so thats a great start! Alot of ppl take them for 20 years + & stopped...it took a while...many have relasped bc the symptoms are so bad (& there so addicted to the feeling). But ive been where you are...its scary. But again if you wish to get off them start now! Sooner than later. Best wishes..hope this helped..feel free to discuss more!

[CrazyK9s]

Maria, You are not alone my dear.  I have never had a drug abuse problem, but have had dependance issues from having to take addictive drugs for long periods of time.  From experience I can say the withdraw from a six month dependency, and the withdraw from a 5 year dependency, have been pretty much the same.  Detox DOES happen, and you WILL get better.  You ARE blessed, and support is right at your fingertips.