Here I go again...

[amber22245]

IM sooo sick of using! I got clean back in march for 24 days and then relapsed on my birthday and have been using since. I took my last pill this morning so withdrawls should be coming soon. I have been here before so I know that this will pass im just so scared of relapsing again because i was soo sure i was done the last time...so yea no question really just saying hey aghh :)

[ImDONENoMore]

why are you in a situation where you had to say "no" to pills in the first place?  People, places, things.  They all gotta change.  AND it's time to start thinking about aftercare.  It's key to success.

[amber22245]

mini success i said no to some pills tonight even though i kinda wanted them...i know i gotta go to NA just super anxious to go because i live in a super small town

[Vecci4u]

Hi amber... Fellow addict to pills here and just starting my taper process after comming to terms with norco... I see you have a child to.... I am super dad with my pulls... Without I feel like super slug... Anyways wanted to send positive thaught and prayer to ya to stay strong for little ones we have

[kyle505]

NA is important. You have to work at staying clean. This forum is good, helpful, but isn't even close to an NA or AA meeting. After care is recommended by long time addicts who've stayed clean and by substance abuse specialist. It's really not an option if you want to stay clean.

[amber22245]

you are right for sure - he knows im quiting and he says he is too time will tell but im prepared this time to leave him if he doesnt keep up his end of the bargain- i didnt really have any sources because i cut all mine back when i got clean in march i was only getting from him through his sources....aftercare like na or something? i just dont see myself going there

[kyle505]

You are very brave - many relapse but aren't able to come back to the forum and talk about what they've done. And that is a VERY important conversation to have.
A lot of new folks are SO sure that, once they've overcome the physical hell of detox, that they'll never, ever use again. We talk about after care and getting rid of all pill sources, but most of us are so happy to be clean that we feel invincible and sometimes don't do what needs to be done to assure on going recovery. Then, as the memory of the days in hell starts to fade, our heads take over, "just one won't hurt. I've been clean for three months so I can control it". And that's where we fail.
If you don't cut all sources, and make your boyfriend understand that you are serious about stopping (and that includes special occasions), then you will find it difficult to stay clean, now and in the future. After the sources are cut, then you need after care. Both are part of the foundation that clean time is built on.  

[amber22245]

yea pretty much...My boyfriend got a text about some roxys and i was like uh what the hell ill just use tonight....well of course that didnt work. My daughter turns 2 on monday and my son turns 6 on next thursday and i want to be clean and sober on their birthdays and then on out. Im registered to go back to school on august 13th and i know i need to be sober to go back to college. just a lil nervous

[Free2agoodhome]

Welcome...stick around..this time think of where the weak part was in the recovery. Did you jsut say "heck its my birthday lets party?" don't feel bad you're an addict and the rationalization is normal....

dust off and get back on the horse and ride....we'll be here for ya...
Never too early to think about aftercare...(that suits you of course)

much support

Free~