Still here.. Still trying.. Not completely failing

[healthy_living]

Hey all I just wanted to say that I have still been logging on every day and I read every post to give me hope and to see that I am not alone.. Although I havent fully quit I continued (with a little more willpower) to ween myself off) -of oxycontin if you dont already know. I am finishing up school this week, it's hard to do with my withdrawals, no energy and the fact that I now have walking phemonia, a product no doubt of the fact that I smoke my oc. I have realized that it's harder for me to stop the act of smoking it then it is to stop myself from getting high. Anyways classes end Friday and although finals are not over until dec17 I don't want to drag it out that long I want to be clean as my Christmas to myself and my family (that still doesn't know-- I guess its easy to hide an addiction that no one is around to see) but I just want to enjoy the holidays sober and with the ones I love I am really trying and will definitely need support in rhe next 2 weeks so please don't be frustrated with me I haven't given up!

[Wolfmedicine]

Hey You,

In answer to your question re: long term cleanliness.  After years of Heroin, Methadone, Dilaudid and use of other Gnarly things (no offense Gnarly, Ha!) I kicked and stayed clean and fit for over twenty years.  An abundance of opioids including Methadone and Dilaudid became available to me a few years ago.  I thought I could use occasionaly, recreationally.  That went on for a while until using became necessary to function daily.  ACK!.  Go figure.  I thought I was doing the right thing and got on Subutex Detox (HUGE mistake).  After 1 1/2 years plus of that I had enough and quit.  I'm now around 60 days with nothing and feel great.  Working out again too.

You hang in there and get right!

WM

[gnarly_1]

Hey dude just checking in on you when the chips are down and your going threw it or just b/4 Ill be in touch...I like helping people out of this mess and will do everything I can to help you your not alone in this and just know no mater how bad your habit is it is breakable
I got your back just let me know when your ready to give it a go......Gnarly

[healthy_living]

Thank you so much for your support lord knows I need all I can get, thank you for your post and optimism.. It means a lot.. I have never felt more supported (as I dont have much support living alone) aside from my dog who licks my tears when I cry and makes me laugh lol can you tell I am lonely? Haha hopefully I will post with good news very soon!

[pillarr1]

I don't comment much on here but I wanted to say to u to be strong and keep thst goal in mind of a drug free xmas.  I agree that kicking the habit is the right time when u have another illness to get over.  I find that my wds were less noticable when I went ct and had a cold.  U can do this!

[healthy_living]

(I just saw that you were asking to chat then I am on my phone but if we could set up a time when you have time it would really help me to talk to someone like you, if it's not too much trouble)

[healthy_living]

Thank you all! Its so great to know that I am supported! I am loading up on supplies talking to work about getting some time off and I Am going to do this! Its time! I have so much more to live for than this and I truly believe that I need to quit or die at this point (not suicidal dont worry)! I just know it's all rhe smoking that got me so sick I can't wait to be normal again I am terrified and excited all at the same time! (hey at least I am feeling) although I cry over the littlest things it's kinda nice to have emotions again... I will keep posting thank you for listening it really means the world to me.. Its weird how much strangers make me feel not alone even when I just read.. And gnarly I would love to be able to chat with you and get deeper into what's really going on with me everyone speaks so highly of you and your opinions and how successful you have been kicking it after 15 years or something? I have so much respect for you you give me hope that I really can do this I want it more than I want drugs or anything else for that matter I Just need to keep this momentum and will power

[gnarly_1]

want to chat my messenger is on....I will go into your mind with you

[ang_811]

jinks...lol

[ang_811]

i know how hard it is to walk away from oxycontin..but it sounds like u want ur life back more then u want to use..thats great..this will b my first christmas sober in years and im looking forward to it..hang n there..ive learned that every1 here dont give up on ne1..we help those who want help..keep posting for support and def keep posting to let us know how ur diong...maybe u should check up on the thomas recipe..its on the bottom right side of ur screen..good luck...angie ♥

[gnarly_1]

HI Welcome to the forum ...good to here you been reading post...also look at the health pages on the lower right of the screen....the act of using and be just as addicting as the drug
I always say this is 1/3 physical and 2/3 mental that is some of what im talking about it can be a real mindscrew to get past stuff like that when you ready to quit just let us know
will be here for you just know it worth it once all is said and done good luck and God bless
Gnarly

[healthy_living]

Thanks.. I plan to do that when I can get off work for a few days, I have pretty much Already bought everything now it's just a matter of time.., and I am under a doctors care I just got perscribed the antibiotics for it and everything so kick this sickness then kick the other sickness along with it!

[healthy_living]

Thanks.. I plan to do that when I can get off work for a few days, I have pretty much Already bought everything now it's just a matter of time.., and I am under a doctors care I just got perscribed the antibiotics for it and everything so kick this sickness then kick the other sickness along with it!

[Wolfmedicine]

Hey,

Believe it or not, sometimes being ill and feeling crappy is a blessing, especially when you're trying to kick.  Since you are going to feel like crap anyway, why not kick too?  Are you going to have a few days that you can hole up and do nothing?  Starting maybe Saturday or Sunday?  If so, stock in the Gatorade, Vitamins, Supplements, Ensure or some such thing, Advil, Immodium, movies and such for distraction and say goodbye to Oxy.  Make no mistake, it's not easy but you can do it and be feeling much better by Christmas.

If you truly have pnuemonia, you should be under a Drs. care.  It's nothing to fool with.......

[eyeofhorus2010]

I'm new here too and if I've learned anything at all here it's that these people don't give up on anyone. You'll get all the support could want here. Just keep on posting and reading. You'll get there.