Helping someone overcome

[renee7287]

Hey Guys. My boyfriend of 2 years has told me before that he was once addicted to heroin (before we met). He went to rehab and eventually quit. And tells me he has no desire to ever go back. However, I found out a few months ago that he was taking hydrocodone for his "back aches." He was getting it from some dealer. After arguing for a while, he convinced me that he was through. I recently learned that he is now taking Vicodin. And he's hooked. When it come to drugs I have always looked the other way. He's an adult and I never felt threatened by his usage. But now that he's admitted to me that he's addicted, I've become worried. I've tried discussing this issue with him calmly, but now I've just become angry. He knows what he's getting himself into (since he's gone through this before) but he continues to use. I dont understand it. And worse of all, I dont know what I should do, as far as helping him. Should I look the other way and figure he'll ween off it and stop? Should get mad? Should I integrate him everyday? Watch him? Steel the pills? I have no clue. I'm really confused. Someone help  

[Free2agoodhome]

Welcome......

Your story is very common..A active addict is a heartbreaking riddle. They have a way of pulling the rug from underneath everything out of nowhere

. I had a girlfriend in recovery for 5 years. She was the best GF ever.....but she would relapse and crush me,,,,I would drive the streets for hours and hours hoping to find her....the 3rd time I couldn't take it,,,,,I had to leave to save myself.....

I loved her... but I went on those escapades with her, she took me along emotionally .....almost like I relpased with her.....it drained me.....when she got clean the 3rd time it's not likie I didnt love her anymore.....she used it all up....

No one can really advise you on this one. Tough love is one of the hardest to demostrate....You know how much you are willing to tolerate. Someone mentioned above that the pills come first,,,sadly that is very true,,,,

Some of these have good healthy outcomes.... so stay positive..at the same time make sure you will  be ok if you have to bail,,,,

much support

Free~

[allmymarbles]

Three cheers for you and your wife. Nice to hear a success story.

[Norco1947]

My wife of 43 years was at her brakeing point with me . Let me know she was unhappy , Thinking of leaveing ,Told me what liveing with me useing pills all the time was like .
After pain & surgery I had been a 9 month pain pill user that went to 100mg Norco a day . Last 4 months no life just pills. How i seemed Good when i took the pills and 4 hours later CRANKEY and MEAN .
I have been feeling crappy thru the last few months on pills and know it was the pills since i was not in bad pain .
After my wife said what she felt . I felt like dieing , I never men't to cause her to be unhappy. I just lost it and cried , She said she would help get me back to where i was my old self if i tried. 43 years mosty good and 9 months almost ruined it .I want my life back more then i want Norco .

Afrer 3 weeks weaning Today is Day #1 no Norco today and i feel both crappy and good . Bad shakey Body & upset tummy , and emotions .

The good is not feeling like a drugie loser for the first time in a while .

Without my wife's support & love i don't think i could do this. She has been great thru my taper with each reduced dose i think she see's how hard the W/D are and lets me know i am doing ok .
The addiction is bad enough without the emotional stress to deal with .
Ron

[GarbageAddict360]

Have you asked him if he wants to go back into treatment?  If he wants the help and is really ready to give them up for good then he needs to either go into rehab or start working NA after he stops taking them.  If he seems to be delaying or isn't ready, then your best bet is to get out.  It only gets uglier as time goes by.  He may eventually start stealing and like allmymarbles said, his love for the opiates is stronger than any love he may have for you.  Nothing comes in between us and our pills.  The fact that he is a habitual offender makes me think that he isn't ready to own up to his addiction.  Talk to him, ask him what his plans are and if he says anything but get help then get to stepping :o)

[allmymarbles]

Where are you in this equation? Do you want to waste your youth trying to save an addict that doesn't want to be saved? You probably don't see it that way, but what are you getting out of this relationship? His love? Stand in line. Pills come first.

None of this is to say that he is a bad person. He might be one of the sweetest most lovable guys around. But he is very sick and there is no cure in sight. And you can't help him.

[wai92]

you need to talked to him, u guys known eah other for a good period off time now, try to sit him down when he is feeling ok and just talk to him, u cant not force to quit,bt other than get him the help and support he needs from u .
I m in the same shoes as ur bf and i know it is really hard on u since u cant  him not feel the withdrawal but u can talk to him when he is suffering. cuz the last thing u should do is walk out on him, unless he beats u or etc.... but right now he need every love and support he can get cuz  if u leave him, he propally wont have any other things to live for or even worst, u may be the only reason he double think before he take his rightful amount, cuz some ppl lose it after their love one walks out on them, they passaway from overdoes. god bless,  i m on my day 1 i feel just shiityy as ur bf if any worst(srry bad spelling just woke up LOL)

[tryingtocope39]

Here's the deal, unless HE wants to quit, you cannot make him. Hydrocodone, vicodin, norco, etc are all opiates...just a lesser form of heroin. Its the same addiction, just taken in a different form. I feel bad for him, but I really feel bad for you. You have 2 choices here. You can stand by & hope that he comes to his senses quickly (not likely) or you can get out now while the getting is good. I, personally, would GTFO! Its a tough decision, I know, but you just have to know that its out of your hands. Until he is ready to quit, you are just a bystander. The road of addiction leads to nothing but misery & grief. You are in a tough spot. I hope you make the best decision for YOU. Good luck, whichever way you decide to go.